Overdraft

I'm about to lay some serious sandpaper against the grain of the sports world. All week, whenever I tune into sports talk radio, Fox, ESPN, etc. all I hear about is the precious NFL draft. I think the draft has become the most over hyped, unnecessary "sports" event of the year. How could I say such a thing?! I understand the reasons for the draft being popular; the drama of teams trading up or down, watching players loose millions as they slide down the draft board, the marriage of the college and the pro game... its all gravy to me.

However, the draft is a symptom of what bugs me about our country right now. We're always looking for the next big thing and not appreciating what we have. All hype, no substance. 50% of all #1 QB picks in the modern era have been busts. Should I really give a hoot about who the next Ryan Leaf is? Call me once these players prove something in the NFL. Then I'll go back and see how they were drafted. As busy as most of us are, why do we care to know all about a bunch of no-name players that we'll hardly ever hear of again? Beats me.

Hardly anyone is watching after the first two rounds, but how many great players come from the later rounds of the draft that no one is watching? Terrel Davis? Tom Brady? These guys went late, proved themselves and became worthy of the nation's time and attention. You earn respect, rather than have it thrust upon you by ESPN and sponsors. Teams overpay for hype and potential that have not been proven. It sounds a great deal like our financial markets and the joke that is executive compensation. We seem to have no problem paying losers and failures millions. I don't care if some QB is the second coming of a franchise to restore them to glory. The only second coming I want to hear about is the biblical one.

Last point of angst - why must all other sports coverage suffer for what is the equivalent of a reality show? The producers that hype the draft should go work for MTV, VH1 and the E channel if that's their bag. At least its all over after today and we can get back to "sports" as players prove themselves in competition, not interviews and combines.

Filthy Food

I've been to a few heart-attack inducing clubs lately that must be shared.

While in the great state of Kansas, I decided it was time to experience the only thing Kansas is good for: BBQ. The web was searched and all signs pointed to: Hog Wild Pit BBQ. Many would chastise me for eating so much grease, but the following clip explains why I could not resist:

http://us.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK//video/hulu/vi2603483161/

I arrived to find the place near capacity. Random country music serenaded my decision making process, setting me in a mellow mood. Wanting to be sure I tasted as much of the menu as possible, I ordered the 3 meat plate: Hot Links, Brisket and Ribs, accompanied by Texas Toast, Cole Slaw and Mashed Potatoes. [Monty Python holy grail ahhhhs sing in the background]

Within minutes the food was ready. Fast, Filthy & Fabulous. The "F" trifiecta. The hot sauce was phenomenal, not too sweet, some tang and a little heat to the tongue. The hot links were sensational when combined with the extra sauce. The sauce... I could drink a gallon of it or just dip the Texas Toast in it. I'm convinced the only toast they serve in heaven is Texas Toast. The brisket was so tender and smokey it fell apart on the fork. The ribs were outstanding. I embraced the experience of getting totally filthy. Good thing they had a roll of paper towels at the table. I went through 2 or 3 sheets.

The only shortcoming of this place? The instant mashed potatoes. The gravy was nothing special either. However, the slaw was excellent. I recall President Murphy telling me the best way to judge a BBQ joint is by their Cole slaw and this was some of the best I've ever had. If you are ever in Wichita, look this place up and fire up the treadmill. It will be worth it.

As I child, my brothers and I had a horrible sacrilegious practice of raising the pitch of our voices while praying for "the good times" as we knelt around the dinner table. My father got to the point where he censored it from our prayers, but it was still in our hearts. Recently, Jay and I discovered the "Good Times" in the form of such a named restaurant.

Normally I'd say fast food is OK at best, but the sirloin BBQ bacon burger I ordered there rivaled anything I've ever had from Red Robin. Throw in a drink and the surprisingly good Wild Fries and I'm getting a quality burger experience for half the cost. Good Times was born in Boulder and is all over Colorado so go get your filth on.

My final moment of filth comes from Pat's #1 diner, near the Target off Arapahoe near I-25. where they make authentic Philly Cheese steak. I took one Bob Frost, who had recently lost 200 lbs and gave up soda. He had a coke and gained back 100 lbs by the time we were done. No salad could undo the damage of Pat's. The bread was phenomenal. East coast good. To round out the Philly persona, this place offered Tasty Cakes and had a huge poster of Rocky. We rejoiced in the spoil, and you will too.

I think I'm due for 1,000 crunches and sit-ups now. But it was well worth it. STAY FILTHY PEOPLE!

