Friday, January 14, 2011

True Grit in the Marriage Bed with a Coach

TRUE GRIT - Last night I finally made it out to see the re-make of "True Grit." And no, there was not one bowl of grits consumed in the whole film. (If you could shoot me right now, I'm sure you would.). This movie had me at hello. First, it features a character that goes by the name "Rooster." Second, the main character is a sassy little girl out to avenge her father's death at any cost. It was like watching a 14-year old version of the Lizard fighting to make sure she got justice for me. Half of her lines sounded exactly like stuff she would say to people. Aside from that inside humour, this really is a funny movie. I dig "Vernacular" flicks. Sometimes, they are in the southern/western genre, or they might be period British films. Regardless, odd dialogue is all it takes to make me happy.
 
The Lizard on a quest for VENGEANCE.
THE MARRIAGE BED - I received a challenge yesterday to blog about a very odd news story from the NYT. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41055693/ns/today-relationships/?gt1=43001. Apparently, cheating is forgivable if the act is performed outside the marriage bed. But if done at home in the place you sleep, GAME OVER. Seriously? This idea is so ground breaking it made it into the NY Times? Is psychology really being taken over by the likes of Captain Obvious? This is a great example of garbage created by the 24/7 news machine. They have to constantly put out stories to captivate our attention. So I'll assume this is meant to entertain more than inform. Better yet, it makes for great dinner conversation with the wife:
  • So... did you hear that the NYT says you can't forgive someone if they cheat on you in the marriage bed? 
  • .....
  • Yeah, it was a pretty crazy article. What do you think?  
  • .....
  • .....
  • Why are you telling me about this?
  • Nothing, really, just thought it was, uh... informative.
  • ..... really [squinting x-ray vision starts].... Pass the gravy. 
  • Do you think that's a deal breaker? 
  • Why are you asking me this? Are you trying to tell me something? 
  • No, just making conversation. You look amazing in those jeans today. Have you lost 10 pounds in the last week? Did I mention this gravy is AWESOME
This is why a silent dinner is sometimes golden. Its a sign that a man has figured out how to quit bringing up loaded-topics that just lead to trouble. The next time you see a couple at a restaurant sitting in peaceful silence, go over an applaud them. I hope one day to recieve this acclaim, but it may be impossible.

Coach Fox - My beloved Broncos just finished the season 4-12. Only one other team in the NFL had a worse record. The Carolina Panthers at 2-14. Captain Obvious says... don't hire the coach of that team. So what did we do? HIRE THAT MAN. I don't care if he went to a Super-bowl or is the antithesis of McFired. It just sounds like a bad day at the recycling plant. This is just my initial reaction. I don't know a ton about the guy and wish him the best. I also recognize we were not going to attract a big name like Cowher or Gruden, etc. We are a complete disaster right now. Hopefully the Fantastical Mr. Fox can turn our fortunes around like he initially did with the Panthers.

3 comments:

Daniel said...

I'm glad you have true grit and that the Lizard has done you proud.

So wait, is the evil deed forgiven if it's done at home, in "the marriage bed" (what the heck is that, anyway?), or somewhere else? I'm reminded of the news reaction I saw today when discussing the new study that shows people who cohabit before marriage are more likely to get a divorce: "Come take our survey if you disagree" . . .

Wow. We picked the guy who went 2-14? Ah, well. Second chances, I suppose. Thanks for the update.

Fletch said...

I was informed that "Covered Wagons" are also off-limits in the Marriage Bed.

Anonymous said...

Good one
http://picspox.blogspot.com/