Tired

I've been working like crazy over the last two weeks and it will continue next week. Heck, I should be working now, but I need a little blogging R&R. Naturally, the main symptom of working too much is getting very tired. But its not just work that is doing it to me. Here are a few other things that have made me tired in the last two weeks.

1. The Gorilla Diet - Thanks to Oprah and the Wizard of Oz, the Supreme Commander and I decided to try eating 11 lbs of vegetables and fruits every day for 10 days. I lasted about 3. Don't get me wrong, I love produce and am often criticized for wolfing down fistfuls of parsley, kale, peppers, cauliflower and broccoli. But living without complex carbs is a sin. God said, "Wheat is for man." Perhaps not the bleached, enriched stuff, but boy was he not kidding. I'm now convinced Dr. Atkins must have worshiped the devil in his free time when he wasn't pounding five hamburger patties for breakfast. Carbs really are our best energy source (IMHO) and to live without them is to be very tired.

Another problem with the Gorilla Diet is that its too easy to break. I went to a festive summer party and was tempted by the aroma of 25 bratwursts simmering on the grill. I thought to myself, "a gorilla would eat this if he could" and so I did. Yep, it all went downhill from there. But I don't feel completely exhausted anymore and I still love me some produce.

2. Kobe Bryant - I respect the game and his drive to win. But what am I really tired of? All the acting. For starters, STOP YOUR WHINING!!! I've never seen a guy try to draw so much contact and yet complain EVERY SINGLE time a foul is not called. It is absolutely ridiculous and he appears to believe he can influence the refs, because he can. This has nothing to do with my Nugz, just ask anyone who is not a Laker fan. Next, he makes this "Tiger Snarl" face all of the time. Jordan's tongue was cool; this is not. It makes him look like a whiny little brat, which by all his acting, he most certainly is. Pouring more salt into my wound are his speeches and interviews during and after games. All this talk about toughness and pulling his team along from the ultimate whiner make me want to puke. Its like he's got some PR guy in a closet writing bad ESPN classic interview dialogue for him. I'm a bit jaded, but nearly everything he says feels like a cheese grater on my face. Finally, I'm tired of the hype. At least Le Bron didn't make it to the finals so all of those idiotic puppet commercials could die.

3. Movies - I used to be able to stay awake for anything. I almost hated that I couldn't fall asleep. Thanks to the Gorilla Diet and becoming a workaholic, I can't finish anything. Example: I rented Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan, supposedly the best Star Trek of age and nodded off. At least I made it to the part where Kirk screams KHAAAANNNNNN! into his walkie. I dare say its the greatest Kirk moment in cinema and you must watch this: http://animated.ytmnd.com/. I even watched the scream in slow motion and laughed the whole way through. The other flick that put me out? The Way We Were. I know, I know. What was I thinking? A movie with Barbara Streisand where she's a pinko communist? I made it about 15 minutes into that flick and gratefully passed out. I'll just have to sing the song in a super-sillious manner in the future. And yes, I think I just made up the word Sillious.

4. Silver Lining - To savor my tired state, I've listened to the Soggy Bottom Boys song "I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow" and "Are the Good Times Really Gone Forever?" over and over. Ya'll, country music really does soothe a tired, worn out soul.

You are probably now tired of me so I'm now tired of you and I'm going to quit. Have a nice life and stay tired my friends.