What Adam Should be Singing

I'm going off the deep end. I sort of watched American Idol for a second week in a row. I should qualify that by saying I skipped through all of the performances, except for Adam Lambert and only watched Simon's comments. Yes, that is the show for me.

I unfortunately caught Paula giving yet another 'guru' somber and self-important line to Adam: "You dare to walk the path of greatness." Please. I'm convinced she has a comment coach that she works with or just practices in the mirror. So bad its almost entertaining.

After watching yet another great performance by Mr. Lambert, I've decided he was born in the wrong era. He should have been born in the early 70s so he could have capitalized on his talent as the greatest hair metal singer EVER. Just think about it. Here are a few guys of a similar style that he would blow out of the arena:

Rob Halford - Judas Priest

Bruce Dickenson - Iron Maiden (he also had a great SNL sketch with the Cowbell)

Joel DuBay - Powermad

Meatloaf - Meatloaf (Maybe he has a real name, but I don't care)

Skid Row - Sebastian Bach

Now that I've named a few stars imagine A-Lamb singing some of their greatest hits. They are on the left if you care to hear the old inferior versions.

Turbo Lover

Run to the Hills

Slaughterhouse

I would do Anything for Love

18 and Life

Too bad AI is so obsessed with pop music to stop this guy from finding his true calling as the world's greatest metal singer of all times.

Adam if you or the secret spies of AI are reading this, give up the pop, its time to rock. Perform these five songs for the rest of the season and you will become immortal.

Best Karakoe Performace of All Times

I don't watch American Idol or more appropirately "American Karaoke." But his has to be the finest moment in the show's history:

Ring Of Fire - Adam Lambert


My hair metal roots sang along in joy to this unusual but welcome arrangement to a Johnny Cash classic.

Annual Renewal Thoughts

"Oh Abe... you've aged terribly." - Grandma Simpson

• Yes, I'm now '38' and feeling my years. When I play basketball, people no longer laugh because of my shot selection or motion, its the sight of an ox lumbering to the hole or a man sticking out his chest to take a charge, only to have the offender run right around him for a lay-up.


• April fool's day always involves pranks. A good one I pulled on my mission was during my time in the office. We called two zone leaders at the same time on a conference call, hit the mute button and hoped they'd pick-up at the same time. Here is what ensued: "Hello / ...Hey! / How are you? / Gooooood... / And you? / Good / [5 second pause] So, what can I do ya for? / Me? / Yeah / You called me / No... you called me / What? / Look. The phone rang, I picked the phone, you were on the other end... WHAT DO YOU WANT!? / Dude. You called me. / I did not! - At that point we unmuted our laughter. Good times.


• When I was a senior in High School seminary, I made a Freshman drink eight cups of water on a dare that he couldn't do it in under 10 seconds (4 oz cups). We lined up the cups and he started chugging. He wound up puking after the third cup. The teacher ran into the kitchen furious with me and made me sit right in front of her with no one allowed to sit around me for the rest of the semester.


• Jay Culter is a whiny spoiled brat and I say good riddance. Josh McDaniels clearly has no sense of tact and will ruin our franchise. Buzz (the agent) is pond scum and deserves to have all his players taken from him Jerry McGuire style, minus finding the Quan and should be left to live in a van, down by the river.


• The Denver Sports media are the most asinine, repetitive and unbalanced bunch in the country. 4 hours a day talking about Jay with his panties in a bind and who said this and who said that... blah, blah, blah. The NUGGETS ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR BEST SEASON LIKE EVER!!! TALK ABOUT THEM YOU IDIOTS!!! Maybe they can't because the don't know anything about basketball, match ups, playoff implications, injuries, trades, the coach, strategy... NOOOOO. That would be too useful and entertaining. Yes, this is a Football town, always will be, but let's enjoy a good thing while its here rather than completely ignore it.

OK. I'm done. Hope you all feel special today like I do. Because in the end, we're all special and we are all unique. I'm gonna go get my cake on. MOSIT. YEAH!!

The Meaning of Life

Welcome to the Hotel California. This phrase from an Eagles song evokes thoughts of the desert, a classic melody and unusual lyrics. But I’ve never caught the warm smell of Colitas rising up through the air. And why can’t that guy ever leave the hotel? Is this song about drug use, prostitutes, greed/wealth or all the above? With Tommy Boy I say, ‘What kind of hotel is this??”

