I'm Dreaming of a White Mother's Day

The undisclosed Rocky Mountain location of my residence has been getting a ton of rain for the past week. Last night, it turned into snow. I know why this happened. Someone with no social tact thought a blanket of white snow would be a nice gesture.

At 11:30 PM on Monther's Day Eve, I went out to shake the trees and spare the branches from breaking. This is what I saw:

Yep, nature reminds us that motherhood leads to things beginning to sag as new life emerges. While smacking the trees like a moron without a hat, I got 30 lbs of snow in my face. It was the first time in my life I've gotten a brain freeze from the outside. Let's just say it was quite painful... and a reminder of what happens to fathers when mothers dump their icy wrath on them. 

Earlier that evening I hung out with the Boss but she left to get her nails done by a neighbor who makes excellent Virgin Mint Mojitos. I began to panic that she wasn't coming back so I sent the following text message:

I've got this emotionally vulnerable/available thing down! I bet the Boss brags on it all the time. 

Next, in an effort to reduce my carbon footprint and do Mother Earth a solid, I texted the Boss my Mother's Day card as follows:

Yes, I really know how to lather it on. We're talking hot. barbershop. menthol. LATHER. Here's what I mean. Check out this amazing breakfast I prepared and served for the obligatory meal in bed. 

$20 says none of you have ever had such a novel breakfast in bed. But this isn't all. While walking in with the above plate of culinary genius, I had the following song playing:

Coco absolutely loved it! Can't say the Boss did, but I think its a precious song that will have to come back each year. Maybe I can get Salt Lake to add it to the Children's Songbook for extra legitimacy. Its been a wonderful day and I'm so blessed to have my own exemplary mom and a beautiful partner whom my kids call Mother.