Monday, November 21, 2011

Starbucks Malice

Remember the lady who sued McDonald's for spilling some hot coffee in her lap? I think I'm going to file the same claim against our extra foamy frappuccino friends. I'm on the road today and had to get some wifi access so I came into Starbucks and felt it would only be decent to order something if I'm going to use their internet access.

I don't drink coffee, and I suppose getting an herbal tea from this place is like going into a bar and purchasing a soda. Come visit me in the Telestial Kingdom if you can spare the time. But back to the story.

I order this tea, fire up my lap top and take a sip. YEAHHHHHHRRRHHHGHAAAAHH!!!!! (Dean Scream) Are they trying to cover poor quality or the fact they spit in my drink by destroying my taste buds? Its not like I'm in dire pain, but I doubt I'll be able to taste anything for a few days or get that "normal" feeling in my tongue back. Perhaps I am being punished for supporting a coffee establishement when it generally goes against my personal beliefs.

President McKay gave one of my all-time favorite quotes on "hot drinks" and why we avoid them.

"There is a substance in tea and coffee which when taken into the human system, tends to increase the beating of the heart; which in turn increases the rapidity of the circulation of the blood and of breathing. This causes the body to become warmer and more exhilarated. After a time, however, this temporary enlivenment passes off, and the body is really in a greater need of rest and recuperation than it was before the beverage was taken. Stimulants are to the body what the lash is to the lagging horse—it causes a spurt forward but gives no permanent strength or natural nourishment. Frequently repetitions of the lash only make the horse more lazy; and the habitual use of strong drink, tobacco, tea, and coffee, only tends to make the body weaker and more dependent upon the stimulants to which it is addicted." Teachings of Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay, (2003), 102–11.

Not only are hot drinks a lash to the soul, they are a lash to the tongue.

1 comment:

Daniel said...

I feel like you've had a Pauline experience: http://lds.org/scriptures/nt/2-cor/11.24?lang=eng#23