Hope for Mitt

The triumph of Donny Osmond last night on Dancing with the Stars is a clear sign religious bias in America is over. Mitt, if Donny can do it, so can you. Practice that winning smile, leak some photos of yourself as a young stallion or just do what we all wish you wold: select Donny as your VP candidate.

So here and now I predict Mitt the winner in 2012 with Donny as VP. A. this will save us from the disaster predicted by apostate Mayan/Lamanite high-priests who lost their true authority after killing all of the Nephites; B. This will allow for fulfillment of the prophecy uttered by Joseph Smith (recorded by Eliza R. Snow http://www.ldslastdays.com/default.aspx?page=pscthread.htm):

"The time will come when the government of these United States will be so nearly
overthrown through its corruption, that the Constitution will hang as it were by
a single hair, and the Latter-day Saints-the Elders of Israel-will step forward
to its rescue and save it."

"I'd rather be governed by Donny and Marie than the Washington establishment." Peggy Noonan, WSJ http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pnoonan/?id=110010955

Twilight SAGA - New Moon

Last night my wife and I went and saw the second attempt to adapt the Twilight SAGA to the big screen. We didn't do the 12:01 midnight showing, which I had kind of hoped for, just to witness genuine female hysteria. I know I must sound very shallow, but I figured based on how cheesy the last one was, watching people freak out would be way more entertaining. The 7:00 PM show last night was certainly no Beatles concert, but it had its moments. I'm always happy to hear people cheer at the beginning of a movie. However, I didn't join them for all the bare chested cheers for Jacob and Edward. Not my "team." Had Bella ripped her shirt off, I would have cheered just to demonstrate equal rights, but I don't like the taste of boots and pepper spray and no such opportunity arose. But I digress...

First off, I will say my hopes for the franchise were fulfilled. They did a much better job with this installment than the last. Would I hold this up with some of my favorite movies? No. Maybe my expectations were sooooo low going in I was going to be pleased with just about anything. If they can keep improving the other two over this one, I'd say this will turn out to be a solid franchise.

Like most blockbusters, this movie had some awful reviews. Currently it sits at 29% on the Rotten Tomatoes meeter, which I would interpret as an overall grade of F-. In fairness, critics usually despise romance because they have no love in their hearts. So I'd say ignore what most of these bitter people have to say. A movie about bridling passions is for empty-headed right-wing religous lemmings or boy-crazy girls (I can't believe I just lumped those two together). I guarantee those pinko Communist critics would have given it 4 stars if this movie involved some bizarre perversions, drug additction, 20 F-bombs or Bella spending half her time trying to save the trees in Forks to get over Edward leaving (that would have been right in line with all of the shameless "green" pandering I saw on NBC this week). A bunch of the critics said the last one was better than this one... ????? Clearly they are on drugs. Did we all see the same corn-ball fest of a movie before? For me this film was 10x better than the first. Here are few reasons why:

• Special Effects/Action - While not ILM worthy, they were much better, primarily the fact that I wasn't thinking they were bad. The wolves were done well, the fight scene with the Volturi was OK and there were several bits of action chasing Victoria that were better than anticipated. I'd like to now thank the universe or whomever fixed this.
• Cast - As in the last film, Kristen Stewart carries the film and is 100% believable (for me at least). Its never too much emotion or too little and I'd say that is a very hard balance to strike and she does it incredibly well. Edward is still a tool to me, but whatever, he was hardly in this one! Alice came off much better, Jasper looked a little less constipated, the rest were hardly in the film. High school kids and Charlie were still the best comedy and perhaps there was not enough of them.
• Jacob - He become the true third piece to the love triangle in this installment. Acting was pretty good. Clearly that guy had much more financial incentive than the other wolves to bulk up or the kid was on steroids. I wonder if his performance should have an asterisk **** next to it. Congress may haul his butt before a tribunal soon so they can pretend to do something useful.
• Music - Seemed to flow much better with the visuals on the screen this time. Nothing amazing, but worked better this time.
• Direction/Production - Clearly this film was better produced, directed, edited, you name it, better. I only recall two blatantly cheesy moments. Perhaps they were a homage to the prior crew. I noticed they actually tried to re-do the meadow since it showed up so pitifully last time. Thank you Summit for re-investing some of that $300 million you made off the first flick.

Based on what I saw this time, I definitely have some higher expectations for the next film, which should be the most guy friendly of the whole SAGA. Perhaps my favorite moment was after the credits started to roll, some crusty old guy in front of us said, "Why did she go for that wuss?" Enough said.

My Business Card is CRAP!!!

Recently, the company I work for did some re-branding which resulted in new business cards for yours truly. I thought my new card was slick. Stock. Color. 2 sided. Slogan. Money.... Wrong. All of my good feelings were crushed (as usual) by some highly effective and motivated individual. See below.

If that wasn't enough to get you lathered up and ready to run through a brick wall, WATCH THIS!!!

Thank you Patton. Happy Friday to all. Blue Skies, Blue sky.

