LAIR O' THE BEAR

Today, I discovered another sport I stink at - Mountain Biking. Yes, I have a mountain bike and ride it around suburbia with a feisty Lizard on my heels, but this was the real deal.

This was a mix and mingle activity put on by some mortgage brokers and it seemed like a much more interesting way to network than golf or attend a trade show. I was lured in like a moth to the flame. Upon my arrival I was stunned to find that I looked out of place for not wearing spandex. My golf shirt and cargo shorts implied: "TOOL" Several guys asked me if I had ever done this before and I happily told them "no" to which they just laughed and said "good luck."

I was informed that we were taking on a trail in the Lair O' the Bear park that was classified as intermediate difficulty. Like a tool, I got used. First of all, I didn't think we'd be doing much uphill riding. No, we went straight up a typical hiking trail. I enjoy hiking, but never imagined going up on a bike. Better yet, I didn't realize my rental bike had a higher gear setting and after I could no longer breathe and kept loosing my balance, I got off and walked. A 70 year old dude stayed back with me only added to the humiliation as the rest of the pack whizzed by. It was a trail of tears marked by shame.

Once at the top of the hill, I was ready to turn back; but the thrill of downhill was too much for me and I took off. I love the smell of the woods, but its even better at 20 mph. Of course I realized after a few minutes, I'd have to come back up the hill and began to cringe. The rest of the trail was a blast, no more massive inclines, this is the way it should be. I even figured out I had another gear. I was finally getting the hang of it. Then the left pedal on my rental came off.

Fortunately the 70 year old guy had a wrench of sorts and I was able to re-attach the much needed pedal, but it still felt weak. I elected to walk it up hill so I could be sure to have it going downhill and make up time to actually network at the trail head.

I did have the obligatory wipe out on the way back, lost most of the skin on my palms, but had a great time. The 70 year old guy literally took five dives while I was following him. He was one tough but crazy son of a gun. Bloodied like a hockey player - or Steve Nash. I hope he gets around the house alright. Here's a good example.

Needless to say, ski resorts have it right. Let machines take you to the top and then ride down. Now its time to get some rest and regrow some skin.

LOST & My Predictions

One of my favorite TV shows has just ended and it didn't turn out the way I predicted. Here is my prediction from April 2008.


Jack and Kate with the help of Ben and Sayid will break into Faraday's Oxford lab and take 3 super-humans who can see dead people, travel through time and dodge bullets back to the island for VENGEANCE. There they will use all of the ancient Dharma fortresses to defeat the monster and the evil corporate Mr. Widmore. John Locke will die in the process while using all his powers granted by the Island. Ben will be killed by his own greed and fall into a pit of Lava like Gollum.

In the aftermath, scientists will go to the island and discover the cure for cancer, the ability to render all atomic bombs useless, and how to time travel back to previous days in a person's life. But the most stunning result will be the key to picking lottery numbers. Once this happens, people will win the lotto so much that it will be closed. As the real source of public school funding, the educational system will collapse, the rising generation will become cannibals; and consequently, not solve global warming and the earth will be flooded by icebergs. Then Kevin Costner's vision of Water World will become a reality. I don't remember how that movie ended (because I shut it off) so you'll have to tell me how it ends.

OK. The only things I was close on were Captain Obvious items - Jack defeating the monster, Locke dying and water world...

I'll start by saying I'm glad the show is over. I felt it running out of gas at the end of Season 3; but time travel kept it interesting for 2 more years and the longest ending ever (all of the alternate realities in 6) kept it very enjoyable.

My biggest disappointment? The Island. It was such a source of mystery and imagination and only turned out to be a plot device. They didn't really want to explain why or what it was, the emphasis was on the people. In the Super Bowl-esque 2 hour pre-game show, the producers said the title LOST referred more to the characters than the Island. From that perspective, the arc of the show makes sense and I'm glad I caught that or I might have been sorely disappointed.

Ultimately, this is a story about how people find redemption. I used to think the point of the show was to demonstrate that everyone has a skeleton in the closet and we all deserve to go to hell on an island infested with a smoke monster. But in classic Judeo-Christian fashion, the characters ultimately find a form of grace or salvation. The way in which they pull each other to the "next place" was beautiful and set me close to tears a few times.

What did I love most about the show? It was like a six year long movie with a great score - the music really made the show. It never felt like a TV show to me. My parents had the Thorn Birds, I have LOST. I feel sad for those who haven't seen it yet, because now there are too many spoilers out there. The joy of this show for me was discovery and the journey. Which brings me to an idea about origin stories, but that will have to wait for another day.