My answer: I don’t know. I enjoy the song and each time the lyrics mean something a bit different to me (when I actually think about them). Is there a modern lyrical mystery on par with the Hotel California? I think there is and it contains the phrase, “But that was when I ruled the world.”

In a prior post I reviewed Coldplay’s Viva la Vida album and mentioned I would make no attempt to break down the lyrics. Now that speculation has matured, I think its time to give my take.

The song appears to be the thoughts of a fallen dictator or ruler. The question is - who is the subject of the lyrics? Coldplay offers no official interpretation, likely because to do so would ruin the song and make it politics rather than art. Here are some of my favorite answers from various blogs and discussion threads.

Napoleon Bonaparte
Tiberius
Julius Caesar
Jesus Christ (see the answer in the first link below - I'm not being disrespectful)
Barry Bonds
Dick Cheney

Here are links discussing these ideas.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080603184655AAA18zW

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_meaning_of_Coldplay

I think the question of exactly who is off course. This song appears to be about ideas rather than one person. Nearly every self-improvement book or speaker I’ve ever heard centers around control, particularly self-control. We hold the idea of being in control of our lives as a high ideal, only achieved by the greatest of humanity. Each of us would like to rule the world, at least our own sphere of influence.

“Never an honest word, but that was when I ruled the world…” If we think we control our own sphere of life we are lying to ourselves. Sure we always have our will to choose our actions and reactions, but no one has ever successfully controlled everyone one and everything around them. Perhaps the secret of achieving Viva la Vida – the joy of life lies in giving up the illusion or dream of control. Enjoy the journey and its bumps.

Despite the regretful meaning of the lyrics, the song is upbeat and playful. I see this as the soul of the dictator or control freak that realized life is for living and to enjoy the moments. I don’t mean we should give up discipline, goals or hard work, but rather enjoy the journey and each moment in it. A wise Apostle, Elder Wirthlin recently said “Come what may and love it.” Perhaps we need to quit obsessing over every little thing that isn't essential. The Lord himself said, "Their heart are set so much upon the things of this world... Hence many are called, but few are chosen."

So on my 38th birthday [wink], I'll wish for the joy of the Watermelons (Frida's painting) to overpower my life and I'll enjoy the journey, rather than obsess controling things I cannot control. Ciao baby.

Prima Drama

I'm hyper-ventilating into a bag as I type this. I'm sick of seeing the Broncos turn into the Raiders part Deux. Dove Valley is going up in flames, little bunnies are running in all directions screaming and no one seems to be able to put out the fire Pat Bowlen ignited with the firing of Mike Shannahan.

I see in the papers this morning that Jay Cutler has demanded a trade after the botched attempt to fire him in favor of Matt Cassell. Josh McDaniels got too happy with the wrecking ball and its now swung back into him... Homer Simpson style. DOH!!!

Honestly, I think I'm about to quit caring about this team for the next five years since we'll probably be a train wreck for that long. Am I sad we are likely to loose Cutler? Yes, he is a great talent. But the man clearly is no professional and a whining brat. To make his displeasure known, he has listed his 4BR, 7BA 7,516 SF house in Castle Pines on the market for sale at $2,000,000. He paid $1.34M for it in 2006. As an appriaser, his asking 49.25% increase in value over the last three years is absurd when prices have remained flat or declining during that time span. It is an insult to all homeowners in the Mile High City. The man clearly has his head in the clouds and lives in "everyone kisses my butt" land. This is the guy who's supposed to lead us back to a Championship? I predict he'll wind up drunk on a reality show.

It was a good run there. Nearly 30 years as one of the best run organizations in the league. Now we're the organizational equivalent of Terrel Owens. Let's replace the Bronco logo with the Satan Stallion out at DIA. May as well, since it appears the devil himself is trying to ruin my team.

P.S. - this is written in the heat of the moment and I reserve the right to quickly change my opinion and jump back on the bandwagon if it starts rolling again.

180 in Space

As many of you know, I'm old-school Star Wars fan. I've never dressed up for a show or gone to a convention, but I know the original trilogy so well I can practically quote it verbatim. When I was a kid, I begged my mom to put Sun-In into my hair so I could be blond like Luke Skywalker. Tom and I used to have violent, destructive pillow fights where we would shout things like, "MEET YOUR DESTINY!!" before hurling a pillow across the room. As I kid, I could be a Star Wars fan and it was cool. I never once had someone give me grief over it.

