Man Child!

Yesterday I became the proud father of a son. Hopefully, I'll avoid turning him into a complete meathead. Often, parents purchase a newspaper to show a child what was happening in the world when they were born. My son has the distinction of his paper closing after more than 150 years of publication on the day of his birth! I used to throw the Rocky Mountain News as a kid and love the death / birth overtones.

I often hear boys are easier, and thus far its held true. Like any good male, he showed up to eat and sleep and is proficient at both. Perhaps this is becuase the kids and I have been reading a bunch of Garfiled during the pregnancy.

As if the day were not sweet enough, the cub and I were treated to a rare victory of the Nuggets over the Los Angeles Lakers. His first sports game ever, and I didn't yell and freak him out either. Perfect day.

Sad

For some reason, the Nuggets have an affinity for getting blown out by elite Eastern Conference foes at home. Especially when I show up to the game. My first outing was to see King James and he killed us 105-88. We were down by nearly 20 the entire game and it was never in question. Then, a Dallas game that was thrilling. I suppose it was a gift from the basketball gods for my daughter's first NBA game, coming down to the last second in a 99-97 win. Tonight I witnessed another complete show of ineptitude. Boston came in without KG and annihilated us 114-76. Toward the end I was practically cheering for a 40-point loss. To top it off, 1/5 of the crowd were Celtic fans who thoroughly enjoyed the game. A friend of mine nearly saw a couple's death match as passions ran high during the game. That was the highlight. Sad.

In three games I've seen a total score of 316 - 263, resulting in a 53 point loss total. Its like the Broncos and the Chargers all over gain. Hit me... OUCH! ... AGAIN! ... can't feel anything [sigh]. I am a homer, but this went beyond the pain of loosing to sheer apathy for me. Perhaps I'll stay at home until my team gets some heart and decides to stop taking the night off when people drop good coin to see them play. How sad.

25 Songs

Another challenge completed that I'll post on here for posterity. It is 25 songs at random on my Windows Media Player on my work computer, so I didn't have all of my stuff, but here it goes:

1.NFL Films – Power and the Glory
2.Han Solo Returns – Return of the Jedi Soundtrack
3.Best of My Love – Eagles Greatest Hits 1
4.Eine Kleine Nachtmusic – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
5.Country Road – James Taylor
6.Never Let You Go – Third Eye Blind
7.Vogue – Madonna
8.California Dreamin – The Mammas & The Pappas
9.Rich Girl – Gwen Stefani
10.My Sharona – The Knack
11.The Map Room – Raiders of the Lost Ark Soundtrack
12.Whip It – Devo
13.A Whole New World – Some Piano Guy covering the song
14.Hallelujah Chorus – Handel
15.You Learn – Alanis Morissette
16.You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You – Dean Martin
17.Witness – Sarah McLachlan
18.New Year’s Day – U2
19.Bad Cops – Simpsons cover of the theme song to the ol reality show
20.Californication – Red Hot Chili Peppers
21.Suburbia – Pet Shop Boys
22.Let’s Stay Together – Al Green
23.Song for my Father – Horace Silver
24.Are You That Somebody? – Aaliyah
25.Get Back – The Beatles

Good Times. I was thrilled to see Power and the Glory come out on top. Not sure I can divine any meaning from this list. I once took one of those hokey email personality tests that told me "Turbo Lover" from Judas Priest is the themesong of my life. I'm a bit dissapointed random selection kept it off the list... I guess I'm no longer a Turbo Lover.

India & the DAM

Happy Valentines Day. Friday the 13th was memorable, I had my black cat stalking me all day, but no damage done. Last night I was treated to two unconventional but fantastic experiences. I'm talking about some crazy good Indian food and modern art.

India's Castle - For the 2.1 people that read my blog in Colorado, if you have not been to this place, get out there. Ever since I left Provo and the Bombay House, I've been looking for a comparable Indian restaurant and have actually found something better. The Boss and I dined on Chicken Ticca Masala and Chicken Ticca Bhoona served with rice and garlic Naan bread. I was in heaven. Smoothest Masala I've ever tasted, the Bhoona had a wonderful tang and the peppers were excellent. They offer a complimentary Indian rice pudding (small portion) at the end of the meal as well.

