Monday, November 05, 2012

Executive Toilets

I used to think that executives having a private bathroom was an absurd excess of pig vanity capitalism. But lately, I've begun to think it would pretty dang sweet to have one of my own.

Why?

I've been drinking more water these days and I'm not sure if I've got a bad prostate or developed 7 year old girl bladder syndrome, but I get sick of marching past the whole office 3-5 times a day to think straight at my desk.

It's getting awkward.


It's getting so bad I'm starting to hope I can pick off the treasured personal male urinal at the annual white elephant party this December. But with no lock on my door, that's a potentially scandalous solution.

I suppose it would be less taboo in the car on a long roadie, but if I started doing this, my thin list of friends would drop to ZERO. In fact, I think you just de-friended me right now.

Oh well, I guess I should just accept my age and embrace 10,000 trips to the communal restroom.

7 comments:

Rooster said...

I think its a great idea. You might try pretending to have a phone conversation on your way out the door or carrying your car keys....you know, just to give your staff a little bit of a head fake!

If you get your toilet room, I recommend a bidet. I'm in Morocco and just used did my first bidet. It's somethin' else! Make sure you wash with your left hand though in the Arabic countries!

Fletch said...

I've always wanted one. But I'm a rightie and will not change.

Katie said...

Just say the word and you can HAVE the stinking urinal. I know exactly where it is.

Fletch said...

HAHA! Thank you for the offer, but I want to compete for it. Much more exciting than buying one as well.

Daniel said...

So this is what I have to aspire to, down the road in my career?

Fletch said...

Yes. Evil attorney's have some of the best TI finishes out there.

The size of your paycheck means nothing if you don't have your own private toilet.

Typically most pluming fixtures and rooms are indented to be used by multiple people because water lines are difficult and expensive. You truly show your superior importance when one is dedicated just for you.

Daniel said...

I see. And I always thought it was the size of the desk!