For whatever reason, I saw Star Trek differently. It just had 'nerdy' attached to it. Bill Shatner was busy ripping on it himself with SNL skits "You... Have you ever kissed a girl?" For me it was a lack of explosions, lightsabers, death-stars and Darth Vader. As a young kid those things got my blood boiling more than "beam me up" and people shooting each other with guns that looked like remote controls.

But the tide appears to be changing. First George Lucas decided to blaspheme his own creation and viloate a sacred rule found in Revelations 22:18-19 "DON'T ADD TO OR TAKE AWAY, FROM SACRED WORK!!!" I loathe the special editions of the original trilogy. He corrupted the greatest Saga ever and gave us a taste of the garbage to come (I have a bad feeling about this). We all know the pre-quel trilogy had some moments, but it is basically a poor Pixar movie with a few live actors trying to survive horrible plot and dialouge. Before we knew it, spoofs of Star Wars were everywhere and Darth Vader became the king of unintentional comedy with Youtube hits like Chad Vader. I won't even breathe on the Clone Wars movie. With Obi-Wan I lament... now the Jedi are all but extict.

Who can step foward and reclaim Space, the final fronter? None other than a re-boot of Star Trek, that looks very promising.

In my typical Nostradamus fashion, I predict the new Trek film will become what Star Wars fans were hoping for when the pre-quels came out. I see a revenge of the Nerds, the beginning of something we can all enjoy. I'm getting geeked out. Beam me up.

The Lana Zone

I used to watch Smallville, the story of Clark Kent (AKA Superman) on a regular basis. In this show, Clark is consistently pining over his childhood crush, Lana. She is wonderful, smart, sweet and innocent. All the good guys want to protect her and all the bad guys want to hurt her.

Gradually, the show looses sight of the "Hero" and becomes obsessed with Lana. She dominates the plot with 5 to 10 minute stretches of meaningless, tiresome and redundant dialogue... about feelings. Eventually, I joined the KILL LANA group hoping to remove her from the show so I could get my Man card back. Every time they pretended to kill her off, I rejoiced, only to have my hopes crushed when she kept retuning from the dead.

Women that annoy, die and return to life...

Smallville eventually fell of my radar due to the Lana syndrome. Ghastly piles of pointless, shriveled lip dialogue that only serve as filler material since special effects and plot are too expensive. That perfectly describes the last episode of Heroes, the show that replaced Smallville for me in the "comic book" department.

But alas, "All is not well in Zion." Heroes has a Lana. Her name is Claire Bennett. Here are the ways she takes us into the Lana Zone, where a good show become unbearable:

• "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World" - Yes every good guy wants to protect her and all the baddies want to kill her - cliche.
• Claire Bear is overly sweet and good intentioned like High Fructose Corn Syrup.
• Claire has issues with parents (real Dad AWOL), 2nd string dad works an odd job. Real Mom just got blown up, 2nd string Mom just admitted to having a crush on the Def Leppard bassist. None of them can make her happy. "I WANT AN UMPALUMPA NOW!!"
• She is constantly whining [peeling the skin off my body]
• Incessant speeches about trust, when she gives or inspires little of it.
• Always looking to prove herself and help people at her own peril, but just winds up in trouble, followed by more whining after being saved.
• Has a complex that her ultra cuteness is hurting people around her (yes the world does revolve around her -ugh).

Unfortunately, a show with the likes of Peter, Sylar, Nuclear Ted and Hiro Nakamura is constantly having its legs under-cut by a whiny, feelings obsessed brat. I have a confession to make: I skipped over every scene with Claire and Aqua-man last week and didn't feel like I missed anything.

This is still one of my favorite shows, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hang on. Therefore, I'm starting the DEATH TO CLAIRE BENNETT-PETRELLI CLUB!!!

[And there was much Rejoicing - yea...]

Like most activists, we'll just whine and chain ourselves to things in public, as we sing annoying songs. You came here for the good times and I deliver.

Man Child!

Yesterday I became the proud father of a son. Hopefully, I'll avoid turning him into a complete meathead. Often, parents purchase a newspaper to show a child what was happening in the world when they were born. My son has the distinction of his paper closing after more than 150 years of publication on the day of his birth! I used to throw the Rocky Mountain News as a kid and love the death / birth overtones.

I often hear boys are easier, and thus far its held true. Like any good male, he showed up to eat and sleep and is proficient at both. Perhaps this is becuase the kids and I have been reading a bunch of Garfiled during the pregnancy.