Most of the dishes are $11 to $15 but are well worth it and could easily be shared for two people. If you've never tried Indian, this is the place to do it. The atmosphere is warm and our server was very helpful with the menu. I probably could have done without the "gratis" belly-dancing. Nothing against the performer, but I just don't do well with finger cymbals and undulating navels in my grill while I'm savoring some good food.

http://www.indiascastle.com/.

The DAM (Denver Art Museum) - Considering its unique architectural design and enjoyable collection, I'd guess this may be one of the most underrated museums in the country.

My younger brother got me into modern art, which I know many people hate, but I love the abnormal so I had a great time. The DAM also has a wide variety of art from most periods and styles, but I didn't get far beyond the modern stuff. I'll have most of you know, its not just kids paintings with some unknown meaning. Most of what I enjoy are the odd sculptures, themed exhibits and multi-media presentations. I won't ruin it for you by describing the art, it needs to be experienced and for $10/person, it is well worthwhile. I will say that Linda disturbed me, but then I realized my feelings were more about my insecurities projected onto the work rather than the piece itself. The following photo is of the interior of the building which has LED pannels everywhere telling the story of local Denverites.


Getting immersed in art reminds me of the beauty and variety the world has to offer that gets lost in the daily grind. Like most modern art, several items are raw or disturbing (nothing pornographic), but serve to make us think about difficult aspects of life. Overall, I highly recommend this, but probably not for the kids.

http://www.denverartmuseum.org/home

Sit Down

I've had strong feelings about the right time to quit for sometime and keep forgetting to put this list down. There are some people that just don't know when to be done and save their legacy.

Here's how my list will be executed. There is $12.4 Billion in funding from Barry's stimulus package for a "Concern for Career Control Panel" in Los Angeles, otherwise known as the C.C.C.P. Naturally the folks in Hollywood will march right into it. Here are the first targets they'll pursue with the unassailable might of their money (in order from least to wost):

• Brett Farve - I've mentioned him before on this site. Man-Crush drives me nuts. He should have quit after the first retirement announcement. $50 says the current retirement announcement doesn't stick.


• Ozzy Osborne - Don't you feel bad for this guy? He mumbles around like a crazed idiot whenever I see him on TV. He recently cancelled his 2009 Ozzfest to make a new album. Heavy Metal is a young man's genre. At 61, you are done making metal. Sit down Ozzy, enjoy the spoils and quit ruining your "Total, Metal" legacy.


• Verne Troyer - Best known as "Mini-me" needs to quit or wait for the next Willow sequel to happen. Yes, I somehow finished the Love Guru and this guy has outlasted his usefulness. You know when a sex tape leaks out about you, and its the only thing you have going, its time to quit.


• Maddona - Her ex-husband said it best: "You look like a grandma up there with your back-up dancers" Don't preach, you're in trouble deep. There's no greater power than the power of... Goodbye.


• Sly Stallone - I've railed on him in the past in my Rocky Balboa post. At least that film was respectable. The resurrection of Rambo? No. The guy just looks like he's made out of plastic and those dog-gone eyebrows continue to annoy me. It was a good career. Stallone gave me some of my favorite childhood movie memories with Rocky, but his time to be an action star has passed. Its as though we are watching the Russian beat him to a pulp and Apollo's ex-trainer is yelling: "Throw the towel!!! Throw the damn towel!!!"

I welcome your additions to the list, or any honorable mentions that knew when to bow out. Have a nice day.

A-Fraud & Us

If there is one thing I hate to hear on sports talk radio, its the steroid mob. However, this go-round with A-Fraud, A-Wad, whatever you want to call him has been intriguing. Not because of the steroid issue, but because we are now focusing on the ethics of honesty, apologies, forgiveness and how our society values the truth.

