Brother Duncan

Great news for Donuts lovers in Denver! Brother Duncan is planning to bring his donuts to the Mile High market.

http://www.bizjournals.com/denver/news/2011/09/08/dunkin-donuts-eyes-return-to-denver.html

But isn't Denver a healthy city? Would we really embrace a mass proliferation of fried pastries upsetting our healthy Rocky Mountain high? Here is a list raking the top 10 best and worst cities in American in terms of health. http://www.bestplaces.net/docs/studies/healthy.aspx

Top 10 Cities with Highest Healthiest Cities Scores		Top 10 Cities with Lowest Healthiest Cities Scores
1)	San Jose, CA	1)	New Orleans, LA
2)	Washington, DC	2)	San Antonio, TX
3)	San Francisco, CA	3)	Cincinnati, OH-KY-IN
4)	Seattle-Bellevue-Everett, WA	4)	Cleveland-Lorain-Elyria, OH
5)	Salt Lake City-Ogden, UT	5)	Orlando, FL
6)	Oakland, CA	6)	Columbus, OH
7)	Sacramento, CA	7)	Detroit, MI
8)	Orange County, CA	8)	New York, NY
9)	Denver, CO	9)	Las Vegas, NV-AZ
10)	Austin-San Marcos, TX	10)	Indianapolis, IN

I'm predicting a drop out of the top 10 if we embrace this pastry invasion. However I will be more than happy to pick up an occasional Boston Creme. Heck, during my mission in Boston, it was a sin not to have a dozen on the table during district meeting.

Of course, anyone who really knows Dunkin realizes this is about coffee not donuts. But I don't have a horse in that game. Perhaps if they start offering medical marijuana doughnuts they can dominate the market and put Starbucks out of business. After all, weed is #1 in Denver with more dispensaries than Starbucks. I guess Mile High no longer refers to just altitude. http://www.portfolio.com/views/blogs/heavy-doses/2010/01/05/medical-marijuana-stores-outnumber-starbucks-in-denver/

Catching Fire

This evening El Burr was getting ready for bed and came down to the kitchen to inform the Boss that she could not wear her new PJs. 

WHAT?

She then produced a yellow tag that was on the clothes with this warning:

Naturally, she interpreted this to mean if she wears these PJs she is going to catch on fire. Fortunately, we didn't laugh too much, calmed her down and she is now sleeping in her high-risk PJs. A special thanks to lawyers everywhere who help us sleep better at night. 

DEFIANCE

The Gator is reaching what I like to call the Houdini stage of childhood. The little mechanical engineer in their brain starts to wake up and realize they can open doors, get out of car seats, bake cookies, light the cat on fire and refuse to take naps or go to bed.

So the Boss and I have begun the Battle of the Blanket with Gator. After several victories, I decided to put one of those "Childproof" handle covers on his doorknob inside his bedroom so he can't get out. Most of us adults know you can break them off by splitting them from the middle. So does Gator.

The Boss called me at work today to let me know that shortly after putting him in his room for his nap, she sat down with Coco for a restful feeding. But moments later, a little head rounded the corner. He gave her a stern "you shouldn't have done that" glare and threw the two halves of the cover in her face at the same time.

But this is not an isolated incidence.

A week after Coco's arrival, I went to church with the family. During the opening hymn, I was asked to help the Deacons with the Sacrament. Without thinking I jumped up leaving the Lizard to watch El Burr and Gator. Well, this had been a tough week for the Man-cub and this act of treason by his dad was too much. I got a tap on the shoulder from Jake who informed me that my son was "throwing" a fit.

Apparently, moments after I left the bench (hard to hear all of this with the music going), Gator yelled "NO!" and with both arms threw his toy box cars across the aisle at an unsuspecting parishioner. He then proceeded to pick up the hymnals and throw them over the bench and on the floor. He them picked up my scriptures and  tossed them at the family behind us. At this point, with great reluctance, Jake called on me to stop the fracas.

This is a great example of how the people in my congregation failed me. With all of the smartphones in the room not one person captured this event. Sure, we can catch all of those ignoramus athletes when the do something stupid, but catching a shot-put exhibition in the middle of Sacrament meeting is apparently too much to ask. I'm sure this would have gotten 1M hits if it could have been captured. But all I have is the re-created memory in my head.

I'm pleased to say Gator hasn't resorted to violence against Coco, but he sure is throwing a fit. The following video embodies the spirit of this month for the Gator:

I hate QB Controversies

The NFL lockout is over, football is back and all I get from my local talk radio is this:

Q: What do you guys think about John Fox as the new head coach?
A: Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow intangibles Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton win now Tim Tebow Kyle Orton I'm better Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow intangibles Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Dolphins Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton better Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow fans Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Jockey Underwear Kyle Orton $9M Tim Tebow Kyle Orton

Q: How do you think the Defense looks this year with Vaughn Miller and new Free Agents?

A: Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow intangibles Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton win now Tim Tebow Kyle Orton I'm better Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow intangibles Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Dolphins Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton better Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow fans Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Jockey Underwear Kyle Orton $9M Tim Tebow Kyle Orton

Q: What do you think of the offensive line, McGahee and running the ball more?

A: Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow intangibles Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton win now Tim Tebow Kyle Orton I'm better Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow intangibles Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Dolphins Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton better Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow fans Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Kyle Orton Tim Tebow Jockey Underwear Kyle Orton $9M Tim Tebow Kyle Orton

This is what all this talk is doing to Broncos fans everywhere:

Crazy Stupid Love & Pizza

Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy anniversary! Today marks 12 years of blissful employment with the Boss. Yesterday we celebrated with some Neapolitan pizza from Marco's Coal Fired Pizzeria in the Vallagio. The Sicilian was very fresh, wonderful crust, amazing Ricotta, can't go wrong. Two can split a pizza for about $17 and be very satisfied. Jake suggested we try the chicken wings, which were excellent. They reminded me of my mother's clay pot chicken.

Next we headed over to the sold-out Landmark for Crazy Stupid Love... a great description of why I haven't been fired yet. This movie had me cracking up right from the get-go and didn't let up. Carrel learning to become a womanizer was hilarious. And let's not forget a STELLAR performance by Josh Groban. Its sad to say, but the Boss had to point him out to me (Sorry Josh - you know Oprah and I still love you). There was a significant plot twist near the end (which I shall not give away) that had me rolling. Plus, Kevin Bacon continues to expand his empire. Can't miss with this flick for a date night.