Book Club

My wife typically reserves random Wednesday nights for "Book Club." This is where a bunch of women shove their kids off on their exhausted husbands and go hang out with hors d'oeuvres thanks to the pretext of having read [cough] some amazing book. But I'd like to pose the question, what if I showed up to book club?

I actually read pointless books, maybe that's why I'd be disqualified. Perhaps my reading selection is not highbrow enough. Maybe I don't make good hors d'oeuvres, but what's wrong with a bag of chips and some Costco guacamole? Or could it be gender discrimination?

If I'm shunned from B.C. because of my dudeness, why don't I start up a club for men? A. because that sounds like a hair loss thing; B. we'd never do it. We used to call that sort of gathering English class (as if we read the books then either). Besides, I need to have something to blab about during basketball and my part time job as a pro-bono mover. But that doesn't always work. So what's the solution?

A book club of one. My sad blog where I tell 2 to maybe 3 people (thanks Mom) about books I've read. SO I HEREBY DECLARE THE FLETCH WORD AN "ALL-MALE" BOOK CLUB!!! And now that I've rambled on for so long, you won't want to read my reviews. But here they are:

1. The Lost Symbol - This is the latest Dan Brown novel involving everyone's favorite professor, Robert Langdon. This is one guy who should quit answering the phone as it often puts him in the middle of a conspiracy to unleash a secret SO POWERFUL it will rock humanity and put his life in peril. Sarcasm aside, I really enjoyed this book. The villain Mal'akh is both creepy and unpredictable, nearly steals the show. It was very interesting to learn a bit about Free Masonry, its symbols and ideals. Many LDS folks thought this book would be unkind to them with a Mason-Mormon plot, but the references to the church are obscure and forgettable. The puzzles were very interesting along with the explanation. I also enjoyed learning about Washington D.C. and its Masonic lore. The book focuses on Apotheosis, Greek for "to be made divine" and hence many LDS readers will find Dan Brown's ideas intriguing, like the Da Vinci Code. I'm reluctant to give much of the plot or ideas away as that's the point of reading the book. Its a page turner and I heartily recommend it.



2. THE HUNGER GAMES - Where The Running Man and modern Harry Potter/Twilight writing collide in an explosion of violence, emotion and ethical dilemmas. In the post-apocalyptic future of North America, 12 poor and starving worker Districts of people are ruled by a wealthy upper class known as The Capitol. After a failed worker's rebellion 74 years ago, District 13 was annihilated and the Capitol punishes the 12 remaining districts annually with The Hunger Games. Each year one boy and one girl over the age of 12 are selected from each of the 12 districts as "Tributes" or sacrifices to compete in a televised death match, often lasting several weeks (like a sick version of the Olympics). The lone survivor gets to return home to a life of guaranteed food in a decent home. The plot revolves around Katniss, a young girl forced to feed her family after the untimely death of her father. When her helpless 12 year old sister is chosen as a victim, she volunteers to go in her place. Little do the Gamemakers know that Katniss has been hunting illegally for years to feed her family and this is one tough girl that will not go down without a fight. I couldn't put the book down and had to finish it in two days. Its the first of a trilogy which looks to be very promising. If you start reading now, you can say you were into before the bandwagon fans pile on.

I hope our first session of book club was enjoyable, despite the lack of chips and guacamole. Until next time, I'll bring the pigs in a blanket.

P.rotect O.ur E.ssence

Here are few movies I've watched lately. Some good, others not so much...

• Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb - Classic satire flick. If you haven't seen this, drop what you are doing, pick up the pieces and then watch this movie. It will change your life. Some memorable quotes: "Have you ever seen a Communist drink water?"; "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room."; "You'll have to answer to the Coca-Cola company." Where else do you get Patton, Mr. Taggart and Darth Vader all in a black and white film? I had no idea Peter Sellers played three main roles: Dr. Strange Love, Mandrake and the President. Brilliant performance. Eddie Murphy and Arsinio Hall would concur. The yee-ha death scene is still one of the most haunting things I've seen on film. Funny, morbid, heroic and pitiful all at the same time. "When Johnny comes marching home, hurah!"
  


• Omega Man (1971) - For those of you who saw "I am Legend" this is the earlier version of the film with some of the best 60s/70s music, acting and special effects EVER!! I laughed out loud several times at how bad this flick was. Charlton Heston was the NRA in this movie. Just an iconic performance. See this if you really have nothing else to do, much like yours truly.

• Wolverine - Look out, Wolverine actually uses his claws in this extension of the X-Men franchise. Action sequences were very good, the plot involving Sabertooh as his brother was intriguing, solid comic-book flick. Not the best ever, but a good one. I was impressed to learn Jackman did 98% of his stunts, and his only carbs were two pieces of whole wheat toast each day during filming. Bit of a twist at the end, no sixth sense surprises, but certainly worth a rental or spot in that DVD collection.

