TEOTWAWKI

Today the Rooster and I got into another round of musings over the Second Coming, also known to secular society as TEOTWAWKI (tee-o-tuh-wa-ki) or The End Of The World As We Know It. I am going to here and now give a stunning and bold prediction: it will happen between 2026 - 2080. Read below for my prediction of the exact year.

I'm well aware the Bible says "But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." (Matt 24:36) However, the Lord only specifies the day and hour are unknown. If we follow the 7,000 year timeline we can get a decent understanding of where we are in relation to the Second Coming (http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bd/chrono).

Modern revelation gives us particular insight into the moment in which we stand. "For behold, the field is white already to harvest; and it is the eleventh hour, and the last time that I shall call laborers into my vineyard." (D&C 33:3). That statement was given by the Lord in a revelation to Joseph Smith in October 1830. It is possible the 11th hour is just a metaphor to help us understand the time is close, hence 6,000 years divided by 24 hours gives us 250 year time periods or hours.

I know I should be dividing 1,000 years by 24 hours giving me 41.6 years, but that means TEOTWAWKI should have happened in 1872 (rounded) and incidentally, that is the year Charles Taz Russel founded the Jehovah's Witnesses.... Right. So my modified theory of 250 years must be accurate or we'd all be doing the Millennium thing right now.

So let's say the 250 years started right at the time of that revelation in 1830. That would put an expiration date on TEOTWAWKI of 2080 (1830 + 250). However, it could be argued the latter-day work had already commenced and a guess of 1820 or the first vision would give us a date of 2070. But is this limited to the Prophet and all subsequent work? I think not. We have recorded that many of the founding fathers requested their temple work to be done by John Taylor in the St. George Temple. Their work could officially be started on July 2, 1776 with the Declaration of Independence. Using that date as the start of the 11th hour, I get an expiration date of 2026.

So will you be ready to meet your maker in a mere sixteen years? Still want to keep up those life insurance policies? (I'm joking). This is the part where most of you are going over untold, unreferenced quotes by General Authorities on the subject. Just give up. And in case you haven't noticed, my whole theory is essentially bunk.

But wait! One last theory. I've got the year pegged, and believe me I'll be happy to be proven wrong. But here it is... Assuming we are dead on with the years chronologically, meaning the 2,000th anniversary of Christ's birth was the year 2000; I'd say TEOTWAWKI or better put, The Morning of the First Resurrection will occur on the anniversary of THE resurrection of the Lord who was crucified on April 3rd, and raised on April 6th. This coincides nicely with the birth of the Lord on April 6, and the organization of the Church in the Last Days on April 6th. What year? Jesus was 33 at the time of his death. This puts my estimate on 2033. I won't bother to say the day, because the prior scripture says no one knows the day.


Needless to say, if I'm still alive you'll be able to find me at the Temple on April 6, 2033. Until then, act like its tomorrow or just party like its 1999 until December 21, 2012.

Here is the Rooster's Contribution as well as some fun light reading:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/end_wrl21.htm

2047-SEP-14: According to The Church of !BLAIR!, the human race will probably be terminated at 3:28 AM (Soho, UK time). The church teaches, with tongue firmly in cheek, that if the human race does not discard their plastic conformity, then the Gods will withdraw their protection. The Gods don't want us to worship them; they don't want sacrifices or even offerings. They just want us to rid itself of our excessive "Normalcy". At that time, Astro-Lemurs (extra-terrestrials similar in shape to lemurs, but with rainbow colored bodies) will attack the entire human race and beat them to death with gigantic burritos. You have been warned. ;-)

Unfortunately, the Church is no longer online to reinforce their warnings.