My biggest problem with this movie is the yard work. After getting the ax, Cal still goes back to his house at night and prunes the rose garden, fertilizes flowers, aerates the lawn... at this point the Boss leans over -- "Look how much he loves her!" I admit, I completely stink at yard work. Marginal forced labor as a child with a push mower scarred me for life. And now I'm paying for it... I hate you Cal.

My Son Conquers Hanging Lake

Last Saturday I assaulted Hanging Lake in Glenwood Canyon with the Lizard, El Burr and Gator. This is a 1.2 mile hike (each way) and has a 1,000 ft elevation gain. I intended to carry the Gator to the top, however he would have none of it. And so it was, this determined MAN-CUB nearly completed the entire ascent. I was immensely proud and also a bit upset that he has stolen away so much of my life essence. To show my fatherly feelings of joy, I share the following:

Here are some pictures of the lake. Totally worth the hike, but don't be crazy like me. This isn't for small kids, especially if you don't want to carry them all the way down after they pass out from exhaustion.

2011 Summer Film Rankings

I have blown way too much money at the movies this summer. But I've had a great time doing it. Here is my ranking of the movies I've taken in thus far this summer. And don't get ticked if I give away some spoilers.

8. Green Lantern - Ryan Reynolds made this flick bearable, but the amount of CGI made me feel like I was watching a Star Wars prequel. I'm sure GL purists love the mask, but it was too much CGI for me.

7. Thor - Since I don't bat for the other team, I guess I missed out on the point of this movie. Enough said on that. The Asgard stuff was good, but the scenes on earth were just awkward. I'm still waiting for the Academy to take the Oscar back from Natalie Portman for this movie. My favorite moment? "This drink... I like it! [SMASH] ANOTHER!!" - Justified the whole $200M production.

6. Transformers - I broke my vow to never watch a movie in 3D again and paid the price. Nothing special really jumped out at me. I was stunned that most of the Decepticons were killed at the end. I was pleased this movie didn't feel like a 3-hour recruitment video for the Marines. But I did walk out the theater feeling like a 13 year-old again. For the 3rd time, a perfectly good action movie was messed up by 50 pointless body-shots of a supermodel that does not belong in such a movie.... Look at those explosions! Look at that perfect hair! The wing suits were probably my favorite part of the flick. Amazing stuff there. I'm hoping for a 4th installment so we can see the Constructicons combine to form Devastator and Battle Omega Supreme as the camera pans back and forth between epic mechanical alien battles and sweaty supermodels with epic facial expressions.

5. Super 8 - Like most monster movies, it was really great up until the monster is revealed. I want a movie were aliens either come and enrich mankind or just eradicate us by putting something in the water. This really was a great flick, if you are not prone to blowing money at the box office, its a very worthy rental.

4. Kung Fu Panda 2 - Any movie were Jack Black gets to geek out over Kung-fu works for me. The peacock villain was a great change from a typical bad guy. Lots of fun for the family.

3. X-Men First Class - The camp factor was at a minimum, which is not an easy feat for a comic book film. I think this installment is my favorite of the franchise thus far. McAvoy and Fassbender were great as young Prof. X and Magneto. Kevin Bacon extends the power of his six degrees of separation to the comic book world. Now none can escape him. Can't wait to see X and Mag mix it up in the next chapter.

2. Midnight in Paris - Loved this movie. Hemingway was HILARIOUS! - Just a sample of his dialogue for posterity:

"Yes. It was a good book because it was an honest book, and that's what war does to men. And there's nothing fine and noble about dying in the mud unless you die gracefully. And then it's not only noble but brave."

"All men fear death. It's a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that we haven't loved well enough or loved at all, which ultimately are one and the same. However, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world and one that makes you feel truly powerful, that fear of death completely disappears. Because when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman the world fades away. You two are the only ones in the entire universe. You conquer what most lesser men have never conquered before, you have conquered a great woman's heart, the most vulnerable thing she can offer to another. Death no longer lingers in the mind. Fear no longer clouds your heart. Only passion for living, and for loving, become your sole reality. This is no easy task for it takes insurmountable courage. But remember this, for that moment when you are making love with a woman of true greatness you will feel immortal."

"No subject is terrible if the story is true, if the prose is clean and honest, and if it affirms courage and grace under pressure."

...Right. This comedy kept me rolling the whole time. Owen Wilson was perfect and it was great to see Rachel McAdams get back to being evil.

1. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part Deux - Hollywood magic at its best. I truly forgot about life for the span of this movie. The final chapter truly did not disappoint me at all. Dare I say the film actually improved on the book with memories from Snape's tears and the memories in the adaptation make his courage and love for Lilly much more compelling than what I originally imagined in the book. The final battle was truly a spectacle. Finally a movie where Voldermort gets plenty of screen time. Radcliffe wasn't amazing, but didn't get in the way of the story either. I'm sure all of the WB execs are wishing they had chosen to split all 7 books into two movies and made $4B instead of $2B. Heck, I would have been game for it. The end is very bittersweet. I came home, looked at my black cat and started hoping it would transform into a witch. I guess I'll just have to wait for the all-mighty JK to roll out new material in the future. This is a very fitting end to a huge franchise. Must be seen on the big screen - Yes CA I'm talking to you. Set your pride aside and enjoy the moment.

BTW - The trailer for the Dark Knight Rises already has my geek-out meter on 10. Until next summer. At least TDKR it will get here before 12-21-2012.

Smoke-out

Yesterday the Boss and I hosted one of the largest gatherings we've ever attempted. Nearly 40 people in the back yard to celebrate the 4th of July with some food, the trampoline, bean bags, Eagles radio and good times. But what took it all to the next level, was not that this was a BBQ or Cookout - it was a Smoke-out.

What exactly is a Smoke-out? I assure you it has nothing to do with the tradition of slowly infusing meats with savory smoke hour after hour. Its the opposite. When you are trying to grill up 40 burgers, 15 bratwurst and 10 hot dogs in a matter of 20 minutes to feed a small platoon the grease from all that meat goes crazy. Plus when the wind carries all of that smoke right into your guests faces, you have a genuine Smoke-out.

