Bloodlust

Elton John and Simba are all about the circle of life, however my cat, Tigra is obsessed with the circle of death - and she brings it to us on a regular basis. I used to let the cat out because I thought she was bored and needed fresh air. Noooooo. That cat is out for blood. Serious bloodlust in that animal. I know cats like to bring presents back to their owner as a "I got your back dog" gesture, but this is just sadistic.

The other day, Tigra caught a baby bunny and slowly chewed its ears off. I heard baby B. screaming occasionally and I was stuck in a "million dollar bunny" situation. Should I save the bunny and let it die on its own? (it was mutilated and beyond repair) or should I hope the cat finishes it off quickly? Needless to say, my Boss was flipping out. I told her if I had a 357 Magnum, this wouldn't be a problem. We opted for Plan B and in true Mordor fashion, Tigra just kept the slow death going. Unable to witness the circle of death, we left and came back to find a decapitated corpse on the back porch. If Voldermort had a cat, Tigra would be it. Or maybe she's an Animagus, hiding from the Dark Lord.

The Internet says if I get an advanced pheromone spray it should mitigate my cat's need to protect and hunt its territory, thus making her less likely to kill and torture the innocent. Or we could make her wear a bell. No, that would drive me insane at 2 AM. It appears that the solution is to be inhumane, keep the cat indoors all day and get her a cat condo...and fake mice that squirt blood.