Friday, July 15, 2011

2011 Summer Film Rankings

I have blown way too much money at the movies this summer. But I've had a great time doing it. Here is my ranking of the movies I've taken in thus far this summer. And don't get ticked if I give away some spoilers.

8. Green Lantern - Ryan Reynolds made this flick bearable, but the amount of CGI made me feel like I was watching a Star Wars prequel. I'm sure GL purists love the mask, but it was too much CGI for me.

7. Thor - Since I don't bat for the other team, I guess I missed out on the point of this movie. Enough said on that. The Asgard stuff was good, but the scenes on earth were just awkward. I'm still waiting for the Academy to take the Oscar back from Natalie Portman for this movie. My favorite moment? "This drink... I like it! [SMASH] ANOTHER!!" - Justified the whole $200M production.

6. Transformers - I broke my vow to never watch a movie in 3D again and paid the price. Nothing special really jumped out at me. I was stunned that most of the Decepticons were killed at the end. I was pleased this movie didn't feel like a 3-hour recruitment video for the Marines. But I did walk out the theater feeling like a 13 year-old again. For the 3rd time, a perfectly good action movie was messed up by 50 pointless body-shots of a supermodel that does not belong in such a movie.... Look at those explosions! Look at that perfect hair! The wing suits were probably my favorite part of the flick. Amazing stuff there. I'm hoping for a 4th installment so we can see the Constructicons combine to form Devastator and Battle Omega Supreme as the camera pans back and forth between epic mechanical alien battles and sweaty supermodels with epic facial expressions.

5. Super 8 - Like most monster movies, it was really great up until the monster is revealed. I want a movie were aliens either come and enrich mankind or just eradicate us by putting something in the water. This really was a great flick, if you are not prone to blowing money at the box office, its a very worthy rental.

4. Kung Fu Panda 2 - Any movie were Jack Black gets to geek out over Kung-fu works for me. The peacock villain was a great change from a typical bad guy. Lots of fun for the family.

3. X-Men First Class - The camp factor was at a minimum, which is not an easy feat for a comic book film. I think this installment is my favorite of the franchise thus far. McAvoy and Fassbender were great as young Prof. X and Magneto. Kevin Bacon extends the power of his six degrees of separation to the comic book world. Now none can escape him. Can't wait to see X and Mag mix it up in the next chapter.

2. Midnight in Paris - Loved this movie. Hemingway was HILARIOUS! - Just a sample of his dialogue for posterity:
"Yes. It was a good book because it was an honest book, and that's what war does to men. And there's nothing fine and noble about dying in the mud unless you die gracefully. And then it's not only noble but brave."
"All men fear death. It's a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that we haven't loved well enough or loved at all, which ultimately are one and the same. However, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world and one that makes you feel truly powerful, that fear of death completely disappears. Because when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman the world fades away. You two are the only ones in the entire universe. You conquer what most lesser men have never conquered before, you have conquered a great woman's heart, the most vulnerable thing she can offer to another. Death no longer lingers in the mind. Fear no longer clouds your heart. Only passion for living, and for loving, become your sole reality. This is no easy task for it takes insurmountable courage. But remember this, for that moment when you are making love with a woman of true greatness you will feel immortal."
"No subject is terrible if the story is true, if the prose is clean and honest, and if it affirms courage and grace under pressure."
...Right. This comedy kept me rolling the whole time. Owen Wilson was perfect and it was great to see Rachel McAdams get back to being evil.

1. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part Deux - Hollywood magic at its best. I truly forgot about life for the span of this movie. The final chapter truly did not disappoint me at all. Dare I say the film actually improved on the book with memories from Snape's tears and the memories in the adaptation make his courage and love for Lilly much more compelling than what I originally imagined in the book. The final battle was truly a spectacle. Finally a movie where Voldermort gets plenty of screen time. Radcliffe wasn't amazing, but didn't get in the way of the story either. I'm sure all of the WB execs are wishing they had chosen to split all 7 books into two movies and made $4B instead of $2B. Heck, I would have been game for it. The end is very bittersweet. I came home, looked at my black cat and started hoping it would transform into a witch. I guess I'll just have to wait for the all-mighty JK to roll out new material in the future. This is a very fitting end to a huge franchise. Must be seen on the big screen - Yes CA I'm talking to you. Set your pride aside and enjoy the moment.

BTW - The trailer for the Dark Knight Rises already has my geek-out meter on 10. Until next summer. At least TDKR it will get here before 12-21-2012.

5 comments:

Daniel said...

Well, F-Word, I once more thank you for completely slaking my thirst for movie knowledge.

I appreciate being called out in your review and will confess my interest to witness the final Hairless installment in the theaters, even if it does mean setting aside my pride and returning to the theater for the first time since I can't remember. Probably 7, Part 1.

Just tell me one thing, F-Word: Is the, "Come on Tom, let's finish this like we started it," coupled with goofy "Gnaaaaa!!" scene as WTFetch bad as it is in the trailers?

Oh, and one more: Does V-Mart really scream, "Gnaaaa!!" as much as the trailers make out? If so, I'm unsure if I'll be pumping my fist in spellbound magnetism or ROFL . . .

Fletch said...

I too shared that concern before going. In the course of the film, its fine. I think it would have been cooler had I not known it was coming. Obviously all of the dialogue between harry and V would overwhelm someone who has not read the books, but the lack of speeches was actually a nice touch toward the end.

I imagine nothing will satisfy you. Just drop your expectations to the cellar, accept that adaptation happens and you may be pleasantly surprised. I'm gonna go cry into my pillow now.

Daniel said...

Good deal. Take heart, I have released the need to feel wowed.

Why the crying into the pillow?

Fletch said...

I weep for the end of the books and the movies until more comes out.

What are the odds future material from JK will stink?

Daniel said...

I hear you.

Who knows? Could be gold, could be dross.