Geeking Out pt. 2

In 2009 I saw the trailer for Star Trek and completely geeked out over it. This year, I think I've found my next geek-out film. To have the full geek-out experience, shut off the lights, maximize the window and crank up the volume...

I know what some of you may be thinking. Tron is for nerds. It explains how computers work in bad body suits. Sucher noted it could be one of the most depressing/boring films he's ever seen. He has a buddy where their family watches the original Tron every year during the holidays - and I thought my family was odd.

Did I like the first flick? Yes, but I do recall it being rather tiresome. So once again, I look to the future where nerds everywhere can have their old fetishes become cool and us Star Wars fans will just have to grind our teeth down to the bloody nerve. Here is the old light cycle race from the original Tron to provide a sense of how far its come.

Shoot. Now I gotta get one of those red outfits with the crazy hats for Halloween.

For the Haters

Men across America, these guys feel your pain.

Poor FAV-re

Man Crush, I can't believe I'm going to say this: I feel sorry for you. That was a gritty performance after a brilliant season, only to see it end in a very cruel irony of a 2nd career ending interception. Thus cementing your legacy as the king of interceptions, not the best QB of all times. That's got to be a jagged, bitter pill to swallow...

Maybe the trainer can give you a cortisol shot for that. But here is the real reason you lost.

Prince.

Yes. The dude formerly known as a symbol CURSED your team with the most HEINOUS fight song since the San Diego Chargers (also inept at winning it all despite superior talent). Clearly the football gods could not allow a team with any connection to that ultra-pathetic fight song tp win a super bowl. Hence, your inexplicable 5-turnover defeat in overtime.


Prince Purple and Gold Lyrics - Watch today’s top amazing videos here

I think I'm proud to be a Broncos fan after this morsel of perspective.

TEOTWAWKI

Today the Rooster and I got into another round of musings over the Second Coming, also known to secular society as TEOTWAWKI (tee-o-tuh-wa-ki) or The End Of The World As We Know It. I am going to here and now give a stunning and bold prediction: it will happen between 2026 - 2080. Read below for my prediction of the exact year.

I'm well aware the Bible says "But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." (Matt 24:36) However, the Lord only specifies the day and hour are unknown. If we follow the 7,000 year timeline we can get a decent understanding of where we are in relation to the Second Coming (http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bd/chrono).

Modern revelation gives us particular insight into the moment in which we stand. "For behold, the field is white already to harvest; and it is the eleventh hour, and the last time that I shall call laborers into my vineyard." (D&C 33:3). That statement was given by the Lord in a revelation to Joseph Smith in October 1830. It is possible the 11th hour is just a metaphor to help us understand the time is close, hence 6,000 years divided by 24 hours gives us 250 year time periods or hours.

I know I should be dividing 1,000 years by 24 hours giving me 41.6 years, but that means TEOTWAWKI should have happened in 1872 (rounded) and incidentally, that is the year Charles Taz Russel founded the Jehovah's Witnesses.... Right. So my modified theory of 250 years must be accurate or we'd all be doing the Millennium thing right now.

So let's say the 250 years started right at the time of that revelation in 1830. That would put an expiration date on TEOTWAWKI of 2080 (1830 + 250). However, it could be argued the latter-day work had already commenced and a guess of 1820 or the first vision would give us a date of 2070. But is this limited to the Prophet and all subsequent work? I think not. We have recorded that many of the founding fathers requested their temple work to be done by John Taylor in the St. George Temple. Their work could officially be started on July 2, 1776 with the Declaration of Independence. Using that date as the start of the 11th hour, I get an expiration date of 2026.

So will you be ready to meet your maker in a mere sixteen years? Still want to keep up those life insurance policies? (I'm joking). This is the part where most of you are going over untold, unreferenced quotes by General Authorities on the subject. Just give up. And in case you haven't noticed, my whole theory is essentially bunk.

But wait! One last theory. I've got the year pegged, and believe me I'll be happy to be proven wrong. But here it is... Assuming we are dead on with the years chronologically, meaning the 2,000th anniversary of Christ's birth was the year 2000; I'd say TEOTWAWKI or better put, The Morning of the First Resurrection will occur on the anniversary of THE resurrection of the Lord who was crucified on April 3rd, and raised on April 6th. This coincides nicely with the birth of the Lord on April 6, and the organization of the Church in the Last Days on April 6th. What year? Jesus was 33 at the time of his death. This puts my estimate on 2033. I won't bother to say the day, because the prior scripture says no one knows the day.


Needless to say, if I'm still alive you'll be able to find me at the Temple on April 6, 2033. Until then, act like its tomorrow or just party like its 1999 until December 21, 2012.