Many have felt A-Rod's apology was not sincere since he had no other options. In a matter of 48 hours since the story broke, he was tried and convicted in the court of public opinion. Sad thing is, most of us expected him to be guilty. We assume our stars and people in power are corrupt. So why should A-Rod risk defying the mob/congress and perjure himself? Things aren't going well for Bonds and Clemens. At least A-Rod decided to apologize and not waste any more tax payer time and money.

But who are we to blame him for not apologizing sooner? How many of us broke something in the house as a kid, swept it under the rug/stairs and hoped we'd never get caught? It happens all the time in our private an professional lives. We generally don't own up to mistakes and falsehoods unless we have to. Often, we assume that to do such a thing is stupid or unnecessary. A-Rod is no different. I find it very hypocritical that people are busting his chops over this.

I accept his apology and find it to be sincere. However, I'm sure its not the whole truth and its difficult to trust that he has been clean since 2003. So what? I think we'll be upset for a year, then it will gradually blow over. Look at Kobe, his scandal is a few years past and people hardly act like it happened. Phelps will sell Wheaties and Speedos once again when his sport becomes relevant in 4 years. I suppose its good to be an athlete where your mistakes can usually be forgiven, so long as you perform. Perhaps that's why our Senators and Congressmen go down in the flames of scandal so quickly... none of them produce results we care about. Perhaps that's why its so hard to take down a corporate executive, because they have a close-knit group of people/golf-friends that think they did great things for them.

Hide the truth from me so long as you are making my life better. Ignorance is bliss.

Personally, A-Rod does nothing for me and I'd bet 98.7% of the population. So why forgive him? For me, it is a Christian imperative or simply: the right thing to do. Whatever our reasons, we should forgive, the same way we would want to be forgiven. It doesn't mean we have to like the guy or celebrate his records, but perhaps we'll all be better off by forgiving and moving on, rather than dwelling on how much we hate him.

Why Speed Racer Bombed

I was recently invited to view Speed Racer by a fellow blogger who loved it. I was under the impression the movie was a terrible failure. Why? It scored a 36% on the Rotten Tomatoes meter (compiles hundreds of critics reviews), where good films usually score above 75%. Basically, 36% on this scale is an F---- and no, that's not a swear word. Box Office Mojo reports a production budget of $120M and the total wold-wide gross was $98M. That doesn't include likely marketing costs of $30, which would wipe out any pitiful DVD sales, making this a $30 to $50M mistake.



Was this movie that bad? No. This flick was misguided on its target audience. The W-Bros shot for a PG rated, kid friendly film, but tried to throw in serious messages about death, and devilish corporations, a cocktail that is sure to cause a hang-over for a 10-year old. Another major problem, this movie had Jar-Jar Binks syndrome with the kid and his chimp (Major Death Knell).

The answers to making this film gross near $200M are simple.

• Keep the action, the pacing, the beautiful and vivid cinematography, even the fighting cars. Suspending reality is not the problem.
• Less CGI would be helpful - it would loose the Jar-Jar/Starwars "nothing is real" feel
  
• Get rid of the kid and his monkey or make them very minor characters
  
• Drop 20 F-bombs and 10 S-bombs to make plenty of "tough guy" racing talk
• Throw in two totally unnecessary nude scenes and a gratuitous sex scene
• Embrace the Mortal Kombat factor: show genuine blood and violence
• Give us death: make several drivers die per race, none of this saved by foam egg stuff
• Have Speed sign a contract to race for Team Obama and "Change" - we love that word.
  

You guessed it! I'm saying any movie can be saved by a bunch of sex and violence. Go team Satan! The W-Bros should have embraced the corporate demonized ideology they rail on. Here are some typical corporate strategies to market a movie:

• Swear words make most of us feel grown up, real, respected and intelligent.
• How many guys have sat through excruciatingly boring films if they thought there was a slight chance of some nudity?
• Death always makes things more entertaining. 300 got this right.
• Buckets of blood make people happy. Once again, 300 got this right.
• Railing on corporations is much more accepted in R-rated films (Wall-e being the exception). IE - Fast Food Nation, Fight Club, Erin Brockovich, Any Given Sunday, Boiler Room, to name a few

So, if you don't want to see a bunch of sex and brutal violence, can get past Jar-Jar and enjoy tons of CGI action, this movie is for you and possibly your kids.

