Friday, December 18, 2015

Finally - The Force Awakens

Opening Night at the Force Awakens can best be summed up by the eloquent Captain Picard:










Just never enough Star Wars. Until next time!

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Tolerance Unto Death

When I heard the news about the attacks in Paris yesterday I was intially shocked, saddened and then not long after filled with cold anger. It reminds me of the same feelings I had after 9/11.


We've know about these fanatics for years, but have drug out this conflict for far too long. I'm tired of seeing the world's best trained and equipped soldiers reduced to beat cops serving as targets for terrorists. The horror of Paris yesterday proves terror is a moment away for anyone in the US or Euorpe. Enough is enough. I want unilateral action from NATO; go into these countries, not to occupy but perform a much needed surgery.
"And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." - Matt 5:30
This isn't just about Paris either. While the number of deaths in the coordinated Paris attacks is very high (averages between 3-8 deaths per attack) Unfortunatly, its a relatively small incident statistically. No Joke, I went and compiled this data from the US Department of State.


  http://www.state.gov/j/ct/rls/crt/index.htm


Bear in mind, this data only goes back 7 years, does not include 2015 (not yet available) and much of the Iraq War. Nearly 150,000 deaths. A quarter of a million people wounded... better put maimed, disfugured, tortured. But numbers don't give the full picture. Check out this website to see a list of every attack and a brief summary of the suffering of God's childern, (our brothers and sisters) so far in 2015.

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/attacks-2015.htm

I know this site looks like some crazy right wing propaganda, but I checked the numbers and their data checks out. They report 32,007 deaths in 2014, the US Department of State shows 32,727. Both the site above and the USDS make the disclaimer that their numbers are conservative as reporting on incidents in many of these regions is not always complete.

For some perspective, the US lost 116,516 in WWI and 58,209 in Vietnam. While the comparison is between American Military deaths and world-wide numbers; should it matter? The world is shrinking. Travel, immigration and technology make all of us more connected than ever before and the terrorists know no borders.

Ever since 9/11 I've wondered when we might see an attack like what happened in Paris here in the States. When will I worry about going to the mall or an NFL game? The day seems to have come. As I said before, we need to unilatterally go into these countries with all nations willing to fight and show these punks their hypocritical and sadistic ideals will not be tolerated. Time to let the sheepdogs do their job, without the shackles.


If you've seen this film, you'll understand the bumpersticker: God bless our troops...especially our snipers. I grateful for men like Chris Kyle that sacrified not only for the safety of my family; but for the hope of a better life for those in the Middle East... espeically women and childern. In laying down their lives willingly they emulate the Jesus Christ. But what about turning the other cheek?  A post on the Cripplegate gives five resons why Christians are not pacifists. I found the following quote spot on:
"Christians are to bear the sword because we love our neighbors. There is a hierarchy of love. We love God. We love our wives, followed by our families. We love our church. We love our neighbors. We love our enemies. But if our enemy attacks our neighbor, it is our duty (out of love for our neighbor) to intervene and protect innocent life."  Are Christians called to pacifism? 
From an LDS perspective the War Chapeters in the Book of Mormon also support and show men of God taking up arms in the defence of their families and those who cannot defend themselves.




In his excellent book Wild at Heart, John Eldredge says the following about why God made men the way they are.
"Capes and swords, camouflage, bandannas and six-shooters—these are the uniforms of boyhood. Little boys yearn to know they are powerful, they are dangerous, they are someone to be reckoned w ith. How many parents have tried in vain to prevent little Timmy from playing w ith guns? Give it up. If
Onward Christian Soldiers
you do not supply a boy w ith weapons, he will make them from w hatever materials are at hand. My boys chew their graham crackers into the shape of hand guns at the breakfast table. Every stick or fallen branch is a spear, or better, a bazooka. Despite what many modern educators would say, this is not a psychological disturbance brought on by violent television or chemical imbalance. Aggression is part of the masculine design; we are hard wired for it. If we believe that man is made in the image of God, then we would do well to remember that “the LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name” (Ex. 15:3) ... The universal nature of this ought to have convinced us by now: The boy is a warrior; the boy is his name. And those are not boyish antics he is doing. When boys play at war they are rehearsing their part in a much bigger drama. One day, you just might need that boy to defend you. Those Union soldiers who charged the stone walls at Bloody Angle; the Allied troops that hit the beaches at Normandy or the sands of Iwo Jima— what would they have done without this deep part of their heart? Life needs a man to be fierce—and fiercely devoted. The wounds he will take throughout his life will cause him to lose heart if all he has been trained to be is soft."
I get it that truly going after these scum-bags would be costly in terms of the economy and lives. But if we are going to keep up the world's best military; and make it a signifcant part of our economy, we may as well use it to defeat a blantantly evil enemy. Perhaps I'm just fired up today, but I will be paying attention in the elections to come for those who support the defeat of these murderers. 