As if the day were not sweet enough, the cub and I were treated to a rare victory of the Nuggets over the Los Angeles Lakers. His first sports game ever, and I didn't yell and freak him out either. Perfect day.

Sad

For some reason, the Nuggets have an affinity for getting blown out by elite Eastern Conference foes at home. Especially when I show up to the game. My first outing was to see King James and he killed us 105-88. We were down by nearly 20 the entire game and it was never in question. Then, a Dallas game that was thrilling. I suppose it was a gift from the basketball gods for my daughter's first NBA game, coming down to the last second in a 99-97 win. Tonight I witnessed another complete show of ineptitude. Boston came in without KG and annihilated us 114-76. Toward the end I was practically cheering for a 40-point loss. To top it off, 1/5 of the crowd were Celtic fans who thoroughly enjoyed the game. A friend of mine nearly saw a couple's death match as passions ran high during the game. That was the highlight. Sad.

In three games I've seen a total score of 316 - 263, resulting in a 53 point loss total. Its like the Broncos and the Chargers all over gain. Hit me... OUCH! ... AGAIN! ... can't feel anything [sigh]. I am a homer, but this went beyond the pain of loosing to sheer apathy for me. Perhaps I'll stay at home until my team gets some heart and decides to stop taking the night off when people drop good coin to see them play. How sad.

25 Songs

Another challenge completed that I'll post on here for posterity. It is 25 songs at random on my Windows Media Player on my work computer, so I didn't have all of my stuff, but here it goes:

1.NFL Films – Power and the Glory
2.Han Solo Returns – Return of the Jedi Soundtrack
3.Best of My Love – Eagles Greatest Hits 1
4.Eine Kleine Nachtmusic – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
5.Country Road – James Taylor
6.Never Let You Go – Third Eye Blind
7.Vogue – Madonna
8.California Dreamin – The Mammas & The Pappas
9.Rich Girl – Gwen Stefani
10.My Sharona – The Knack
11.The Map Room – Raiders of the Lost Ark Soundtrack
12.Whip It – Devo
13.A Whole New World – Some Piano Guy covering the song
14.Hallelujah Chorus – Handel
15.You Learn – Alanis Morissette
16.You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You – Dean Martin
17.Witness – Sarah McLachlan
18.New Year’s Day – U2
19.Bad Cops – Simpsons cover of the theme song to the ol reality show
20.Californication – Red Hot Chili Peppers
21.Suburbia – Pet Shop Boys
22.Let’s Stay Together – Al Green
23.Song for my Father – Horace Silver
24.Are You That Somebody? – Aaliyah
25.Get Back – The Beatles

Good Times. I was thrilled to see Power and the Glory come out on top. Not sure I can divine any meaning from this list. I once took one of those hokey email personality tests that told me "Turbo Lover" from Judas Priest is the themesong of my life. I'm a bit dissapointed random selection kept it off the list... I guess I'm no longer a Turbo Lover.

India & the DAM

Happy Valentines Day. Friday the 13th was memorable, I had my black cat stalking me all day, but no damage done. Last night I was treated to two unconventional but fantastic experiences. I'm talking about some crazy good Indian food and modern art.

India's Castle - For the 2.1 people that read my blog in Colorado, if you have not been to this place, get out there. Ever since I left Provo and the Bombay House, I've been looking for a comparable Indian restaurant and have actually found something better. The Boss and I dined on Chicken Ticca Masala and Chicken Ticca Bhoona served with rice and garlic Naan bread. I was in heaven. Smoothest Masala I've ever tasted, the Bhoona had a wonderful tang and the peppers were excellent. They offer a complimentary Indian rice pudding (small portion) at the end of the meal as well.

Most of the dishes are $11 to $15 but are well worth it and could easily be shared for two people. If you've never tried Indian, this is the place to do it. The atmosphere is warm and our server was very helpful with the menu. I probably could have done without the "gratis" belly-dancing. Nothing against the performer, but I just don't do well with finger cymbals and undulating navels in my grill while I'm savoring some good food.

http://www.indiascastle.com/.

The DAM (Denver Art Museum) - Considering its unique architectural design and enjoyable collection, I'd guess this may be one of the most underrated museums in the country.

