Most Interesting Man vs. Chuck Norris

I just had an epiphany this morning that these two guys are famous for having a ton of amazing facts attributed to them. See if you can separate which facts go with the correct bearded wonder.

1. He lives vicariously through himself.

2. He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.

3. He can do a wheelie on a unicycle
4. He is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
5. He has counted to infinity - twice.
6. He never says something tastes like chicken – not even chicken.
7. He’s been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room.
8. He can slam a revolving door.

9. He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

10. His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.

11. He doesn't have life insurance, the insurance companies pay him to spare their lives.
12. Once, he won the Indy 500 using Fred Flintstone's car.
13. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.

14. Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...he sleeps with an actual bear

15. Some magicans can walk on water, he can swim through land.
16. He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.

17. He can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

18.When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
19. His shirts never wrinkle.
20. When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for him.
21. He is left-handed. And right-handed.
22. If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
23. He has amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.
24. He once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
25. There used to be a street named after him, but it was changed because nobody crosses him and lives.

26. He doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

27. You can see his charisma from space.
28. When he does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
29. He can cut through a hot knife with butter
30. He was bitten by a snake. Three days later the snake died.
31. The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
32. He once punched a magician. That’s right. You heard me.
33. If a monument were built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close… due to poor attendance.
34. His blood smells like cologne.
35. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals he allows to live.
36. He made a Happy Meal cry. (No fries???)

37. He once won a staring contest with Medusa.

38. Whenever he tells a lie it instantly becomes Fact

39. His organ donation card also lists his beard.

40. On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.

41. He destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
42. He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
43. His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
44. His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.

45. There is no chin behind his beard. Only another fist.

46. His hands feel like rich brown suede.

47. He once taught a horse to read email for him.

48. He can divide by zero.

49. He once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.

50. Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.

51. He can speak Braille.

52. Lime trees bear fruit on his command.

53. He once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Answers:

1. MIM

2. MIM

3. CN

4. CN

5. CN

6. MIM

7. MIM

8. CN

9. MIM

10. MIM

11. CN

12. CN

13. MIM

14. CN

15. CN

16. MIM

17. CN

18. MIM

19. MIM

20. CN

21. MIM

22. MIM

23. MIM

24. CN

25. CN

26. CN

27. MIM

28. MIM

29. MIM

30. CN

31. MIM

32. MIM

33. MIM

34. MIM

35. CN

36. CN

37. CN

38. CN

39. MIM

40. MIM

41. CN

42. MIM

43. MIM

44. MIM

45. CN

46. MIM

47. MIM
48. CN

49. MIM

50. CN
51. CN
52. MIM
53. CN

Scoring:

1-10: You are so pathetic even Chuck Norris won't kill you.

10-20: Rain clouds follow you.

20-30: Most average people think they are better than average. You are not.

30-40: Perhaps you could scratch their beards without turning into a pillar of salt.

40-50: Congratulations! You've spent way too much time filling you head with useless facts.
50 +  : You must be the Cougar Abogado heaping shame on a lowly blogger who doesn't check his work.

Here is a discussion debating who would actually win a fight between the two:

http://www.dallasdancemusic.com/useless-blabber/302979-chuck-norris-vs-most-interesting-man-world.html