Here is the Rooster's Contribution as well as some fun light reading:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/end_wrl21.htm

2047-SEP-14: According to The Church of !BLAIR!, the human race will probably be terminated at 3:28 AM (Soho, UK time). The church teaches, with tongue firmly in cheek, that if the human race does not discard their plastic conformity, then the Gods will withdraw their protection. The Gods don't want us to worship them; they don't want sacrifices or even offerings. They just want us to rid itself of our excessive "Normalcy". At that time, Astro-Lemurs (extra-terrestrials similar in shape to lemurs, but with rainbow colored bodies) will attack the entire human race and beat them to death with gigantic burritos. You have been warned. ;-)

Unfortunately, the Church is no longer online to reinforce their warnings.

The Truth about this Blog

None of you guessed, but it was my intention all along. This blog is a Horcrux. Think about it.

I pour the essence of my soul into this blog, just like Tom Riddle and his "Diary." Like Tommy, I have the power to make my readers do things against their own will... such as watching 80s BMX dance videos. For you folks that are clueless on what I'm talking about and would like to know how or why I captured the essence of my soul in this blog, check out the following link. http://www.wikihow.com/Create-a-Horcrux (the tips and warnings must be read!)

So who did I kill to for this maniacal plot to live forever? The cool side of myself... by writing this post. Ouch the truth hurts, but now I can never die. Unless Google's "cloud" servers are destroyed. And that won't happen because we all know that "cloud" will become Skynet, which means I will become the Terminator and the T-1000 and travel through time to preserve this blog, not to win some stupid war with puny humans.

Rad

Major benefit of being a child of the 80s? Knowing what it was like to use the word rad and be cool. Plus, it meant we got sweet BMX racing movies. I've shared this with a few of you before, but it needs to be logged for posterity. In a perfect 80s world run by the Cobra Kai, everyone would be forced at nunchuck-point to watch this movie. Here is a sample. Prepare to be amazed.

SdmaMadDog, one of the great sages of 80s lore said the following about this clip:

Dude, ROFLOL. I have never seen such CHEESE. Incredibly horrible. I thought I saw Bart Conner in there, when he is the bad guy, unintentional comedy factor of the highest degree (especially when the writers can't even bother to change his first name!).

The story of Cru Jones, a young man who can overcome all obstacles that prevent him from participating in the BMX race "Helltrack." As he works towards his dream, Cru falls in love with Christian, an amateur racer. With the help of Christian and her friends, can Cru's "Rad Racing Team" defeat the top BMX factory rider, Bart Taylor ?

The 80s were my high school years and I saw break dancing in gyms but never, ever bmx!!! Thanks for a blast from the past. Now you have an name for your son...........presenting Cru Fletcher!!!

500 Days of Summer & Little Anita

Admittedly, the title of this post sounds bad. But the content will hopefully be better. Today I thoroughly enjoyed some good food and a movie and feel compelled by the universe or habit to talk about them (surprise).

500 Days of Summer - Dang. This movie was my cup of tea. Non-linear. Very random, full of odd references ala Simpsons or Scrubs style comedy done in Sundance style. Of course, like most indie RomComs, this flick got a little too serious for itself near the end, but was a highly enjoyable experience. The sections with jokes parodying foreign films were awesome. Additionally, the split screen reality vs. expectations sequence was tremendous. Overall, it is a wonderful portrayal of the ecstasy and angst associated with the male crush. It pushed profanity to the limit of PG-13, so don't get upset with me for recommending (with two firm thumbs and lower lip nod of approval) a relatively unwholesome but seriously hilarious movie.

Little Anita's, New Mexican Foods - Dang. Sick probably isn't a good way to describe a restaurant, but that's my word. This place is SICK. To make the word even odder, I've appraised the food processing facility for this restaurant and can testify the food for this place is made in profound cleanliness. The owner explained that bleach, etc. does not kill germs, hot water does - at 500 degrees, 2x a day. Books can't stand it and neither can evil germs. I'd recommend this place to Howard Hughes or germaphobes if I could only guarantee the individual restaurants were run in such a fashion. I absolutely destroyed the breakfast burrito they brought out to me smothered in green chili and cheese. I know its polite or some sign of self-control to leave some food on your plate when you dine out to show others you are mature, cool, whatever. Today, I didn't give a rip. I cleaned that plate with pride. Mom, you would have been proud. My ex O-line coach and teammates would have demanded I order another! Corporate America and the core work-out video sadist would have been ashamed. Well bullocks to them. To top it all off, a tasty sopapilla is included with every meal (eat your heart out Casa Bonita). Its like going to New Mexico Mexican food heaven. The blue corn enchiladas with the green sauce are also quite good. No, SICK. Go there and leave your inhibitions at the door. http://www.littleanitas.com/

Bleeding Orange and the Blues

I know I posted that the Broncos franchise was dead during pre-season and I was nearly ready to eat my hat after a 6-0 start. But the 2-8 finish was simply UNBEARABLE to watch after getting my hopes up. At least I got to put the A.1. Sauce away and save my hat for the rest of winter. And yes, even Darth Vader is wiping away a tear after missing the playoffs yet again due to a massive late season collapse.