Saturday, October 31, 2015

The Truth of Star Wars Mania

The Star Wars bandwagon is rolling through town and we are on it. No shame, no apologies. Every man, woman and child. The ultimate apex of cross generational zeitgeist cool-aid. I'm not just drinking it, I'm taking a bath in it. Heck, I filled my hot tub with it and all I know are stewing in it while we drink it. Drunk and Soaking in Star Wars.


We all know the Force Awakens is completely overblown; over-hyped and over-sold. And yet, I've practically browned-out after each new trailer. At Disneyland this last week, I swear 1/3 of all t-shirts were Star Wars related, many of them quite clever. But why are we so geeked-out for something that can't possibly deliver? I have a couple of theories:
  • People love a come-back story
  • Lightsabers are awesome no matter the design
  • Being on the bandwagon gives a sense of community and belonging
  • Subconscious desperate need to escape the drudgery of life through sci-fi fantasy
But here is the real reason:
  • Redemption
George Lucas has opined the six canonical films are "Anakin's" story. A gifted young man who became corrupted and then ruined everything. It took a brutal force lightning torture session of his son to wake him up and sacrifice himself to save his son, his soul and the galaxy.


     Luke: I'll not leave you here I've got to save you!
     Anakin: You already have Luke. You were right. You were right about me.    

Oscar Wilde would be so pleased to see "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."

You could say a $4 Billion dollar sale is nothing compared to being fried by lighting and then blown up. But whatever. I'll take it. I can now forgive George and move on; appreciating all the good he did, buy tons of merchandise and go to Star Wars themed lands at Disney. Even if the Force Awakens sucks, it can't be worse than the prequels and George has redeemed himself. Let's celebrate with the original ROTJ Ewok celebration song and buy some swag!

Sunday, October 04, 2015

Too Much Chic-Fil-A?

I have two kids that are in the process of balancing their brains. The "scientists" told us to give our children's blood to a witch doctor to test for food allergies. THE GUT IS CONNECTED TO THE BRAIN... So no Gluten, Dairy, Sugar, Oxygen, whatever. If we have to eat out, the two options these kids accept would be grilled nuggets and fries at Chic-fil-A or a burrito bowl at Chipotle (minus the dairy). Since eating a burrito bowl requires effort and getting out of your car, I often opt for the first. 

Strange things are afoot at the Chic-fil-A
Like the guy in Super Size Me, I have not gotten sick of this food despite repeated trips to both establishments. Heck, I'm even getting experimental. I tried adding bacon to the original Chic-fil-A sandwich. That should result in a transcendent experience right? It was good, but didn't seem like an improvement. 

Yeah, I was as surprised as our friend Ted Theodore Logan. Does this mean bacon is not the magical food of lore? Or does it mean the Original Chic-fil-A sandwich is such a work of perfection that adding bacon cannot improve it? Infinity awesome + Infinity awesome still equals = FLAT OUT AWESOME. Or Infinity Awesome just said another way. 

So this post got me wondering... How much money has my family spent at Chic-fil-A? It seems like we are there a lot, but not that much right? Besides you can never have too much of a good thing.. Right??? So I decided to hop on Mint and see what my spending history has been and now I share it with you:

WAIT, SO WHAT?? EVERYONE LOVES CHIC-FIL-A!!!




Yeah. That was my reaction too. Good thing those guys are not open on Sunday.


Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Jimmer vs. #ThugMormon

Back in 2011 Jimmer Fredette was TORCHING the NCAA scene with his sick ability to shoot from anywhere on the court and get away with average speed on defense. In the midst of all the hype about Jimmer, one woman sought to complain in the Daily Universe (BYU student newspaper). Once people found out, they assaulted her Facebook wall with this epic thread which you must read:

http://www.dreamcatchermedia.com/jimmered.html

My personal favorite section due to the partially-hydrogenated comment:


But has this been eclipsed by the #ThugMormon craze in the event of the BYU football team turning Catholic with two back-to-back Hail Mary victories?

The Daily Unifarce reported:
Just days before the BYU vs. Nebraska football game, Nebraskan on-air personality Mike Welch lashed out against BYU, labeling the football team with the hashtag #ThugMormon. The phrase was intended to highlight the hypocrisy of the BYU Honor Code and the player brawl that broke out during the Miami Beach Bowl on Dec. 14, 2014. Ironically, #ThugMormon took over the Twitter-sphere. It at one point became the No. 1 trending hashtag in the Salt Lake area but not for the reason Welch intended.
Here are some of my favorite tweets.









So which is the better social media event? I'm gonna side with #ThugMormon. Jimmer was fun, but he's basically done in terms of a meaningful pro career. Each and every one of us can and SHOULD continue the tradition of being ThugMormons. My moments since I don't do twitter:







Monday, September 07, 2015

Making the Shift

Recently Dr. Wayne Dyer, a notable motivational speaker and writer passed away. The only work of his that I'm familiar with is Making the Shift - a book about moving from a life driven by ambition to one of meaning.

Yesterday, I had the unique experience of teaching the same lesson back-to-back in both my Sunday School class (16-18 year olds) and Elders Quorum (thank to the teacher going MIA). It came from the lesson outline, How do the commandments help me learn to be more like Heavenly Father?  I found myself inspired to teach a lesson about why we keep the commandments that I don't think I would have heard as a youth 20 years ago. Instead of talking about the rules themselves and the peace, protection and power they give to do the Lord's work (ambition); I focused on how they give us access to the Atonement to change our natures. What manner of men ought ye to be? Even as I am. Yesterday's experiences have further led me to believe the Church (the people/culture) are making a shift from a spiritual life driven by ambition to one of meaning.

Alright, put your pitchforks away! Hear me out. I am not saying the doctrine has been incorrect or that the ordinances, covenants and commandments have not been the work of the Lord. I am saying we are appropriately adapting how we teach the Gospel and ultimately how we live it for true conversion in the Last Days. Motivated by charity, not hope of reward, duty, fellowship, fear of punishment, shame or plain ol "that just what we do in this family." That's the whole point of the new Come Follow Me curriculum.


For much of my life as a member, the Gospel has been a very goal oriented, check-list lifestyle in order for me to feel accepted, worthy and loved. I freely admit I felt proud of the growth and expansion of the Church and desired to help it fill the earth. It made me feel important. I was saved for the last days to serve a mission and fight Satan and help build the kingdom. Or as Elder Taylor would say, THE KINGDOM OF GOD OR NOTHING!! Marry a woman that personifies both outward and inward beauty; raise humble, righteous children with keen intellects and Gryffindor hearts and change the lives of all around us. Through all my study, prayer, service and attendance I was going to change the world. Its what I was born to do. Army of Helaman! Here are some pictures that embody stuff that inspired me in younger days:

Welcome to the Gun Show! You don't stand a chance.

Righteous Biceps - No wonder he survived the battle. 
#ThugMormon
Nothing inherently wrong with all of that, but I let my sense of self-worth get tied up in my works. Without realizing it, I created a spiritual bank account that I made deposits in, but all my unworthiness seemed to draw off more that I put in. As a result, I've spent most of my life struggling to overcome feelings of depression, shame and guilt over never being the true Stripling Warrior. Only as good as your last mistake. As a result, I was often genuinely unhappy, but soldiering on making sarcastic comments and embracing dark humor. It would all work out in the end right?

I now understand this is not the heart of the Gospel and one of the hardest things to do is let go of being the ideal mold member. Here is a video Mormons can relate to:


A funny but painful line: How did this tradition get started? I don't know. But you'd better comply or no driver's license, marriage to my daughter or welcome under my roof! 

