Dead Man Walking

On Friday, I entertained two Elders from the Mormon Church of the Saints of the Last Days who were about to die.

In Missionary lingo, we refer to going home at the end of our two years as "dying." We also refer to the companion we had at the time as "the one who killed me." See  this prior post for an example of this usage. http://fletchword.blogspot.com/2014/08/circle-of-reign.html

Typically, we have minimal advice for actual dead men walking other than deathbed repentance. However when a missionary is "dying" their life is just getting started. If I could go back and give some words of wisdom to myself and these two Elders here are some key points:

• Fundamentals: Continue to study your scriptures, pray sincerely, attend church, temple and magnify your callings. Follow the Prophet. Hard to be led astray when these things are part of your life. 
• Mission Goggles: This is a real thing. When you get home and especially if you are going to Mecca (Provo), practically every girl you see is going to look like a super-model. This is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Give yourself six months before seriously dating anyone. You need some time to re-adjust and it will make you less creepy to most women. Trust me, ask any woman who has been single in this environment and they will confirm. 
• Career: You probably still don't know exactly what you are going to do with yourself. Don't stress. Finding yourself in your 20s is The American Way. You've started finding yourself by serving the Lord. Now build on that and don't be afraid to pursue what you are truly interested in. Continue becoming your best self and the right career will find you. 
• Porn: Yeah, I said that. Its a challenge before and after your mission. Getting married doesn't make it much easier either as the taboo of sex "seems" to have been lifted. Understanding the Atonement and keeping no secrets is critical. If you can't have a frank discussion about this topic and how its impacted you with your parents/Bishop or especially your fiancee (near the time of proposal or before) then I would say that is a bad sign and get help. Like it or not, this is something that shapes our culture and views about sexuality and cannot be ignored. Walking in the light and in the open can be painful at times. But this is better than suffering in the shadows and hurting those around you. 
• Marriage: I came home with the goal of being a bachelor until 25. Naturally, I wound up married almost one year to the day after I got home. 
• Those who want to get married and pursue it like a career often wind up single into their late 20s and 30s. 
• Don't sweat marriage, have fun and focus on school/career and you'll be sealed before you can say "I wanted her to be an 8 cow woman." 
• Don't Rush: Life is a journey, not a destination. Its okay to live in a crummy apartment with no money and shop at thrift stores. In fact it will teach you humility and give you an appreciation of things later in life. You also don't have to get married and have 5 kids under the age of 8 and make 200K+ per year. This is just keeping up with the world and is not a path to happiness. Do things for the right reasons. Charity. What kid want to say I'm here so my parents could feel less guilty? Your spouse and kids will thank you for being motivated by Love and not the Jones. 
• Keep Serving: When I got back, one of the hardest things for me was transitioning from a life of 24/7 service to what seemed like a very selfish life. School, marriage, kids, career, it all seemed so self-centered. But I've learned over the years that helping others be happy along the way has been one of the keys to happiness. Yes, it will be different; but think of it as serving on a more personal level, without any pretext or obligation. 
• Faith is a Choice: Nothing will ever be perfectly explained and your testimony may come under fire. As Elder Holland says, 
• "...hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes...In this Church, what we know will always trump what we do not know. And remember, in this world, everyone is to walk by faith...So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women." 
• https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng

Well, that's about all your Sesame Street attention spans can handle. Good luck and enjoy the ride!