I know, I know I should be happy with an 8-8 season, but it feels like deja-vu all over again from last season. Guess what? We're going to trade Brandon Marshall in the off season! Maybe even to Chicago! What a gas!!! Why don't we just do it all over again!?!

I know, I know, I know we are rebuilding and 8-8 is a fine way to start rebuilding. So I should just quit whining and enjoy the fact we caught 4 or 5 teams with their pants down and punched them in the mouth. And to think the name "McMastermind" was once floating around this town. To top off the angst of the season, our beloved "Barrel Man" super-fan died on December 5. http://www.denverpost.com/ci_13934615. Rest in peace as you sail off into that great orange sunset. As for the living, we can only hope for next season.

Avatar - IMAX 3D

There is a cliche that some movies are more than cinema, they are events. Things to be experienced so one can participate in the human conversation. I dare say this film lives up to that hype. In short, it is a glimpse at the future of cinema.

The 3D effect in IMAX was spectacular. I occasionally noticed the glasses or saw imperfections with the 3D, but I can live with that. I won't bore you tyring to describe it. It is simply amazing to behold and must be done in IMAX 3D. Watching this at home will not even be close. One note about the design of the world - if you are a big fan of the band Yes and feel like Roger Dean was hosed, check this out:

http://io9.com/5426120/did-prog-rocks-greatest-artist-inspire-avatar-all-signs-point-to-yes/gallery/ now, go chain yourself to something and protest.

Which brings me to the controversial plot of the film. Hollywood used to make epic religious movies such as the 10 Commandments, Ben-Hur and The Greatest Story Ever Told. Things have not changed, but the religion being taught has. Soylent Green was a pioneer of sorts, but the green religion has gained full acceptance and is now taught in principle by such films as Wall-E, Avatar, The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Day after Tomorrow... the list is long http://www.alternate-energy-sources.com/green-movies.html. Preaching or cautionary tales? Probably somewhere in between and I can live with that. But the green stuff was minor. This movie was more about manifest destiny and cultural superiority. Here are some of the usual jabs at Republicans and Conservatives:

• A future where corporations run everything, ruin everything and are total idiots
• Americans and the military are the bad guys
• Scientists are the altruistic good people who only care about love and hope (not funding)
• While Americans are totally evil, the natives (other cultures) are portrayed as completely good
• American culture seeks "unobtainium" or happiness in unobtainable ways/means. The real way to achieve happiness is a return to nature and no bathing
• Tons of blue humanoid aliens running around essentially naked in nothing but loin-cloths.
• Total rejection of America by exiling nearly all humans and then the main character sheds his humanity to become alien and live the green life.
• Machine guns that far into the future? Please! tell me we've figured out some better weaponry if we can fly across the galaxy (not a political thing, just stupid IMHO).

The filmmakers seem to be suffering from tremendous guilt by association as Americans for all of our atrocities against African American slaves and Native American Indians (the blue Navi people seem to be a combination of the two). Not to mention lack of socialistic systems such as universal health care and the future destruction of the planet.

The Rooster made a good observation that perhaps more than guilt, the film was about the desire to escape sin and its consequences. The final sequence of the main character sending the humans away and giving up his body to become alien (and whole) are supreme symbols of Mr. Cameron's loss of faith in humanity thanks to George W. Bush and his desire to have his sins by association forgiven. Or he just feels real bad about his carbon footprint. OK. Maybe that's a bit extreme, but interesting to think about.

IN FAIRNESS - We need cautionary tales. Its why we study history, scriptures and sometimes fiction to avoid repeating the same mistakes. While I may not be thrilled with the political overtones of the film, is it so terrible to show people fighting for other's life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Even if it is different from our own?

The Rooster also pointed out this movie has some similarities with the Ender Series written by Orson Scott Card (highly recommended). Ender appeared to be the only human willing to understand and even love apparently hostile alien species. Because of his work to understand others, he saved humanity from committing horrible atrocities. This movie seems to follow a similar theme and its a good message if you can ignore the political trappings.

So why must current filmmakers continue to envision a future where corporations destroy the planet and hate all other alien cultures? Especially ourselves? Could it not be argued that capitalism has done tremendous good for the standard of living across the world? Given tolerance to things that used to be intolerable? If anything we are on the right, not the wrong track. At least the folks at Star Trek hold out a relatively positive view of the future for humanity and so do I. Perhaps I could say our current relationship of spirit and body is like the Avatar experience? So rather than shed my humanity and seek life as something else; I'll trust the Gospel ideals of repentance, forgiveness of sin and resurrection as the true way to have the burdens of guilt and sin lifted and find true happiness.