Hair, Power & Responsibility

Last night the Cougs offense was in trouble. Heaps continued to suck and Bronco looked around in desperation for an answer. Another loss at home to an in-state team would spell disaster. And then he saw it... A full head of hair flowing in the Wasatch Wind. Bronco knew it was time for Reilly Nelson to take the field with the strength of his hair, and the results were magnificent. But what does this have to do with hair?

Remember Samson and his hair? Because of his faith in growing his hair, he could do amazing things for his people like rip lions to shreds, smite thousands with the jawbone of an ass, carry city gates 37.2 miles, snap fresh bowstrings, break ropes, remove looms and finally die after pushing the temple of the pagan god Dagon to the earth killing himself and his enemies.

Such feats of strength and manliness continue today, but they have shifted from whore-obsessed warriors to our most famous field generals: Quarterbacks. When the right hair comes along, unexpected greatness follows. Think of Namath and the Jets, Montana's ideal 80s feathered look, Young's curls of victory and Manning's perfect part. This isn't about the length of hair, but the style and swagger resulting from it. Perhaps the best example in modern times of the power of QB hair is Tom Brady:

3 SB titles, a perfect regular season, all as a 6th round pick. His secret? He truly understands that each time he changes his do, the power of the hair enhances his game. This has nothing to do with actresses, Brazilian supermodels or just being the Golden Boy. This man understand that with great hair comes great power and with great power comes great responsibility.

Reilly, clearly you have been give the power of the hair from the football gods. Use it wisely and lead us to victory.