Hawaiian Tourist

Eight days and a fierce ankle sunburn have brought our trip to the Hawaiian islands to a close. Here is a brief breakdown of the trip.

Friday – 3 connections to arrive at Oahu and scenic drive to the north to Turtle Bay, BYU Hawaii and the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). Constant Rain. Started temple session at 11:00 PM Denver time. Luckily we move from room to room, however I’m still nodding off toward the end. Best meal during the trip? The temple cafeteria. Pulled chicken and potato curry over rice with peas. May not sound special, but I kid you not… Perhaps atmosphere really is everything with food.

 

The PCC

Saturday – Mile swim in the pool during the monsoon. We intended to hit up the Hukilau Café for lunch as it was featured on Man vs. Food, but alas it is only open for breakfast. After cursing bitterly and spitting into the dust, we head over to the Laei Drive-In due to a good rating on Tripadvisor. It was grease upon grease. Totally disgusting. Fully lubed, we head over to look at the BYU Pineapple and then on to the PCC.

Polynesian Cultural Center – Upon pulling into the parking lot I realized this place is Disneyland but instead of Tomorrow Land and Frontier Land, you have areas for various island cultures such as Tonga, Samoa, Fiji, Hawaii, etc. Our BYU-P hosts take our “family” from village to village. It was an awesome day of throwing sticks at each other, swinging ceremonial balls and eating raw Poi. I especially loved the drum session in Tonga with audience participation and the Samoan presentation on how to harvest Coconuts. They actually had some kid book up a palm tree in a matter of 5 seconds. In an era full of litigation, I was pleased they had no safety harness or mats for this kid to fall on. Raw and authentic, just the way I like it. The Luau was great, aside from sharing it with 500 other guests and being herded through a buffet line. The raw Salmon was tasty and I loved the purple Poi based rolls. Of course the Kaluha pig roasted in the earth all day was perfectly moist and delicious.

I must say by the end of the Luau, I was pretty Poly’d out. But determined to get the full experience, we headed to the gift shop so we could pass an hour and attend the final event… HA – The Breath of Life. It was an amazing show, but our Denver clocks still registered 11:30 PM when the show started. After a host of dances blade throwing, Haka and 15 incredible fire dancers, I was done. But wait! We hung on long enough to rip a pearl out of the flesh of some poor oyster slave. We discarded its body and shell and proceeded back to Turtle Bay where I pulled the fork out of my abdomen and fell asleep.

Sunday – Happy Mother’s Day with no kids! After another hearty breakfast of oatmeal, we headed over to the chapel next to the Temple for Church. I have to say most Polynesians when they are stateside love to start a talk with “Brothers and Sisters, ALOHA!” (they then coach the audience to say ALOHA back – but its never enthusiastic enough). As the first speaker approached, I was prepared…

[Speaker] “Brothers and Sisters, aloha.”

[Congregation] aloha.

My heart sank. The vigor for a hearty ALOHA! reciprocation only appears to be necessary stateside. Back home, they only go through the motions so they don’t come off as fully hypocrites. Forcing me to sit back down, the Boss and I enjoyed the rest of the service being much edified by several musical numbers and colorful speakers.

Next we headed to Pearl Harbor. We took in the museums and the USS Arizona movie before taking a ferry to the memorial over the remains of the ship. Pretty sobering experience and my gratitude for those who served went up a couple of notches that day.

Week of 5/6-5/12 - Work conference. Being in the same place as last year felt like deja vu. On Thursday we got out on a catamaran and snorkeled for 2 hours. There was a family of 5 sea turtles that were amazing. But of course, I was unprepared with no underwater camera, so I have no proof. On Friday/Saturday we hit Front Street in Lahina and its 10,000 art galleries and ate at Cheeseburger in Paradise. - Yes, Kobe beef really is tasty. Especially when its wrapped in BACON.

I stopped crying long enough to take this photo

The flight home? I don't remember it because I hit two Unisom before the flight. It was good to get home. I missed the kids screaming at me and the good times we have together. May the spirit of ALHOA remain with you. Always.