And while we may not know the meaning of all things, I know God loves his children. Even me and especially when I'm not a model citizen. Tevia breaks tradition twice, but the third he cannot allow. We need the commandments, covenants and power of the Atonement to keep our balance on the roof of life, not all of the answers are clear and easy. The world looks at us and thinks we are crazy! They love to mock high standards point the finger and scorn those who fail to live their religion perfectly (as if anyone ever has). The world would have us believe that striving to be like Jesus is to eventually become a hypocrite. The unforgivable sin in the age of universal tolerance. So why try? Easier to sit back and Armchair Quarterback everyone else's problems. But Teddy sets us straight:


In Lehi's vision of the tree of Life; those who make it to the Tree of Life wind up falling on their faces. Why should I expect anything different? Others may say I look stupid and I'm wasting my time, my money, my life. But they haven't tasted the fruit; or they've been unwilling to humble themselves and keep striving despite repeated sins and shortcomings.

But our sweat in the arena is not what truly qualifies us (grace), it is what helps refines us (works) as God will force no one to inherit all He has. What ultimately got King Saul removed from his station? He took the Priesthood (offering a sacrifice to win victory over the Philistines) or the responsibility of salvation upon himself.

1 Samuel 15:22 - And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. 

By sacrifice, I mean taking the work upon us. Putting our trust in the arm of flesh not God. Steadying the ark (not a good idea). Believing we are going to outwork our problems... our sins. Works cannot hide or cover mistakes on an eternal scale. Sooner or later, we have to accept its God's work, not ours. Sins of commission and omission can be repented,  forgiven and remembered no more. But what God will not do is force us to desire to be like him. When we give up, that is the ultimate loss. Perhaps that is why enduring to the end is ultimate opportunity to shift from living for selfish, ambitious motives to charitable ones. I believe this is going to be the only way anyone weathers the storm of the Last Days - especially me if you can't tell.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

The Temple, Marriage & Kids

Lately, this topic has been pressing on me. The world is rapidly changing, not just on the issue of same sex marriage, but we seem to have soured on marriage, monogamy and having kids altogether. I will freely admit, I've taken a great deal of pleasure in joking about these subjects and do feel somewhat guilty. I know its not all bad as humor is some of the best and most powerful catharsis for dealing with stress, but what I'd like to share this morning is crucial.

Last week during EQ, the instructor challenged us to take something from the lesson and make a note, send an email or text... ANYTHING to get us to apply what we were learning. Here is what I texted my wife (aka the Boss) on the fly and I believe by inspiration.

9. As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit.

https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-15-the-sacred-callings-of-fathers-and-mothers?lang=eng

Next, while pondering my Sunday school lesson "How can I explain the importance of marriage and family to others?" I noticed the new September Ensign had showed up and the following article was referenced on the cover:

The Temple and the Natural Order of Marriage - by Elder Bruce C. Hafen

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/09/the-temple-and-the-natural-order-of-marriage?lang=eng

Needless to say, it caught my attention. I will admit that sometimes I get bored with gospel study, talks and articles. I know that repetition is God's way of letting me know about critical messages and I feel the spirit when I study, ponder and pray. But this talk was a genuine feast of learning for me. I'm not going to elaborate on it. I'll leave that between you and the Spirit. But I cannot recommend it enough as the winds of change blow in our society today (Eph 4:14). I know that what Elder Hafen taught is true and is a timely message from God. I am going to be better about my joking regarding marriage and children. They are everything to me and ultimately a symbol of my testimony of Jesus Christ. Here is the full talk given at J. Ruben Law School if you are intereted.

http://jrcls.org/clark_memo/sections/f14/CMF14_Hafen.pdf

Sunday, August 09, 2015

My Wife DESTROYS Hanging Lake

Flashing my wedding ring to show people my celebratory mood. 
Recently, my wife has become quite the running enthusiast. She has lots of nifty outfits, a belt with water and tons of supplements that I've never seen before. As a general rule, we almost never exercise together. So I was unprepared for her demonstration of fitness during our 16th anniversary retreat in the Mountains.