The smoke got so thick I thought the back yard looked like a war movie set. But as I shouted out to the choking crowd for takers on two bratwurst I was informed I looked like I was having a Cheech & Chong "up in smoke" moment. As I stood over the grill adding cheese and removing burgers the tears literally streamed down my face. I wept on the 4th of July.

Finally I shut down the grill and enjoyed the fruit of our smoke. You know you stink at grilling when multiple people tell you "poor thing" as they see your bloodshot eyes. Shortly after we finished eating, the F-16s that I ordered did an impressive fly-by over the house. But that wasn't the end of my over-the-top performance. We then proceeded to the street for some crazy illegal suburban fireworks which I happened to pick up in Cheyenne last week during a work trip.

Its sad when the excitement of fireworks is based in whether or not they will burn down the neighbor's house or blow up a parked car in front of a crowd of witnesses. But I was determined to be a good host to the bitter end. Granted, we didn't lite up the rockets or M-150s I picked up (save those for camping), but there were a few fountains that defied gravity and had some serious explosive power. The first crackling fountain sent five of the girls screaming and running for the front porch. The kids also got a kick out of multiple smoke bombs going off at once, continuing the theme of our evening. Apparently, our fireworks were crazy enough to lure some kids out from down the street that were forbidden to have fireworks. I became a corrupter of youth and an enemy of the street.

After the show, our smoke infused friends departed and we headed over to our "Secret Spot" to watch the big fireworks show. I hate to say this, but without the music that goes with the show, 20 minutes of fireworks gets old. Maybe I'm not a true American anymore or I was just Smoked-out.

Lionel Richie IS THE MAN

As I relax on this wonderful holiday weekend, I turn to the great music of the past that embodies the spirit of freedom of expression through music. Although I was too macho to admit I got misty when this song came on the radio as a youth, I can now own up to it. This video is simply amazing!

No one rocked geri curls better than Lionel. The whole plot of forbidden love between a music teacher and a blind student is timeless. Name me one other video with sultry braille reading followed by a life sized bust of the singer that could double as a chia-head. The ending was tribute to the beauty and power of love to overcome all obstacles. Even blindness.

I'm disgusted with most of today's music. Where are the good times? The good feelings? Gone forever. At least we can look back and say, Hello!

Metal Singing Lessons

As an old hair metal enthusiast, I found this to be totally awesome! To be sure to at least watch from 2:18 for the best effect.

Bow to Nostra-Fletch-a-Damus

Yes folks. I called it... though looking through a glass darkly. Pottermore will be a type of MMORPG, just a bit different from the typical one. Rest assured, my predictions for your future are reliable. For $50 I'll take any other challenges.

I can see into your soul...

Pottermore & Virtual Reality

Today I saw a link the following website put together by J.K. "Awesome" Rowling, http://www.pottermore.com/. If you go to the site, you'll see the following:

I must admit, I'm sweaty with anticipation. But for what? Here are some rumors from jotzoom.com of what Pottermore is:

• It’s a social networking site for Harry Potter fans
• It’s a Harry Potter branded smart phone
• It’s a Harry Potter encyclopedia
• It’s an online Harry Potter MMORPG game
• It’s a iOS game for iPhone, Ipad
• It’s a new series of Harry Potter related books
• It’s a prequel book to Harry Potter
• Another Harry Potter theme park, possibly in the UK
• A new official Harry Potter fan site 

All noble guesses, but there can only be one. Its time for Nostra-Fletch-a-Damus to take over and declare the future!

Pottermore will be a Massively Multi-player Online Role-playing Game or Harry Potter and the MMORPG. (Pronouced "more-pig" - yes bacon lovers rejoice.) For those of you who don't know what that is: 

MMORPG "is a genre of role-playing video games in which a very large number of players interact with one another within a virtual game world." Think Everquest, etc. You know the never ending games people get addicted to and wind up getting divorced or kicked out of school over. You must think I'm joking. But people get very serious about their MMORPGs:

http://gamersushi.com/2010/11/22/todays-wtf-virtual-mmo-real-estate-sold-for-335000/

Yes, people spend some serious bucks for their fantasy life. Soon all of the Pottermaniacs can create their own avatar, buy a wand from Olivander and actually attend Hogwarts! (after spending $10,000 on tuition). I can't wait to hear Snape lecture potions, or stroll down Diagonally and try on the latest dress robes, maybe spend a year practicing to play in the Quidditch world cup, or pet a Norwegian Ridge Back!

But here is where Nostra-Fletch-a-Damus is going to get bold. Virtual Reality MMORPGs will become the greatest addiction to mankind on the planet. In the "not too distant future" in the "cyberden of tomorrow" you may go to work for 6 hours a day and spend 10 in the virtual world of your choice. Kevin Flynn certainly got stuck in his virtual world in Tron Legacy and the Lawnmower Man got crazy smart living in a computer. Why can't I become the most powerful wizard in the virtual world of Pottermore? Or fight Darth Vader in the carbon freezing chamber on Bespin? 

But this goes beyond just games. A business conference call could now take place with everyone in the same room. Long Distance relationships? A thing of the past. And if any female readers think there are no perks, how about shopping for clothes or a trip to the spa? Sticking your crazy kids into a cyber trampoline center while you take a nap?

This all sounds nuts to me. But how far off are we from achieving this? NFAD is not sure, but since I've already predicted the world will end on April 6, 2033 http://fletchword.blogspot.com/2010/01/teotwawki.html, the VR MMORPGs people better get moving. I now predict it will happen by 2025. After the Anti-Christ rules the VR MMORPG world for eight years and people give up on the reality God created for them, the Lord will come to reclaim us from our misguided attempts at happiness. Perhaps that is how everyone will see the sign of his comming? We'll all be hooked up to a VRMMORPG. Only those with the faith to unplug themselves will go out to meet Him while the rest burn as they cling to an artificial world ruled by the devil. 

Hold Music

I got stuck on the phone today with some hold music that wasn't bad at first, but after 5 minutes, the clapping drove me nuts. I now share it with you:

And no post on this subject is complete without the following Star Wars parody:

I swear I'm not that bored, just compelled by odd things today.

BTW - In my last post I should have said the Jim Carey "A Christmas Carol" flick based on the Dickens Classic and Polar Express theme should be renamed "A Halloween Carol." It practically scared my kids to death! What's with the Ghost of Christmas Present turning into a laughing skeleton blown away by the wind? Someone fell off the Polar Express and forgot this is a kids Christmas movie. Oh well...

Middle of June

A few random hits for the summer thus far:

• Movie: Hereafter - I heard this was an awful movie, but actually rather enjoyed it. Perhaps it was due to shouting "BDH!!!" every time Bryce Dallas Howard was on screen, who knows? The whole twins thing and the depressing music was great. The Tsunami scene at the beginning made the whole time investment worthwhile. And once again, we have a movie with French people acting like superior self-absorbed, jerks. Good times.

• Movie: Rabbit Hole - Despite the WORST title of all times for a movie, I decided to pick this up at the Red Box. This movie is like rubbing your face against an emotional cheese grater for 2 hours. Its one ugly conversation after another. Nothing in this movie showed that grief can also be beautiful and a necessary part of life. Ekhart's failed seduction scene with the Al Green music was pretty dang awesome. But outside of that, near the end I started wishing a Rabbit Hole would allow me to escape from the film. But I rarely give up on a movie and saw this out to the bitter end. The only fun I managed to have during this movie was yelling "YANG!" at the actress from Grey's Anatomy and telling her to scrub up for surgery. 

• Talking to Movies - I have a problem with that lately. 

• Eating Bugs - The Lizard and I have taken to doing evening bike rides. Can I just say how wonderful it is when your kids are old enough to do things like this instead of watch Sponge Bob and demand ice cream? The only downside is swallowing a mosquito and having it wriggle around in the back of your throat for 10 minutes. Lizard handled an 8 mi ride with flying colors and no complaints. Perhaps its time to get her a road bike and start training for the Tour de France?

• LBJ = Choke Artist - LeBron, you want 7 titles? At this pace you'll be lucky to get 1 or 2 if you keep choking to death in the 4th Quarter. However, the Karma Factor should be considered here. Dirk got hosed by the officiating in Miami in 2006. Perhaps the Universe was just giving it back to him with a sick Game 2 comeback and then a close-out win in Game 6 in Miami? I'm no Mavs lover, but it was good to see Dirk and Kidd win a title and get off "The List" of great NBA players with no ring.

• Chrome Convert - Yes CA, I have converted all of my work and home browsing to Chrome and am LOVING it! Things really do run smoother, faster and I feel a little less evil... Heck, even my work is moving our email provider over to Gmail. We'll still keep our domain, but all of the storage, etc. will be on Gmail when I'm away from my lappie or phone. Does this mean Google is now becoming as evil as Microsoft if I'm using them so much?

• Geeking Out - I want to know what character I should be for the midnight session of HPDH Part Duex - The movie experience of a GENERATION. Yes, I commit here and now to dress up and take pictures. 

I Love the Wind

Lately, we've had a consistent breeze here in the Mile High City. Not necessarily a blustery day like Pooh dealt with, but a mild wind, nothing strong enough to give you serious problems or ruin a picnic. Although I'm not out reveling in it, I'm enjoying it. I wouldn't be surprised to see the ghost of Patrick Swazye show up and start serenading me with "She's Like the Wind" on my back porch as I watch the sun go down. What could be better? 

But I've heard several people complain that this gentle caress of air is driving them nuts.

????

What's so bad about a breeze? Here are reasons why our recent air flow is a good thing. 

1. Keeps the air fresh and the smog away making our skyline beautiful.
2. Evening breezes help cool off the house reducing the need for AC and energy savings
3. Saving energy saves the planet and makes you a good person regardless of how you live.
4. Wind Turbines and tax dollars to build them are suddenly justified.
5. The Bible says being born of the Spirit is like the Wind. (St. John 3:8). The Bible further references wind 158 times.
6. The wind is a gentle reminder from God or the Universe (whatever you prefer) that he is still there even if you can't see him.
7. Sports - Kite flying, sailing, wind surfing, hang gliding, parasailing, snowskiting and ice boating. Are you ready to give those up?
8. Think of all the manual laborers grateful for a breeze to help cool them off as they perform back breaking labor.
9. The Legend of Zelda - Wind Waker.
10. A breeze for football players on a two-a-day in August is a gift indeed.

The list could go on an on, but I've made my point. Whether you are a member of the Green religion worried about your carbon footprint or Old School religion and worried about salvation, white collar, blue collar, athletic or artistic, you should love the wind.

And now to honor the wind I list the 10 greatest songs about the wind.

1. "Wind of Change" - Scorpions
2. "Dust in the Wind" - Kansas
3. "She's Like the Wind" - Patrick Swazye
4. "Summer Breeze" - Seals & Croft
5. "Candle in the Wind" - (Sir) Elton John
6. "Blowin in the Wind" - Peter Paul & Mary - Bob Dylan
7. "Ride like the Wind" - Christopher Cross
8. "Wind beneath my Wings" Bette Midler
9. "Against The Wind," - Bob Seger
10. "Rock you like a Hurricane" - Scorpions

The Scorpions make the list twice and are thus the greatest "Wind" band of all times. If you are still struggling with the wind, contact me and I'll send you a CD of the Top 10 Winds songs absolutely free!! You'll get that fine, breezy feelin back. I'll say it again: what could be better?

The Future of Movie Franchises

And now for a taste of things to come:

Laugh all you want. This is the future. I'm excited for the 4 new movies to be made off of the final Batman film and my head is going to explode thinking about the Justice Leauge and the Avengers.

Turkey in the Eagle's Nest

Tonight I attended a Court of Honor and was obliged to join the "Eagle's Nest" where all those valiant in scouting to the rank of Eagle reside in glory. But some like me perch in shame.

Behind nearly every Eagle is a great threat. Here are some I've heard over the years:

• No driver's license till Eagle
• Can't participate in a sport or activity
• Denial of college support/tuition
• General shunning from parents outside of legally required support
• Pouring honey in hair while asleep (no joke)

I come from a line of Scouting. For my father, Scouts was like sports for me. Going to Philmont was like the Superbowl in Dallas with the big screen. His father got the Silver Beaver and by heaven, his offspring would have their Eagle. When he tragically died on the Klondike, my Eagle became not just a goal, but an unbreakable blood oath. So I add my threat to the list (never issued to me, but clearly implied by the Universe):

• DON'T SHAME THE MEMORY OF YOUR DECEASED FATHER WHO DIED IN THE ACT OF SCOUTING.

Even a boneheaded teenager can get that one... Barely. I got my life rank by the time I was 13 and it only took me a mere 5 years to complete my project and get my Eagle 2 days before turning 18. I pause now to thank the multiple leaders who made Herculean efforts to get my project approved, completed and written up. And it all starts as a cub scout getting their Bobcat badge and being flipped upside down.


A taste of things to come?

I think if the parents did over 70% of the work, the Eagle award should be presented while the father has the son in an excruciating arm bar. Then, the mother pins the badge directly into their son's flesh. The screams of agony would be like the birth of a new baby Eagle.  

I was free from shaming my father's memory, but I was now bound to a life of being a Turkey in the Eagle's Nest. Can I tie a bowline hitch? Throw a hatchet through a log at 25 yards? Repel dysentery through sheer intestinal fortitude? No.

I am a disgrace.

I don't own a scout uniform anymore. I don't fancy wearing hankies around my neck. I'm not sure I can name all of the ranks correctly in order right now or recite the scout law. I know many non-Mormons find our approach to rushing kids through the Eagle (such as me) disgraceful. So why do I sit in the Eagle's nest? My mother worked too hard for me not to. If I rejected the nest, I would be rejecting the sacrifice of my parents.

Will I impose the Eagle standard on my own son? No.

I will encourage him and help, but no threats. I declare this here and now in the presence of you three readers!!

Why? If he gets his Eagle, I want him to be able to hold his head up in the Eagle's Nest with clear eyes and a full heart. Able wrestle a bear into submission, lash massive towers together with elaborate knots and eat things that would make a Billy-goat puke. The way a real Eagle should be.

Comic Book Movies: For Chicks?

Last week I got to crash girls night out at the Wednesday night movies. They were planning to see THOR and I figured my man card would remain intact...

Boy was I wrong. Before tip-off the girls were already giggling over the hunky guy playing the legendary, ripped, THOR. Within one minute, Natalie Portman hits THOR with her van and seeing this stud on the ground exclaims, "Please don't be dead!"

That basically summed it up. To further my point, I know a high school senior who went to see this during some off periods in the middle of the day and reported the theater was FULL of women. How did we get here? I blame 300. Here is a quote from from firstshowing.net:

"For women, the entire movie is eye candy. For 2 hours you get to stare at the hottest guys with unbelievable 8-pack abs fighting tirelessly for their homeland wearing hardly any clothes. It's almost like "Guy's Gone Wild" (but, thank goodness, for the sake of men, it's not that bad). Even if you're not a big fan of Gerard Butler, you've got 299 others to choose from. I hope to see all you ladies out at the theaters this weekend! From what I've seen and what I've heard, these are pretty accurate and you'll be guaranteed a good time."

I'm sure studio execs love the idea of tapping the other 50% of the population to see their $200 million dollar movies. So this summer, we have the blond Norse Stud, effectively CGI naked Green Lantern and Captain Underwear Model (America). If I go see one of these movies with another guy, are we suddenly on a date?

Is there any hope? We have one Batman film left, which does not appear to pander to women the way some recent comic book films have. Next, Nolan will put his spin on The Man of Steel (I'm assuming fully clothed). But the door to the temple of comic book movies has been kicked in and chicks are overrunning the altar of man-movies.

If I were a Vegan in High School

This really does sound like the crap I used to listen to in HS. You have to stick with this for a few minutes to get the full effect!

Hawaiian Tourist

Eight days and a fierce ankle sunburn have brought our trip to the Hawaiian islands to a close. Here is a brief breakdown of the trip.

Friday – 3 connections to arrive at Oahu and scenic drive to the north to Turtle Bay, BYU Hawaii and the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). Constant Rain. Started temple session at 11:00 PM Denver time. Luckily we move from room to room, however I’m still nodding off toward the end. Best meal during the trip? The temple cafeteria. Pulled chicken and potato curry over rice with peas. May not sound special, but I kid you not… Perhaps atmosphere really is everything with food.

 

The PCC

Saturday – Mile swim in the pool during the monsoon. We intended to hit up the Hukilau Café for lunch as it was featured on Man vs. Food, but alas it is only open for breakfast. After cursing bitterly and spitting into the dust, we head over to the Laei Drive-In due to a good rating on Tripadvisor. It was grease upon grease. Totally disgusting. Fully lubed, we head over to look at the BYU Pineapple and then on to the PCC.

Polynesian Cultural Center – Upon pulling into the parking lot I realized this place is Disneyland but instead of Tomorrow Land and Frontier Land, you have areas for various island cultures such as Tonga, Samoa, Fiji, Hawaii, etc. Our BYU-P hosts take our “family” from village to village. It was an awesome day of throwing sticks at each other, swinging ceremonial balls and eating raw Poi. I especially loved the drum session in Tonga with audience participation and the Samoan presentation on how to harvest Coconuts. They actually had some kid book up a palm tree in a matter of 5 seconds. In an era full of litigation, I was pleased they had no safety harness or mats for this kid to fall on. Raw and authentic, just the way I like it. The Luau was great, aside from sharing it with 500 other guests and being herded through a buffet line. The raw Salmon was tasty and I loved the purple Poi based rolls. Of course the Kaluha pig roasted in the earth all day was perfectly moist and delicious.

I must say by the end of the Luau, I was pretty Poly’d out. But determined to get the full experience, we headed to the gift shop so we could pass an hour and attend the final event… HA – The Breath of Life. It was an amazing show, but our Denver clocks still registered 11:30 PM when the show started. After a host of dances blade throwing, Haka and 15 incredible fire dancers, I was done. But wait! We hung on long enough to rip a pearl out of the flesh of some poor oyster slave. We discarded its body and shell and proceeded back to Turtle Bay where I pulled the fork out of my abdomen and fell asleep.

Sunday – Happy Mother’s Day with no kids! After another hearty breakfast of oatmeal, we headed over to the chapel next to the Temple for Church. I have to say most Polynesians when they are stateside love to start a talk with “Brothers and Sisters, ALOHA!” (they then coach the audience to say ALOHA back – but its never enthusiastic enough). As the first speaker approached, I was prepared…

[Speaker] “Brothers and Sisters, aloha.”

[Congregation] aloha.

My heart sank. The vigor for a hearty ALOHA! reciprocation only appears to be necessary stateside. Back home, they only go through the motions so they don’t come off as fully hypocrites. Forcing me to sit back down, the Boss and I enjoyed the rest of the service being much edified by several musical numbers and colorful speakers.

Next we headed to Pearl Harbor. We took in the museums and the USS Arizona movie before taking a ferry to the memorial over the remains of the ship. Pretty sobering experience and my gratitude for those who served went up a couple of notches that day.

Week of 5/6-5/12 - Work conference. Being in the same place as last year felt like deja vu. On Thursday we got out on a catamaran and snorkeled for 2 hours. There was a family of 5 sea turtles that were amazing. But of course, I was unprepared with no underwater camera, so I have no proof. On Friday/Saturday we hit Front Street in Lahina and its 10,000 art galleries and ate at Cheeseburger in Paradise. - Yes, Kobe beef really is tasty. Especially when its wrapped in BACON.

I stopped crying long enough to take this photo

The flight home? I don't remember it because I hit two Unisom before the flight. It was good to get home. I missed the kids screaming at me and the good times we have together. May the spirit of ALHOA remain with you. Always.

Kid History

There are a bunch of these but this was my favorite. My face hurt I was laughing so much. ENJOY!!!



Is it just me or do these guys seem right out of Provo?

Better Marriage Blanket

While I'm on the kick of AWESOME commercials, check this out.

"The same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons." - AWESOME. Guess what the boss is going to get me for Christmas? Much less humiliating than that blasted nose hair trimmer - which I have never used.

But wait! - I'm not so sure this blanket is a marriage saver. It might even be a marriage destroyer. If I were a cruel husband, I could see this blanket being used as a WMD when the "covered wagons" come to town unexpectedly. (MWHAHAHAHAH!)

This begs the question, how long would I have to sleep on the couch if I employed this special blanket in a prank? Is it even forgivable? I previously posted on an article that said crimes of betrayal in the marraige bed are essentailly unforgivable. I think going covered wagons with this blanket qualifies. So women, consider the consequences before you rush out to the store to buy one of these for the man you unfortunately sleep next to.

Gator's Next Christmas

I would have killed for this as a kid.



Needless to say, if I can find one on Ebay, Gator will be thrilled next Christmas as we turn our yard into Swiss Cheese.

Movie Club: Limitless

Welcome back to my movie club of one. I just saw Limitless, a great origin film about a contemporary superhero with no tights, slogans or comic book affiliation. What is his power? The hero is given a drug called NZT which allows him to access 100% of his brain, rather than the 1%-10%  humans normally do. This allows him to remember every martial arts move in a fight or fact about the stock market when trading. The downside is coming off the high and becoming a drug addict. The movie has a good pace, some fun editing and Bradley Cooper does a great job as an addict. I heartily recommend the film. Now, I'll get into my rant after watching the movie. Spoilers ahead and you'll get completely lost if you are unfamiliar with LDS doctrine.

At the end of the movie, the smartest guy in the world goes into politics??? OK. That's not my real issue. At the end of the movie, the hero used his uber-brain to refine the drug and make it safe and non-addictive. I started wondering, if a pill like that was available, would I take it? Yes. I think I would. Then the Boss said, what if the Church said no? And I wondered, if the church said no, does that mean God want us to be stupid?

I believe the capacity to use our minds to the full extent is there, why do we not do it or have it? Is the test of choosing to love God and our fellowman, keeping the commandments and enduring to the end easier if we are dumb? If we have too much intellect would the trial of faith be too easy? Or perhaps it would be too difficult? Nephi says:

"O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish.

But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God."

From this, I get that being smart is a good thing, if you are obedient. So why not send everyone to Earth with 100% brain activity? Clearly the veil is meant to separate us from the vast majority of what we have in our minds. Think about it. We've existed for a very, very long time and probably have massive amounts of knowledge in there somewhere. Would 100% brain activity mean we could remember the pre-existence and make the test of mortality pointless? I think this may be the case. The veil allows us to see what's in our hearts, not our minds.

We came here to get bodies, which carry tremendous power. I like to think of life as a driving test to see what type of car we can be entrusted with. Consider cars described in D&C 88:28-32:

"They who are of a celestial spirit shall receive the same body which was a natural body; even ye shall receive your bodies, and your glory shall be that glory by which your bodies are quickened.

Ye who are quickened by a portion of the celestial glory shall then receive of the same, even a fulness.

And they who are quickened by a portion of the terrestrial glory shall then receive of the same, even a fulness.

And also they who are quickened by a portion of the telestial glory shall then receive of the same, even a fulness.

And they who remain shall also be quickened; nevertheless, they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received."

Is it possible that only the Celestial quickening brings 100% brain activity? Jesus continued from grace to grace until he received a fullness (D&C 93:12-17). His example on earth was not to go make a ton of cash or scientific discoveries. He was the superhero with 100% brain activity and he chose to focus on the worth of souls.

I'll admit, I walked out of that movie wishing I could learn a language in 1 day, create the food replicator or run around like Neo saying: "I know Kung-fu." But after thinking about it, all I need to do stay the course and help others along the way. One day I'll get the keys to that Celestial car and then it will be off to the races.

Olympic Oafing



Traditional Running

Since my back recently healed I returned to working out with Dave at World of Beautiful Bodies. He informed me the gauntlet had been thrown at him to complete an Olympic Triathlon - which consists of a consecutive:

• 0.93 mile swim
• 24.8 mile bike ride 
• 6.2 mile run

Some of you may remember I've done a few practice Spirit Triathlons which is the Olympic distance cut in half. Naturally I can't resist the challenge, so I broke out the Rocky music and started training. On Friday I took on the 1 mile swim in the pool and focused on limiting my use of legs to save them for the bike and run. Needless to say my upper body was on fire when I finished. Saturday morning I got up at 6AM, plotted out my six mile run and assaulted the course.

Or maybe the course assaulted me. If there is one thing I hate doing, its running. Most folks consider four general speeds or gears for bipedal human forward motion. Walking, jogging, running and sprinting. But during this run, I discovered I fit into a new classification:

• Sprinting
• Running
• Jogging
• Oafing - ME
• Walking



Oafing

What exactly is Oafing? Imagine you are driving down the street and see some uncoordinated, has-been dude over 200 lbs moving slowly down the sidewalk. He isn't walking, but the pace is too slow to be jogging. His face is beat red and a mask of determined agony. You wonder if he is in trouble or disturbed. Before dialing 911, you figure whatever this guy's problem is, he'll stop moving soon and you drive on past. That my friends is what its like to witness OAFING.

