Real Wedding Vows

Forget Corinthians or holding hands while listening to Aerosmith's "Don't wanna miss a thing" song for vows; the following is the real deal:

Just prior to this scene Alec Baldwin delivers a classic line. Bacon is in the car with him freaking out before the wedding and he asks:

"Do you think I`m gonna be happy-I mean honestly?"

Baldwin responds:

"You want to be a writer and father, maybe it`ll work out, who knows?...
Yeah, you`ll be happy. You just won`t know it, that`s all."

MURDER & FUR

This is for all my cat loving friends and in honor of my cat TIGRA. THE WORLD'S MOST BLOOD THIRSTY CAT. Why is her fur so soft? Plenty of fresh meat!

Skyfall - The Greatest Bond Film in the Modern Era?

The latest effort in the 50 year saga of masculinity wrapped in Tuxedo. Cinematically this is probably the best Bond film ever made. There is a scene involving low lighting, tons of glass doors and a jellyfish constantly reflected across all surfaces which makes for fascinating camouflage. To be perfectly honest, I enjoyed the camera work and visuals much more than the action which was good, but nothing I haven't seen before. Like The Dark Knight Rises, this film allows audiences to see the traditionally robust, mythical hero become old and vulnerable.

True to the unbreakable vow of all contemporary action films, the movie is one never ending chase sequence. Creepy Spaniard guy dyes his hair blonde and provides the necessary antagonist, but this is where the overall concept of this film fell short for me. I wanted more emphasis on the aging... slow, inevitable death. I guess what I want is not a Bond film, but more of a character study analyzing how Bond's life would fall apart without mortal pursuit, combat and at least two nubile women moaning "James" all the same time. But in Hollywood this film will never happen. If things don't explode every 10 minutes we get bored, throw our popcorn at the screen and head-butt the stranger in the seat next to us.

What I probably enjoyed the most were some good inside jokes at the theater. At one point, we discover Bond's family heriloom collection of guns were sold to "some guy from Idaho." Ralph Fines is stuck as Voldermort in my mind. In every scene he appears I'm waiting for him to whip out a wand and start screaming "AVADA KEDAVRA!" At the end of the film, I was waiting for him to reveal himself to Bond as the Dark Lord and via the Imperius curse, make Bond his first Muggle Death Eater. But I was denied.

The biggest failing of the movie is the end of the opening sequence. Bond has been shot in the chest or mortally wounded. After this he able to spend 15 minutes fighting on top of a train at high speeds. His fellow agent is instructed to take out the bad guy with a sniper rifle and shoots Bond instead (never clear where he was shot either). He falls 300 feet into a raging river and the classic musical opening sequence begins. We see him rescued by some River Nymphs and sucked down into the sandy abyss shadow and intrigue. Later with no explanation whatsoever, we see bond ravishing women (bored), drinking liquor with scorpions on his hand (boring) and grimacing at his chest wound (chicks dig scars).

I guess we are forced to believe River Nymphs really saved him because that's all we get. It could have been the end of the franchise and it was brushed off with "Put some river mud on it and get back in there" attitude. Whatever.

For me, the modern era of Bond begins with Golden Eye. Since that time, I think Casino Royal was the best entry, followed by Golden Eye which upheld the sacred rule of killing Sean Bean at the end. As much as I've whined, I would rank this 3rd in the modern era. A fine film... but not the zenith of the franchise.    

Is the Mormon Moment Over?

After what seemed like an eternity (eight years) of running for president, Mitt Romney is not going to the White House. I'll admit I'm crestfallen this morning and have no desire to go to work... or build anything. The church had unprecedented coverage during Romney's run. Ultimately, I'd like to think it was very positive. Many people got to know Mormons as regular people with traditional values, but also as a people with a variety of backgrounds and struggles. So now that people don't have to deal with the idea of a Mormon running the country, is the media hype about the church done?

I'd say yes and no. Yes to what I call the Media Moment and no to the Church making headlines.

Media Moment - Most people really don't care to hear about other people's beliefs all the time. Heck, plenty of people don't want to think about their own religion all the time, much less the guy next door. If I'm running a magazine, newspaper or other media outlet, I'm probably worn out on the issue as well. So I think the media pieces highlighting the faith and why we are different is going to go down dramatically. Evangelicals can now go back to praying for us and I doubt more profanity laced musicals are in the works.

Headlines - I don't see the church changing its position on controversial topics such as gay marriage, abortion or supporting the Boy Scouts. As those issues continue to clash, the Church's larger national presence will be seen and heard. Some will love us and some will hate us.

This election felt like a tipping point to me. We are on the European fast track. Religion is now what happens at weddings, funerals and a few holidays, but mostly just ceremonial stuff and not for everyday living. De-militarization and flat 50-75% taxes. Its the only way we can "attempt" to pay for all of our programs. And the majority of us will cheer for it. I'm not leaving the country, so I guess I'd better get used to it until our economy collapses under the astronomical debt, sparking a second world-wide depression and chaos that could eventually lead to Biblical Armageddon scenarios.

(You knew I was going to work the end of the world into this. In a less serious post, I'd blame the Illuminati for Romney losing last night).

Yeah, I don't have that much faith in Bureaucrats solving the world's problems.

Before you say I've given up, I do think its a matter of time before the Dem majority ticks everyone off and we will  likely see another Republican President and Senate down the road. However, I think we just went over the fiscal edge and I don't think we can come back. I feel like blaming 3 years of campaigning for a 4 year term. Or maybe I'm just in a sour mood this morning.      

Executive Toilets

I used to think that executives having a private bathroom was an absurd excess of pig vanity capitalism. But lately, I've begun to think it would pretty dang sweet to have one of my own.

Why?

I've been drinking more water these days and I'm not sure if I've got a bad prostate or developed 7 year old girl bladder syndrome, but I get sick of marching past the whole office 3-5 times a day to think straight at my desk.

It's getting awkward.

It's getting so bad I'm starting to hope I can pick off the treasured personal male urinal at the annual white elephant party this December. But with no lock on my door, that's a potentially scandalous solution.

I suppose it would be less taboo in the car on a long roadie, but if I started doing this, my thin list of friends would drop to ZERO. In fact, I think you just de-friended me right now.

Oh well, I guess I should just accept my age and embrace 10,000 trips to the communal restroom.

Raising Arizona

I'd like to say I've always been a fan of this Coen Bros flick, but its probably better to say I've re-discovered it. Thanks to Nextflix streaming, after 4 failed starts, I finally finished this crazy movie.

Let me say up front that if you saw this prior to having children and now have some, go back and watch this. The comedy just took on a whole other sad but true ring to it. Lately, my life has been kinda hectic...  Watching the insanity of this movie, I feel like the main theme song has become the daily soundtrack of my life.

Of course, I love white trash humor despite my better half being so desperate to avoid any and all things white trash. I think what I liked the most was the camera work that brought a whole other dimension to the comedy. If you have streaming Netflix, give this one another go and think of me and the Mrs. going crazy. I started singing this song in the bathroom the other day and Brianna started cracking up. The Boss was not amused.