I set a brisk pace knowing she is now a champion of cardiovascular activity and didn't want to bore her. This is a popular hike and the trail is packed. So during a stop due to the line, I encouraged her to just run to the top thinking she would politely decline in a grandiose show of humility or admit that would be ludicrous. I was wrong. She took off at an unimaginable pace up the steep trail and I didn't see her until I reached the top despite my best efforts go as fast as I could.

Needless to say, she was appropriately smug when I rounded the corner panting and wheezing. My husbandly swagger took a considerable blow. I was starting to get nervous about her finding me pathetic so I decided to show her my best stuff at the waterfall.

I'm a maniac, MANIAC!! 
We also fawned over some rodent on the trail. There are gratuitous videos of this critter in the link below.

Doomed. 
I also ran down the trail in a fit of stupidity to show I could at least win one leg of the hike. Good thing I didn't kill myself. Here are some shots of my hike on the Rim Trail in Snowmass Village for posterity.

Snowmass Village from the Crest of the Rim Trail. 

My old man would have loved this. 
Here is the rest of the hike and my excursion on the Rim Trail in Snowmass Village.

https://goo.gl/photos/aYSfsxrdyfLkg8af6

Mt. Rushmore & Ice Cream?

The fam and I decided to assault Mt. Rushmore due to some work I had going on in Gillette WY. I've always wondered if it was worth the trip. Based on what we saw... I'd say probably not. BUT... If you did some camping and soaked in all of the surrounding sites and attractions, yes.


I had no idea this place was so big on Thomas Jefferson and his ice cream recipe, but shoot... it sure got me to drop $20. See the photo in the album for marketing campaign.

https://goo.gl/photos/vFqcpTxA9UNbZLVLA

Saturday, August 08, 2015

Mario Maker & DUNGEON MASTER

"True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

"God used beautiful mathematics in creating the world." - Paul Dirac


Hello friends. Yesterday I saw something that looked genuinly interesting for the Wii U - Mario Maker. http://supermariomaker.nintendo.com/#/home


I like Mario, but I've always preferred Zelda. There are a host of people who think so as well and are pining for a similar concept for that franchise. Metroid? The possibilities are vast. Of course, some smart people have already figured this stuff out for Zelda. Check it:


Yeah. We'll see how long before that site is shut down. But it sure sounds cool. 


 Until next time folks. Happy creating and Shigeru Miyamoto (宮本 茂) bless.

Sunday, August 02, 2015

Dead Man Walking

On Friday, I entertained two Elders from the Mormon Church of the Saints of the Last Days who were about to die.

In Missionary lingo, we refer to going home at the end of our two years as "dying." We also refer to the companion we had at the time as "the one who killed me." See  this prior post for an example of this usage. http://fletchword.blogspot.com/2014/08/circle-of-reign.html


Typically, we have minimal advice for actual dead men walking other than deathbed repentance. However when a missionary is "dying" their life is just getting started. If I could go back and give some words of wisdom to myself and these two Elders here are some key points:

  • Fundamentals: Continue to study your scriptures, pray sincerely, attend church, temple and magnify your callings. Follow the Prophet. Hard to be led astray when these things are part of your life. 
  • Mission Goggles: This is a real thing. When you get home and especially if you are going to Mecca (Provo), practically every girl you see is going to look like a super-model. This is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Give yourself six months before seriously dating anyone. You need some time to re-adjust and it will make you less creepy to most women. Trust me, ask any woman who has been single in this environment and they will confirm. 
  • Career: You probably still don't know exactly what you are going to do with yourself. Don't stress. Finding yourself in your 20s is The American Way. You've started finding yourself by serving the Lord. Now build on that and don't be afraid to pursue what you are truly interested in. Continue becoming your best self and the right career will find you. 
  • Porn: Yeah, I said that. Its a challenge before and after your mission. Getting married doesn't make it much easier either as the taboo of sex "seems" to have been lifted. Understanding the Atonement and keeping no secrets is critical. If you can't have a frank discussion about this topic and how its impacted you with your parents/Bishop or especially your fiancee (near the time of proposal or before) then I would say that is a bad sign and get help. Like it or not, this is something that shapes our culture and views about sexuality and cannot be ignored. Walking in the light and in the open can be painful at times. But this is better than suffering in the shadows and hurting those around you. 
  • Marriage: I came home with the goal of being a bachelor until 25. Naturally, I wound up married almost one year to the day after I got home. 
    • Those who want to get married and pursue it like a career often wind up single into their late 20s and 30s. 
    • Don't sweat marriage, have fun and focus on school/career and you'll be sealed before you can say "I wanted her to be an 8 cow woman." 
  • Don't Rush: Life is a journey, not a destination. Its okay to live in a crummy apartment with no money and shop at thrift stores. In fact it will teach you humility and give you an appreciation of things later in life. You also don't have to get married and have 5 kids under the age of 8 and make 200K+ per year. This is just keeping up with the world and is not a path to happiness. Do things for the right reasons. Charity. What kid want to say I'm here so my parents could feel less guilty? Your spouse and kids will thank you for being motivated by Love and not the Jones. 
  • Keep Serving: When I got back, one of the hardest things for me was transitioning from a life of 24/7 service to what seemed like a very selfish life. School, marriage, kids, career, it all seemed so self-centered. But I've learned over the years that helping others be happy along the way has been one of the keys to happiness. Yes, it will be different; but think of it as serving on a more personal level, without any pretext or obligation. 
  • Faith is a Choice: Nothing will ever be perfectly explained and your testimony may come under fire. As Elder Holland says, 
    • "...hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes...In this Church, what we know will always trump what we do not know. And remember, in this world, everyone is to walk by faith...So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women." 
    • https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng
Well, that's about all your Sesame Street attention spans can handle. Good luck and enjoy the ride!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Trifecta Hemp Brownies

I've been infuriated with the legalization of Marijuana in Colorado. Its all anyone from out-of-state wants to talk about; both professionally and personally. And almost no one I know is even remotely into it! 

We used to be known for the Rocky Mountains, Denver Broncos, 14ers, world class ski resorts such as Aspen and Vail, healthy citizens, a terrible basketball team and a well educated workforce with a diverse economy. The Shining Capital of the Rocky Mountains. Now we are just the capital of Weed, Pot and Smoke. Pathetic. I can't wait for other states to legalize so we can get back to being known for things that truly make this state one of the best places to live in the world. (Not to mention the pending headquarters of the NWO after the Illuminati destroy the planet). 


I hate you Doctor Evil!! So what can I do? Ere, I may stretch forth my puny arm to halt the mighty Colorado River from its decreed course. So I shall embrace the change in my own special way: TRIFECTA BROWNIES. My own spin on "edibles" in the state of weed. 

I do this to honor my Mother who has venerated the virtues of Hemp Seed over the years. To make a full Trifecta, I have also included Coconut Oil and Ionized Water. The rest is the triple chocolate mix from Ghirardelli via Costco.

A moment of enlightenment as I embrace change - the only constant in life.
Full disclosure, I didn't have any actual ionized water, so I just nuked some water before putting it in the mix. You get the idea. Personally, I think they turned out delicious. I guess just about anything Colorado tastes good to me. 

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Thundering Three Year-olds

I have an ax to grind with my chapel. In the 90s when it was constructed some ill-informed architect decided to build with a sub-floor and not on a concrete slab. Doesn't SOUND like a big deal does it? Until your 3 year old daughter who weighs about 35-lbs soaking wet can run down the hallway and it sounds like this:


HONESTLY. What is the blazes of all the saints and pioneer patrons were they thinking? It almost couldn't be louder if they tried. This is my reaction every time my kids get loose in the building:


In honor of  the impending Pioneer Day and the era when a Bishop could apply tithing funds to... whatever, I DEMAND THEY TAKE WHATEVER THEY NEED FROM MY TITHING TO PUT SOME BLASTED INSULATION IN THE SUB-FLOORING. 

I'm fairly certain this can be done.

http://learn.builddirect.com/home-improvement-info/sound-transmission/

Upon completion I'll be able to take my unruly children to the foyer and it will actually be quiet for those in the chapel. My plea tonight to any leader able to make a difference: