Monday, July 15, 2013

Brother Husbands - Pioneering the Future

Mormon Feminist Housewives Rejoice!

Today while cleaning the house with my B.I.L., I realized we were accomplishing much in a short period of time. Soon my mind began to dwell upon the fantasy of cloning myself to achieve my Highest and Best Use in life. Since that is highly unethical, I decided the next best thing would be to go out to the male market and find myself... a Brother Husband.


Let me just say it now: Its not about the sex. In the modern economy where the ideal is a woman staying at home with the children and two or six incomes are required, this makes total sense. Full pay for the same work, no glass ceiling and no maternity leave to disrupt the family revenue stream.

Since the number of children would not explode like polygamy, children would benefit from a mother's full nurturing attention. The best schools and tutors could be attended, all sporting interests embraced with no lack of fatherly coaching or support on the sidelines. Christmas and birthday parties? Off the chain...

And let's not forget the benefits to men.

  • Six income against 1 mortgage? You could qualify to live in a SICK home with an infinity pool, home theater, steam room, full gym, basketball court and massive spa. 
  • Imagine only having to cover Valentines day once every six years! 
  • Buying the wife diamonds only represents one month's salary.
  • Six Dudes for a child to fear... child defiance disappears. 
  • Facial hair with no guilt. Even handle bar mustaches.  
  • Mowing the lawn once every other month.
  • Putting only 1 to 2 children to bed at night. 
  • Dishes once per week (kids have to do at least one night)
  • Camping every weekend and its not just survival, its MEN vs. WILD. 
  • Genuine need for a male nursing lounge in every chapel. 
  • Full basketball team with one man to stay behind in rotation to keep the wife happy!
I could go on, but I welcome your ideas.



Brother Husbands, I know what you are thinking. But you are wrong. If you divert all of that pent-up energy to other ideals, imagine the good that could be accomplished! The following blog details ideas from Napoleon Hill's classic THINK AND GROW RICH.

http://boldanddetermined.com/2011/10/24/how-to-harness-your-sexual-energy/

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1612930298/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=boldanddete-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399373&creativeASIN=1612930298



Did I mention Twinkies came back today?

Just set aside your ego and jealousy, read the blog and you will be convinced polyandry this is the way to go.
Its time for the pendulum to swing the other direction and for families to embrace their full potential. Soon marriages of any kind will be permitted in society. Its time to Pioneer a new family for the new economy in the 21st Century. Not every man has what it takes to be a Brother, but for those willing, the maximum productivity and satisfaction in life awaits.

7 comments:

Julie Fletcher said...

After watching this season of the Bachelorette I've realized large groups of men going after one women creates just as much drama as a big group of women after one guy. So I say no thanks to this. Only benefit is all the extra help and 6 incomes. That would rock!

Daniel said...

Hmmm . . .

By the way, I disagree with calling this polyandry, unless the men are married to each other.

I know the difference from polyandry and polygamy because I had the unique privilege of cite checking a law review article arguing for polyandry as a new sexual orientation. \m/

Daniel said...

Another BTW: Did MFHW blog about this, or was it an oblique reference, at the beginning?

Fletch said...

Who is MFHW? I was referencing Brother-In-Law

Daniel said...

Mormon Feminist Housewives.

BIL = the husband of our sister? ("So, you have a sister.")

Rooster said...

As one who is always willing to seriously consider even the most outlandish thoughts, I have to say that I can't envision any woman I know really handling this. I'm with Julie. I think there would be bloodshed and all out within a year.

That said, I think we should more seriously consider how to make ourselves six times as productive in work. And what types of menial tasks can we outsource? Next I want you to blog about Tim Ferris and the 4-hour work week.....

Fletch said...

Rooster, I admire your tenacity for the 4-hour life, but read this!

http://www.inc.com/steve-tobak/the-myth-of-the-4-hour-workweek.html