My younger brother got me into modern art, which I know many people hate, but I love the abnormal so I had a great time. The DAM also has a wide variety of art from most periods and styles, but I didn't get far beyond the modern stuff. I'll have most of you know, its not just kids paintings with some unknown meaning. Most of what I enjoy are the odd sculptures, themed exhibits and multi-media presentations. I won't ruin it for you by describing the art, it needs to be experienced and for $10/person, it is well worthwhile. I will say that Linda disturbed me, but then I realized my feelings were more about my insecurities projected onto the work rather than the piece itself. The following photo is of the interior of the building which has LED pannels everywhere telling the story of local Denverites.


Getting immersed in art reminds me of the beauty and variety the world has to offer that gets lost in the daily grind. Like most modern art, several items are raw or disturbing (nothing pornographic), but serve to make us think about difficult aspects of life. Overall, I highly recommend this, but probably not for the kids.

http://www.denverartmuseum.org/home

Sit Down

I've had strong feelings about the right time to quit for sometime and keep forgetting to put this list down. There are some people that just don't know when to be done and save their legacy.

Here's how my list will be executed. There is $12.4 Billion in funding from Barry's stimulus package for a "Concern for Career Control Panel" in Los Angeles, otherwise known as the C.C.C.P. Naturally the folks in Hollywood will march right into it. Here are the first targets they'll pursue with the unassailable might of their money (in order from least to wost):

• Brett Farve - I've mentioned him before on this site. Man-Crush drives me nuts. He should have quit after the first retirement announcement. $50 says the current retirement announcement doesn't stick.


• Ozzy Osborne - Don't you feel bad for this guy? He mumbles around like a crazed idiot whenever I see him on TV. He recently cancelled his 2009 Ozzfest to make a new album. Heavy Metal is a young man's genre. At 61, you are done making metal. Sit down Ozzy, enjoy the spoils and quit ruining your "Total, Metal" legacy.


• Verne Troyer - Best known as "Mini-me" needs to quit or wait for the next Willow sequel to happen. Yes, I somehow finished the Love Guru and this guy has outlasted his usefulness. You know when a sex tape leaks out about you, and its the only thing you have going, its time to quit.


• Maddona - Her ex-husband said it best: "You look like a grandma up there with your back-up dancers" Don't preach, you're in trouble deep. There's no greater power than the power of... Goodbye.


• Sly Stallone - I've railed on him in the past in my Rocky Balboa post. At least that film was respectable. The resurrection of Rambo? No. The guy just looks like he's made out of plastic and those dog-gone eyebrows continue to annoy me. It was a good career. Stallone gave me some of my favorite childhood movie memories with Rocky, but his time to be an action star has passed. Its as though we are watching the Russian beat him to a pulp and Apollo's ex-trainer is yelling: "Throw the towel!!! Throw the damn towel!!!"

I welcome your additions to the list, or any honorable mentions that knew when to bow out. Have a nice day.

A-Fraud & Us

If there is one thing I hate to hear on sports talk radio, its the steroid mob. However, this go-round with A-Fraud, A-Wad, whatever you want to call him has been intriguing. Not because of the steroid issue, but because we are now focusing on the ethics of honesty, apologies, forgiveness and how our society values the truth.

Many have felt A-Rod's apology was not sincere since he had no other options. In a matter of 48 hours since the story broke, he was tried and convicted in the court of public opinion. Sad thing is, most of us expected him to be guilty. We assume our stars and people in power are corrupt. So why should A-Rod risk defying the mob/congress and perjure himself? Things aren't going well for Bonds and Clemens. At least A-Rod decided to apologize and not waste any more tax payer time and money.

But who are we to blame him for not apologizing sooner? How many of us broke something in the house as a kid, swept it under the rug/stairs and hoped we'd never get caught? It happens all the time in our private an professional lives. We generally don't own up to mistakes and falsehoods unless we have to. Often, we assume that to do such a thing is stupid or unnecessary. A-Rod is no different. I find it very hypocritical that people are busting his chops over this.

I accept his apology and find it to be sincere. However, I'm sure its not the whole truth and its difficult to trust that he has been clean since 2003. So what? I think we'll be upset for a year, then it will gradually blow over. Look at Kobe, his scandal is a few years past and people hardly act like it happened. Phelps will sell Wheaties and Speedos once again when his sport becomes relevant in 4 years. I suppose its good to be an athlete where your mistakes can usually be forgiven, so long as you perform. Perhaps that's why our Senators and Congressmen go down in the flames of scandal so quickly... none of them produce results we care about. Perhaps that's why its so hard to take down a corporate executive, because they have a close-knit group of people/golf-friends that think they did great things for them.