I've added a theme from the show that feels appropriate for an ending to my playlist if you care to hear the music once again.

Death, BBQ and a Theory

Fantasy vs. Baseball - Think about any guy you know where his favorite sport is baseball (or a very close second). I will guarantee 90% of the time this guy will not enjoy fantasy or sci-fi movies. They will tolerate rom-coms (AKA roofies), but use them as a commodity. I know of only one genuine exception to my rule. But the real question is why????

I can only guess that dudes who can endure hours of boring baseball and mundane color anecdotes do not enjoy material that stretches beyond normal. Therefore, wizards are fake and stupid. Sci-fi is for nerds imagining a future where they are cool or powerful. To their credit, I've known a few of these guys who have attempted to like fantasy or sci-fi, but ultimately can't deny their true nature. One easy way to spot these guys? They will always prefer the Bourne trilogy to a popular fantasy/sci-fi trilogy or series.

Of course, this theory is still in progress I welcome any real or fake comments.

Nordy's BBQ - Since returning to the Mile High City, I have lamented the fact we have no good BBQ joints. Until now... I have found a place where the brisket falls apart on your fork... where smokey tender ribs are so good you'll drop to your knees and thank heaven PETA and their hordes of naked nymphomaniacs haven't outlawed eating meat. Nordy's brought me out a Louisiana Special that was enough food to feed me and two small children (stuffed - seriously). All major sauce styles were present: Texas, Kansas City, Jalapeno and Memphis. I'm a KC guy and I could eat a bowl of it with some Texas Toast. All of this may sound too good to be true for a man in the Metro area. Well, it is. The big downer about Nordy's is that its up in Windsor and the waitress told me it would be 4 years before we get a location in the Denver area. Is anticipation better than the real thing? My trips up there will help solve that axiom for me.

Departures - Winner of the Oscar for the Best foreign film in 2009, this a movie I thoroughly enjoyed. A failed Cellist moves back to his hometown to start a new life and finds a career in assisting deceased persons with encoffinment - a ceremony performed before mourners. This movie resonated with me as the son of a Cellist and someone who lost his father early in life. I laughed hard and cried during this film. It made me feel grateful to be alive and not take those I love for granted. If foreign movies are not your thing, I hope you'll make an exception for this one. It is not a typical popcorn movie and the plot does not zing along at a high clip. Rather it gives you time to digest the ideas and feel emotion. Definitely a new favorite I'll be bugging people to watch for years to come.

Maui Book Club

While basking in the glow of a corporate "advance" in Maui I discovered my inner power animal and how to deal with owls, lions and a flock of seagulls. I also read a few books.


EMPIRE - The back cover says this is a disturbing look at a possible future where a civil war breaks out between the Ultra-left and Uber-right. This effort from Orson Scott card did not resonate with me like his Ender series - AKA the greatest tribute ever written to passive aggressiveness.

The characters were not believable, the plot was ludicrous. Upset with George Bush, the Progressive Restoration Movement - secretly led and financed by a billionaire left-wing extremist known as "Aloe Vera" builds an under-lake army of AT-STs and hover bikes. They invade NYC after murdering the President, VP and Secretary of State in a terrorist attack blamed on Al-queda leaving a Mormon to pick up the pieces as president. Its a book where the author is trying to show off his Russian nesting dolls. There's a secret within a secret within a secret. But when you get down to it. There just a tiny wooden doll that leaves you disappointed.


THE LAST KINGDOM - If any of you men reading this ever think you are loosing your masculinity or drive to eat an enormous drumstick while slamming you fist on the table screaming "BRING ME MY DRINK WOMAN!!" then read this book. Or just read it for the sheer joy of testosterone that will flood your body as you read about the glamour of 9th century warrior life. I promise at least 30 new chest hairs at completion.

This is a historical work of fiction starring Uthred, a young English noble who has his homeland invaded by the Danes (Vikings) in the 9th century. Raised by the Danes after taking him captive, he is torn between the warrior lifestyle he loves with the Danes and his homeland. All of England begins to fall to the invaders in bloody fashion. Only Alfred the Great stands between the Danish conquest and history hangs in the balance. Uthred plays his role as history unfolds. Bernard Cornwell is simply a fantastic testosterone author. This book is like Braveheart on steroids. I'll severely recommend this to SDMAMaddog and anyone else who thinks they can handle the raw power in this book.

With a book this awesome about medieval fighting why are we re-making Robin Hood for the 40th time? Sad. This is a trilogy and I'm already starting on the next book, The Pale Horseman.