1984 in 2009

Yesterday I had to make a trip up to Casper WY by car, so I decided to hear a classic book on audio, 1984, by George Orwell. Orwell wrote this in 1948 as a warning of an impending massive oligarchical collectivist distopia if Communist ideals were fully embraced. Sounds heavy. I'm going to assume you know something about the book. If not, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four. Leave it to me to come up with some absurd thoughts while listening to the unabridged recording:

• Big Brother - He is everywhere on posters, with his enormous mustache and eyes that follow you. Today we now understand that Chuck Norris is Big Brother. Here's why: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
• Telescreen - Orwell's idea of the telescreen was visionary. Now that we have web-cams built into most modern monitors and laptops, the idea of the government being able to watch us at all times is getting closer. Where he missed the boat was the idea that telescrens would only be for propaganda. More on that in a bit.
• New Speak - In 1984, this is how the M.O.C. government uses words to control thought. Today we call it being politically correct or P.C. Even that has become too cliche and the expression Culturally Sensitive is more appropriate. Terrorists are Insurgents? And yet I'm still a Mormon right-wing nut job. Give me some 84'. Newspeak was another brilliant prediction by Orwell. I'm no English major, so the explanations of the new condensed language went over my head, until he said the opening of the Declaration of Independence would simply be translated as: Thought-crime.
• Winston - The main character, Winston Smith is like Neo (from the Matrix). He knows there is something wrong with the world, can't exactly say what it is and will heroically try to do something about it. In 1984 fashion, instead of becoming a messiah, he gets the snot tortured out of him until he becomes sane (insane). He also has a thing for smoking cigarrets. In 2009, his name would more appropriately be McDonald, a pitiful man addicted to greasy, synthetic cheeseburgers.
• War is Peace - Orwell's big mistake comes here. He totally missed the boat on the power of sports to captivate the human mind and enslave them to a personally meaningless cause. Avraham Gileadi decries sports as the worship of false idols, comparable to the gladiator games causing the downfall of Roman rule. Orwell didn't see a world filled with ESPN 8 ("The Ocho"), fantasy sports, instant mobile sports news, sling-box, DVR and enormous time spent in front of Telescreens, were the people could be watched and controlled. As a young man, I found a good outlet for my violent tendencies in football (and heavy metal). http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3852/is_199901/ai_n8838371/. If the M.O.C. had realized this, they would have gone the way of modern China and the former C.C.C.P., training athletes from birth, allowing people to spend all of their "surplus" energy and emotion on sports, rather than a constant state of war.

So I came away from this book convinced capitalism is good, socialism is bad and sports will save the world. That pretty much sums up us knuckle dragging inbred religious conservatives. Of course, my crowd still believes in the 2-minute hate (AKA - Organized Religion) and the idea that "Ignorance is Strength" as we shield our children from the base and vile things of the world.

Perhaps if Orwell had known about Hypno Toads, he would have had the M.O.C. use them instead of ghastly torture sessions in the Ministry of Love:

Mr. Fair - I have now finished my book report. I demand a change to my Sophomore high school transcript from a C- to a gentleman's C.