Saturday, September 27, 2008

Trading Concubines

Growing up in the Mile High City, I attended the LDS church in the morning and then went home to watch the church of John Elway in the afternoon. There were many highs and lows, but the Field General, John Elway was constant. He could always be trusted to win, and bring glory to our fair city. But I now have serious doubts about our once great General, who rode the White Bronco.

After retirement, Elway has done a bunch of things, Car Dealerships, Restaurants, AFL (Area Football League), Canned his wife of 18 years, preyed on Cougars, etc... But he has now crossed the line. Word is out that Mr. Elway will be marrying a former Raider's cheerleader.

INCONCIEVABLE!!! Could Carl Meckelnburg, Steve Atwater, Jene Lang or Simon Fletcher do this? Yes. They are not a fixture of Denver sports and the city. But "John" is the husband and the city of Denver is his wife. We have loved him for years after he stopped working and making us smile. Like a rejected wife, we have gone on cherishing what he once was and have kissed his butt despite the lack of success, post football. I now know how a woman scorned feels. This is heinous treachery.

Perhaps "John" is upset that we have a new Bo in the wings (Jay Cutler) and is lashing out at us. So be it. Its time for us to move on and get a young, virile husband that can make us feel alive, special and maybe even better than you once did. Good riddance "John." I've rent my clothes, ripped out my facial hair and covered myself in sackcloth and ashes. You are dead to me.

2 comments:

Daniel said...

Nice.

I have yet to bust out the sack cloth and ashes, but this would truly be a travesty.

Daniel said...

By the way, where did you score that sic-dizzles primary photo?