Yes, I oafed my way to six miles with no walking and the quest for Olympic Glory has begun. Of course, that will all change once I buy my multi-purpose speedo to wear throughout the race. Until next time, happy oafing to all.

Bizzaro Families

Upon learning this morning that the Gator would not be followed by another MANmal, STMadDog pointed out we now have Bizzaro families (2 girls 1 boy, 1 girl) vs. (2 boys, 1 girl, 1 boy). In honor of this amazing cosmic event, I now share the following Seinfeld Bizzaro clip, which is almost completely unrelated to our good news.



The question is: Who is the evil version of the family?

Rabbi Jimmer

Believe it or not, BYU plays Kosher basketball. This may sound odd since the university is owned by the LDS church, but true nonetheless.

Generally speaking, Kosher food is prepared under supervision of a qualified Rabbi. In the case of BYU basketball, coach Dave Rose has clearly declared each possession should be blessed by Rabbi Jimmer or it is not Kosher. Don't believe me? Watch the tape. The other four players on the floor look desperate to have Jimmer at least touch the ball once, if not give it right back to him after a pass on each possession. This actually became comical to me during the Gonzaga game and I started paying attention for non-Kosher possessions. 

I understand when you have the best player on the floor you want the ball in their hands, but on this team its religious obsession. Even for hard-core Mormons. I wonder if Dave Rose told some of the the players: "You see where Davies is sitting? I can make that happen in the blink of an eye if I catch you running non-Kosher plays out there." Clearly Jimmer has embraced his Rabbinic role, calling for the ball virtually every second its out of his hands. Heck the second he passes the ball, he's calling for it again. Yep, its that important to be Kosher.

And why not? With the Chuck Norris of Mormon basketball players at the helm, BYU has made it back to the Sweet 16 for the first time since 1981. You'd better believe in Kosher basketball and like it, because Kosher ball is FULL OF WIN. Just look at Jean Luc after watching the last game:

Award Acceptance - 7 Things

I just got my first ever award for blogging. (Stop laughing). In order to receive the award I must share 7 things about myself... that may not be true. Or are they?

1. I can speak better than butter without margarine. See: Psalms 55:21
2. My 7th Grade science teacher claimed we had Kip Winger's desk encased in glass in the basement of the school.
3. I've released two techno albums under the group known as Biscuits n Gravy.
4. Twice I have received thongs as gifts.
5. My teachers used to think I was disturbed because I'd doodle people with swords stuck in their mouths on my homework.
6. I've nearly been shot for carrying an Uzi with a ski mask on.
7. My first car accident was caused by a goose on a dirt road.

Yep, my horcrux now contains a bunch of seriously lame things about myself. However, I want an authentic horcrux, not one of those "I'm so cool" ones that gets stuck inside of my mortal enemy and betrays my every waking thought to this pathetic teenager who can't stop whining or comb his hair.

Did I mention "7" is the perfect magical number?

MWHAAHAHAHahahahaah... ah-ha.

Love Your Enemy

This is a funny take on what it means to love your enemy from Garrison Keillor, the man behind the News from Lake Woebegon... where the women are strong, the men are good looking and the children above average.

Garrison has a humorous take on a sermon by a female Lutheran Pastor in Lake Woebegon about loving your enemies. Matt 5:44

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."

 "This is a very troublesome, VERY TROUBLESOME verse and she (the Pastor) said, no its true and this was Jesus's commandment, we are to do this. Easy to love people who are nice to you, anyone can do that. But you to have to love those that have caused you pain, don't turn away from them. Love those who cause you pain....

[Garrison reports a mother hearing the sermon calls her daughter who has been living with a bunch of losers in the city doing drugs, homeless, novelists, etc. caused this mother a lot of pain and comes to the following realization]

"Oh why oh why does she live with these losers? And then it dawned on her, maybe this is a form of loving your enemy? Living with somebody...Maybe that's all marriage is - loving your enemy. You need to be loved so you snuggle up close to somebody for a few years and gradually over time they get to see the worst of you and you get to see the worst of them. They know your worst points better than you worst enemies do. They've seen how cruel and how small minded you can be and how silly and inconsequential you may be and they know all the worst things and there you are...lying next to them. You're lying next to this intimate enemy of yourself. Your worst critic right there in bed with you. Maybe that's what love is."

I recommend if you really want to catch the humor (the guy's voice is very unique), listen here:

Red Box Etiquette - For the Next Generation

I freely admit when it comes to etiquette, I am an unrefined man. In fact, I looked up the Webster definition before writing this post to be safe.

et·i·quette, noun \ˈe-ti-kət, -ˌket\ : the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life

Clearly this definition is no longer PC. However, by the world's standards, I'm a serious breeder so I'm now qualified to lecture on Red Box Etiquette.

Thanks to the local Blockbuster and Hollywood Video closing their doors, the only way for me to rent movies is via mail (Netflix or Blockbuster), instant (Netflix) or kiosk (Red Box, Blockbuster, etc.). If you want to rent something on the spur of the moment, the kiosk is now the new video store.

So last night the Boss reserved a copy of "Life as We Know it" and I drove out to the store to pick it up and met with a situation that may be familiar to many of you. An indecisive couple was ahead of me and just stood there for about 3-5 minutes debating each title and browsing the menu, starting over several times. No one was behind me, so I left, did some shopping, came back... and they were still there. Being of good breeding, I didn't chastise them, but still waited a couple more minutes before they gave up and walked away. Setting aside my contempt, I displayed my higher breeding to the people behind me by executing a 30 second transaction thanks to my online reservation and left in an indignant huff.