Hide the truth from me so long as you are making my life better. Ignorance is bliss.

Personally, A-Rod does nothing for me and I'd bet 98.7% of the population. So why forgive him? For me, it is a Christian imperative or simply: the right thing to do. Whatever our reasons, we should forgive, the same way we would want to be forgiven. It doesn't mean we have to like the guy or celebrate his records, but perhaps we'll all be better off by forgiving and moving on, rather than dwelling on how much we hate him.

Why Speed Racer Bombed

I was recently invited to view Speed Racer by a fellow blogger who loved it. I was under the impression the movie was a terrible failure. Why? It scored a 36% on the Rotten Tomatoes meter (compiles hundreds of critics reviews), where good films usually score above 75%. Basically, 36% on this scale is an F---- and no, that's not a swear word. Box Office Mojo reports a production budget of $120M and the total wold-wide gross was $98M. That doesn't include likely marketing costs of $30, which would wipe out any pitiful DVD sales, making this a $30 to $50M mistake.



Was this movie that bad? No. This flick was misguided on its target audience. The W-Bros shot for a PG rated, kid friendly film, but tried to throw in serious messages about death, and devilish corporations, a cocktail that is sure to cause a hang-over for a 10-year old. Another major problem, this movie had Jar-Jar Binks syndrome with the kid and his chimp (Major Death Knell).

The answers to making this film gross near $200M are simple.

• Keep the action, the pacing, the beautiful and vivid cinematography, even the fighting cars. Suspending reality is not the problem.
• Less CGI would be helpful - it would loose the Jar-Jar/Starwars "nothing is real" feel
  
• Get rid of the kid and his monkey or make them very minor characters
  
• Drop 20 F-bombs and 10 S-bombs to make plenty of "tough guy" racing talk
• Throw in two totally unnecessary nude scenes and a gratuitous sex scene
• Embrace the Mortal Kombat factor: show genuine blood and violence
• Give us death: make several drivers die per race, none of this saved by foam egg stuff
• Have Speed sign a contract to race for Team Obama and "Change" - we love that word.
  

You guessed it! I'm saying any movie can be saved by a bunch of sex and violence. Go team Satan! The W-Bros should have embraced the corporate demonized ideology they rail on. Here are some typical corporate strategies to market a movie:

• Swear words make most of us feel grown up, real, respected and intelligent.
• How many guys have sat through excruciatingly boring films if they thought there was a slight chance of some nudity?
• Death always makes things more entertaining. 300 got this right.
• Buckets of blood make people happy. Once again, 300 got this right.
• Railing on corporations is much more accepted in R-rated films (Wall-e being the exception). IE - Fast Food Nation, Fight Club, Erin Brockovich, Any Given Sunday, Boiler Room, to name a few

So, if you don't want to see a bunch of sex and brutal violence, can get past Jar-Jar and enjoy tons of CGI action, this movie is for you and possibly your kids.

P.S. - Perhaps they should have just made this a really cool video game and scraped the movie.
P.P.S - Death Race stunk too and it apparently had all of my R-rated recommendations. Perhaps nothing could save this movie. Maybe Americans just hate Japanese Anime adaptation. Look out Dragon Ball Z!

P.P.P.S - I adored the pancake scene: "Pancakes are love."

Too Much Family Time

Loved this clip about a head coach getting his priorities straight.

25 Random Things

I just busted my hump for this elsewhere, so I may as well get some extra mileage out of it:

1. At the age of 3, I climbed the organ pipes at church while my mother was speaking. Dad was asleep. I made up about 9-feet before I was pulled to saftey for a beating.
2. My favorite color is blue... No! Yelllooooooooo
3. I had braces - on my teeth.
4. I can take amazing pictures of myself while driving thanks to my mad skillz as an appraisaler. 5. I have an innie not an outie belly button.
6. Often I go through food fetishes: once I ate nothing but racoon meat hot-dogs with hot sauce, immitation cheese and tortillas during dinner for a month.
7. I can't play any instruments, being the one child my mother could not teach the piano.
8. I sang choir in HS so I could play football, and now I sing (not well) for enjoyment.
9. I've created a small collection of techno music I made in college - a roomate described it as "The music they play in hell."
10. I'm known in some circles as "Negative Nancy" and "Positive Peter."
11. I prefert to ski rather than snowboard.
12. I've given up on music, generally favoring sport and ultra-conservative talk radio.
13. Running from and killing the Predator and Darth Vader are recurring dreams that have plauged me over the years.
14. I'm a huge fan of Christmas and try to over-do it every year, Griswold style.
15. My kids crack me up all the time. Best comic relief a man can get at the end of the day.
16. I have one of the ugliest basketball styles in the history of mankind.
17. I was a state champion in football, but didn't get a ring because I was too cheap.
18. I've lived in CO, MA, CA and NV.
19. Left my wife on Valenties day to interview with Sears in Chicago during college. Accidentally slept in the next morning. It wasn't meant to be.
20. If I don't talk while I'm eating, it means I'm enjoying my food. If you made it, take that as the highest compliment I can bestow.
21. I fight for every last scrap of cold cereal due to extreeme childhood deprivation.
22. Love 80s hair metal.
23. I am a minor-leauge audio/visualphile. Give me loud, exploding movies. Just ask my wife, I get obsessed. I'll set up your system for fun.
24. I've been nearly arrested for a drive-by shooting and potentially holding up a strip-center with a plastic uzi. Both cases earned me guns pointed up my nose.
25. Despite what everyone says, I like fruit. Just not Pears, Peeches, etc. You know, the mushie stuff. I also despise dried fruit. Its for elves and fairies. Fresh Pineapple, Bananas, Grapes and Apples are my staples in this food category.

Monday Morning Quarterback

Much like everything going on these days, our hopes have been crushed. In a painful way. Am I that much of a Cardinals fan? No. But it would have been nice to see the Cinderella team of the NFL, the flagship of American hope in a dark time sail into the sunset. Instead Darth Vader's minions set it on fire after a game that equated to a bag over the head/stomach punch for the Cardinals.

I'm convinced Darth has given Big-Ben a force field generator. How else could that guy have so many people around him all the time and not get sacked? James Harrison's (#92, the guy that ran back the interception) agent must have been doing cartwheels when his client made that huge play, then was ripping his hair out after the cameras got a first hand look at him beating that Cardinals blocker like the girlfriend he assaulted back in May 2008. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3284544) I bet she was watching that going, "That right! that's what it was like every day!!!" ESPN is calling the Steelers "America's Team," I find that only to be true in the sense that they have become America's most hated team, behind the Patriots of course (I love the irony in that).

To be fair, the Steelers are the better team, controlled most of the game, played very tough and their fans deserve it much more than the ultimate band-wagon fans in AZ. I still think had the Cards won, consumer confidence would have climbed 1 point. (Don't ask me for my algorithm I used to make that calculation).

Fixing Overtime

During a long road-trip this week I had an epiphany while listening to endless coverage of the upcoming Superbowl. The topic was NFL overtime, some love it, others hate it. I'm make it clear right now that I'm a hater.

Why should any athletic contest be decided by a coin toss? Of course the defense has a chance to stop the offense, but let's face it, the game is geared for offense, most of the penalties favor offense and teams don't even need to score a touchdown. All it takes is a few first downs, a kick, and its over.

Boo.

For instance. Earlier this year the Chargers may have beaten the Colts regardless of the overtime format, but the refs handed them three very questionable calls that kept their drive alive until they scored. No chance for the venerable Peyton Manning to create some drama and answer back. That would be too interesting. Just cut to commercial, pay your taxes and shut your mouth. NFL overtime stinks.

I have not come to just whine today, I have a solution. Let's put the "foot" back in football. Let's get the equal opportunity of college football back into overtime. Give me a shoot-out. I say we can have it all. Here is my ideal overtime format:

• First overtime, college format but from the 40, not the 25.
• Second overtime, if the first ends in a tie, we move on to the shoot-out. Each kicker gets a try with an opposing blocking unit from the 45. If they tie, keep moving it back 5 yards to a 55 yard field goal.
• If both teams survive that, we repeat the process. Until a winner is PROVEN.

This allows the NFL to remain unique from the college game, and will create tremendous drama for America's #1 sport, making it even better than before. Think of the pressure upon scoring a touchdown and deciding whether or not to go for 2 in an NFL game. The nerve-racking anxiety of multiple field goals, Can you feel it? - Just do it!! I'm lovin it!!

If you disagree, I hope you enjoy your Vegas CRAP-shoot games where the refs significantly control the outcome. For all those with the competitive flame burning bright in their souls, who dream of a better tomorrow and the dawning of a new era... join me. Change is what we need, not overtime as usual. We can change the system. We will change the system and the future has never looked brighter. YES WE CAN!!