P.S. - Perhaps they should have just made this a really cool video game and scraped the movie.
P.P.S - Death Race stunk too and it apparently had all of my R-rated recommendations. Perhaps nothing could save this movie. Maybe Americans just hate Japanese Anime adaptation. Look out Dragon Ball Z!

P.P.P.S - I adored the pancake scene: "Pancakes are love."

Too Much Family Time

Loved this clip about a head coach getting his priorities straight.

25 Random Things

I just busted my hump for this elsewhere, so I may as well get some extra mileage out of it:

1. At the age of 3, I climbed the organ pipes at church while my mother was speaking. Dad was asleep. I made up about 9-feet before I was pulled to saftey for a beating.
2. My favorite color is blue... No! Yelllooooooooo
3. I had braces - on my teeth.
4. I can take amazing pictures of myself while driving thanks to my mad skillz as an appraisaler. 5. I have an innie not an outie belly button.
6. Often I go through food fetishes: once I ate nothing but racoon meat hot-dogs with hot sauce, immitation cheese and tortillas during dinner for a month.
7. I can't play any instruments, being the one child my mother could not teach the piano.
8. I sang choir in HS so I could play football, and now I sing (not well) for enjoyment.
9. I've created a small collection of techno music I made in college - a roomate described it as "The music they play in hell."
10. I'm known in some circles as "Negative Nancy" and "Positive Peter."
11. I prefert to ski rather than snowboard.
12. I've given up on music, generally favoring sport and ultra-conservative talk radio.
13. Running from and killing the Predator and Darth Vader are recurring dreams that have plauged me over the years.
14. I'm a huge fan of Christmas and try to over-do it every year, Griswold style.
15. My kids crack me up all the time. Best comic relief a man can get at the end of the day.
16. I have one of the ugliest basketball styles in the history of mankind.
17. I was a state champion in football, but didn't get a ring because I was too cheap.
18. I've lived in CO, MA, CA and NV.
19. Left my wife on Valenties day to interview with Sears in Chicago during college. Accidentally slept in the next morning. It wasn't meant to be.
20. If I don't talk while I'm eating, it means I'm enjoying my food. If you made it, take that as the highest compliment I can bestow.
21. I fight for every last scrap of cold cereal due to extreeme childhood deprivation.
22. Love 80s hair metal.
23. I am a minor-leauge audio/visualphile. Give me loud, exploding movies. Just ask my wife, I get obsessed. I'll set up your system for fun.
24. I've been nearly arrested for a drive-by shooting and potentially holding up a strip-center with a plastic uzi. Both cases earned me guns pointed up my nose.
25. Despite what everyone says, I like fruit. Just not Pears, Peeches, etc. You know, the mushie stuff. I also despise dried fruit. Its for elves and fairies. Fresh Pineapple, Bananas, Grapes and Apples are my staples in this food category.

Monday Morning Quarterback

Much like everything going on these days, our hopes have been crushed. In a painful way. Am I that much of a Cardinals fan? No. But it would have been nice to see the Cinderella team of the NFL, the flagship of American hope in a dark time sail into the sunset. Instead Darth Vader's minions set it on fire after a game that equated to a bag over the head/stomach punch for the Cardinals.

I'm convinced Darth has given Big-Ben a force field generator. How else could that guy have so many people around him all the time and not get sacked? James Harrison's (#92, the guy that ran back the interception) agent must have been doing cartwheels when his client made that huge play, then was ripping his hair out after the cameras got a first hand look at him beating that Cardinals blocker like the girlfriend he assaulted back in May 2008. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3284544) I bet she was watching that going, "That right! that's what it was like every day!!!" ESPN is calling the Steelers "America's Team," I find that only to be true in the sense that they have become America's most hated team, behind the Patriots of course (I love the irony in that).

To be fair, the Steelers are the better team, controlled most of the game, played very tough and their fans deserve it much more than the ultimate band-wagon fans in AZ. I still think had the Cards won, consumer confidence would have climbed 1 point. (Don't ask me for my algorithm I used to make that calculation).