As I drove home I realized the new era of video rentals needs some rules to be established. Gone are the days of spending 30 minutes picking out a movie in a store. All of my rules below stem from actual experience. In doing this, I fancy myself as Jean Luc Picard, a man of impeccable etiquette, bolding setting a code of conduct for the video rental kiosk in the Next Generation. (It helps if you imagine his voice reading the following): 

1. Realize this is the information age and everyone is "supposedly" in a hurry. In other words, be respectful of other people's time. This is OLD SCHOOL etiquette that confers great personal satisfaction to one's self and close society.  
2. To further prove your good breeding, be respectful and keep your trip to the kiosk under two minutes. 
1. To achieve this, reserve the movie online before going OR have your choices narrowed down to 2 or 3 titles so selection is economical and a pleasure to behold from the line.
3. When it is your turn at the kiosk, you should be off the cell phone and busy closing the transaction. It is rude to stand there leisurely chatting about selection or some other unrelated fried froth. Gentle smiles always follow a disciplined mobile user.   
4. Circle of Comfort - How would you feel if someone followed you around the video store looking over your shoulder at every title considered? I might slap them for such rude behavior. So why is this permitted at the kiosk? I've literally had people about a foot away staring at my entire rental process. Simple rule: When waiting your turn, give the renter 3 feet of space or remain well outside of arm's reach. If I could, I'd paint a "red box" around the rental area and hire a disgruntled DMV employee to tell people to stand behind the line. 
5. If you exceed the two minute limit, ask if the person behind you would like a turn while you use a life line to call for advice on title selection. This is a great courtesy to those simply wanting to return a rental. Your place in the upper realm of high breeding will be secure.

I'm confident if we all commit to this bold new code our own sense of self-actualization will increase by 2.3% and firmly place us on the path to discovering the DVD replicator. Then with the full weight of my pedigree I can proclaim: Movie, Ferris Buller's Day Off... Make it so!

For more fun with Etiquette, visit Etiquette Hell: http://www.etiquettehell.com/

Kill the Boy & Chocolate Cake

Best stuff ever from Bill Cosby. Parents will enjoy or they have no soul.



Being a hard core chocolate lover and a lazy cook for my kids, I epically got a kick out of this one.

Deep or Painful?

I want your vote on the following clip. Is it deep and inightful or just painfully depressing?



Often I feel like I'm the Tree and the boy is Corporate America. It will kill me and I will be happy.

This video also reminds me of my mother who literally would cut her arms off for me and be happy about it. Love you mom.

Honor & Jimmer Worship

Time to weigh in on the Davies fiasco at BYU this year. I'm proud of my Alma Mater for upholding its standards and showing the world honor is more important than winning. But I'm sick of hearing about how it has generated positive media attention about the church and BYU. This publicity is a nice concession prize for a lost season, but at what price?

BYU was arguably having its best basketball season ever with perhaps the Player of the Year (equivalent to the Heisman in Football) in Jimmer Fredette. Publicity for the church? I've often heard one the main reasons BYU athletics exist is for a missionary tool. Let me emphasize the ATHLETICS, not the honor code. Of course the money is huge to a school subsidized by tithing but that's a different topic. I'm pretty confident we would have gotten a ton of favorable press had the team made it to the Final Four. There would be discussion of the honor code and how remarkable it is that these players uphold it. People still talk about Danny Ainge and our Sweet 16 run, back in the day. This could have generated positive discussions for years. The worth of souls is great in the sight of God. I'd like to think the Lord would much prefer the exposure from winning than honor code violations.

We learn from Alma 32 that the Lord will have a humble people. I daresay, the hype surrounding Jimmer this year could be the biggest dearth of humility the basketball fans have ever displayed. I really have enjoyed the websites, etc. How often does the whitest school in America get to say they may have the best basketball player in the country? But perhaps it got out of hand. Here are some websites to enjoy and see how we lost our humility:

http://www.jimmerpoy.com/
"When prisoners need a beat down, they bring in The Jimmer."

http://goodmenproject.com/sports-2/good-men-picks-jimmer-or-san-diego-state/
"Jimmer worship should replace Scientology as the new, trendy “it” religion … if it hasn’t already."

http://dreamcatchermedia.com/jimmered
This is the infamous facebook thread where a female student gets "Jimmered." Hilarious stuff. Highlights on the right.

The facebook thread shows Jimmer becoming the Chuck Norris of Mormons. I'll admit, I love these jokes, but they don't scream humility. Is God punishing BYU fans for a lack of humility and some sacrilegious jokes?

Absolutely not. All of this stems from some poor choices. Is there a silver lining with good publicity about the honor code? Sure, but it came at a very high price. My heart goes out to Davies and his family. Hopefully he can pick things up and be better tomorrow. Hopefully folks in Provo and fans will be willing to support him on that journey rather than ostracize him. That is the spirit of the honor code and a success story I'd love to hear about, but I doubt it will get much media attention.

Frozen Wasteland

There isn't much to North Dakota. I'm not trying to make fun of it, but in the winter its a frozen wasteland. Naturally, I wound up going there for some work. The one thing this area has going for it is the gas industry, which requires a ton of transient labor. Where do all these guys live? In motels. As a result, when I went to book a hotel in the area, I found that every hotel in western North Dakota was booked. I wound up driving 2 hrs. to Glendive MT for a room and then 2 hrs back to Williston to do the inspection.

Hard Earned Photo

During the drive I listened to a bunch of the BS report and Freakonomics radio. I have to plug Freakonomics radio as one of my favorite podcasts. Very interesting takes on every day topics such as pain, risk, faking it, big cities, Pandora's impact on education and the NFL lockout. The BS report focused on the Oscar results and Bill Simmons advanced a theory that all awards should be given out 5 years after the performance. This is similar to how we judge players for the hall of fame in sports. Under his theory, most of the snubs over the years would have been corrected. And I completely agree the Social Network got HOSED. Probably my favorite film in 2010. At least it won Best Score, which I previously praised in an old post.

Onto my drama in the snow. Once I got to the site, I was limited in my ability to walk the property due to the snow and the roads were covered in drifts. I figured I could get past a few in my rental, but got stuck. I'm sure the Gator would have been very happy to say: "Uh-oh!!" Panic started to set in. I'm basically trespassing on someones land, stuck in the snow and about to miss a non-refundable flight and may have to drive another 2 hours to get back to a motel with vacancy. After 10 minutes of going back and forth and only minor swearing, I got out of the car in my dress shoes and slacks and started to dig out with my bare hands. Just before going numb, I quit and could feel just a bit more traction. Time for one last desperate attempt. I dropped the hammer and floored it and praise the Lord, got out of that drift. A great example of God's goodness to me when I am such an undeserving creature, but I guess there are points in heaven for those who brave the Frozen Wasteland.

DENVER = WINTER & SNOW DONE RIGHT.