Trunk or Treating: Fundamentally Wrong

I deplore Halloween as a celebration of the Devil, however some think Trunk or Treating is a safe way for kids to experience the holiday. But at what cost? Trunk or Treating is fundamentally wrong. It represents everything deplorable about modern parenting that is killing capitalism. Here are some reasons:

• Where is the hard work and sacrifice to earn a reward? These events make me sick. Kids can gain as much loot in 15 minutes as it would to go door to door for two hours. No exercise and tons of sugar = an unmotivated, lazy workforce.
• The point of Halloween is to provide a reasonably safe, but somewhat scary night for kids to roam the neighborhood. Time to see if they have the guts to brave a scary house or go to the crusty old man's door who hates all of the kids in the neighborhood. Learn to face fear and still ask for what you want. Isn't that a key element to a successful career?
• Trunk or treating often bans masks, one of the oldest forms of costuming. Our ancestors who wore masks would surely be disappointed at our denial of the rich heritage provided to us. Shunning the practices of our ancestors and the Founding Fathers will turn us into godless communists.
• Above all, kids are not learning risk/return lessons essential to becoming successful entrepreneurs! If you want to get 5 lbs of candy for free, you have to deal with the fact there may be a razor blade in that apple. The facts of life. Deal with it and join the Republican party. Just look out for the government who will steal that candy after you've worked hard for it. Oddly enough, their re-distribution of your candy will be PATHETIC.

One last gripe about this holiday. Apparently, we have to start decorating for it at the beginning of the month, elevating it to equal status with Christmas. Once again, FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG. Please visit the following site to learn more about getting the evils of Halloween out of society. http://www.abolishhalloween.com/

Crisis of Faith

When I was a young boy, my heart lept for joy when the Broncos went to their first Super Bowl (XXI) against the Giants. 1986 was a magical season concluding in Cleveland with "The Drive" and a kicker with no shoe in the snow. We even had a Fletcher on the team. I recall going to a friend's house for the big game. Orange and Blue sno-balls (best hostess cake ever) were served. We were up at half-time 10-9. Then the third quarter struck and the blow-out was on. Curse you Phil Simms and Mark Bavaro!!! I was devastated. I actually went into the bathroom to shed a few tears near the end.

The following year, we had a shot at redemption with the Redskins in Super Bowl XXII. Like the previous year, we started well, up 10-0, until the 2nd Quarter. That quarter was so bad, it became known as "The Quarter" where the Redskins put up 35 points with 365 yards and 5 touchdowns. I was peeling the skin off my body. It was even worse this time!! The game ended with 42 unanswered points for a 42-10 blow-out. I've actually blocked the second half of the game out of my mind.

The final blow to my faith came in 1990, when we faced off with the 49'ers in Super Bowl XXIV. I knew going in they were the better team, but I still genuinely hoped we had a chance to win. 3rd time's a charm, right? WRONG. 55-10. Most lopsided game in the history of the Super Bowl. I can actually recall the birth of a cynic within me during that game as I began to expect Jerry Rice to blow past us for endless touchdowns. The pain yielded to numbness, then to stone. My faith was dead.

Didn't we win back-to-back Super Bowls with Terrel Davis, Eddie Mac, Shannon Sharpe, Atwater, Romo and a host of great players? Yes. 2,000 yard rushing season? Yes. Did it re-kindle my childlike faith? No. As Frodo Baggins would say:

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are somethings that time cannot mend... some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold."

Just ask my wife. I am damaged goods. You may be thinking, GET OVER IT YOU STUPID FOOL! ITS JUST A GAME!!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN PLAY ON THE TEAM!! All fair points. But that 10 year old boy didn't know that. All he knew was the pastor of his second church could not work miracles when it counted the most. I built up a wall around me to avoid being hurt like that again. I'd never let anyone or anything crush my hope like that again. Sounds stupid, unreasonable, but true. I'll admit it. The primary bricks in my wall? Lowered expectations, which eventually hardened with older age as I realized sports really are nothing more than entertainment. I savored the Terrell Davis years like a wounded animal chews on a hunk of red meat, but the threat of the stick always loomed in my mind.

Getting truly involved in my real faith gave me perspective on what's worth getting hurt for, and what's not. As much as I enjoy sports, I see their place as entertainment in my life. Do I still get ticked and upset? Of course (just read some prior sports posts). But I now have perspective that limits my passion for the game to within reasonable levels.

So when I look at the 4-0 Broncos, I want them to win, but the wild hope of my youth is gone. I carefully watched the Nuggets in the playoffs, but knew ultimate victory was unlikely. The Rockies were bound to get creamed by the Red Sox, and they may not get out of the first round this year. And I'm still waiting for Max Hall to throw the next interception. Maybe if I listen the Celine Dion song "Its all coming back to me now" I'll get the feeling back? Nah.

Absurd as it may sound, due to my relationship with sports, (in some part) I'm beginning to understand what Jesus meant by having childlike faith. Opening up fully like I did when I was a kid is a hard and scary thing to do, but He is the one person I can trust with my heart and faith. He does not fail us. I've got a long way to go (just ask my wife), but this following passage sums it up well:

Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God. (Eth 12:4)