Fantasy Geek

This is what I just posted to my ESPN Fantasy Football League as a form of SHEER INTIMIDATION. Eat your heart out Terry Tate!

The Gloves are Coming Off

Posted: Aug 29, 12:48 AM

I just figured out how to do the auto-pick strategy.

I won't even begin to tell you guys about how much my Dungeon Master hated me once I figured out how to throw a throw a 20-sided die with enhanced dexterity.



Once I find a auto pilot for trades, bye weeks and everything else, I'll be on a roll.

Treasure in Heaven

I came across this video a few weeks ago and I've gone back to it several times to watch with my kids and family. It presents the story of John Tanner financially saving the Kirtland Temple and his critical support to the Kingdom in the early days of the church.

 

Most days I'm trying to make as much money as possible for my own family's needs and security. I gladly pay tithing, fast offerings and make other donations monetarily and with personal service. But after watching this I truly reached a deeper appreciation of the faith the early Saints had to place everything on the altar for God. I think my favorite part of the video was seeing Joseph's gratitude or a reflection of the Lord's appreciation when we give our all in His service with no thought of reward.

Phyllis Wisdom

This is very random, (surprise) but after hearing about Phyllis Diller's death today, I decided to look up some of her great quotes / one-liners. Here are eight pearls of wisdom:

1. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. 
2. Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off. 
3. I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. 
4. My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. 
5. My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. 
6. The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. 
7. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
8. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. 

Of Guns and Donuts

Yesterday I indulged in two of the greatest and most lethal freedoms available in America... AT THE SAME TIME.

But before I elaborate, its important to know the history of great combinations. Many years ago in a fictional place, a strikingly profound question was asked of a total Meat-head:

 

Since I'm not in the pillage and conquest business, instead of crushing and lamentation, I now turn to the modern-day equivalent: Shooting Guns and Eating Donuts.

This really is just about what it looked like.

Like their predecessors, both involve death, or at least the possibility of death, which is a MUST for a real man to be interested. Stoners and pot-heads dream of sticking it to the man with music and drugs (Oooooo). Hard-working men born of American spirit stick it not to some scary rich white-guy, but the Grim Reaper himself and defy his hold on their lives by shooting mountains of ammunition and eating copious amounts of donuts.

So I now answer for Conan and all men in the real, modern world:

"TO POUND YOUR DONUTS AND FEEL THE THUNDER OF THE AMMUNITION!"

The Dark Side

It is with DEEP SHAME I admit I had not seen this until a few seconds ago. Thank you Shaunz.



I have to admit this guy does have some bizarre comedic talent.


Enough with the sports so boring we can only stand them once every four years... GIVE ME SOME FOOTBALL!!!