Kenosha Pass

Yesterday was a Saturday I will always treasure. The Gator and I made a big road trip for work though Grand Junction and Montrose and on the way home capped it off with a 5.5 mile hike through some aspen woods at Kenosha Pass.

For those of you that don't know, my father died due to an accident on Kenosha Pass March 7, 1992, just three days shy of his 50th birthday. He was building a snow cave as part of winter surival training with the Boy Scouts on the annual Klondike Klonderee, which usually takes place at Kenosha Pass. This event features various Troops from the area competing in sledding races, winter survival techniques and snowshoeing.

I've never camped at Kenosha Pass and for years after my father's death I had no desire to see the place. But after 20 years and a wonderful email from my mother in March celebrating my dad's life, I felt a sudden desire to go there and see the area where the accident happened. It only seemed appropriate to take my only son with me. Even though Dad is gone, a part of him was there that day through me, my son and perhaps future generations yet to come. Next to the campground is the Colorado Trail, which we followed on this outing. Here is a breif description of the trail.

"The Colorado Trail is Colorado’s premier long distance trail. Stretching almost 500 miles from Denver to Durango, it travels through the spectacular Colorado Rocky Mountains amongst peaks with lakes, creeks and diverse ecosystems. Trail users experience six wilderness areas and eight mountain ranges topping out at 13,271 feet, just below Coney Summit at 13,334 feet. The average elevation is over 10,000 feet and it rises and falls dramatically. Users traveling from Denver to Durango will climb 89,354 feet." 

This truly is a beautiful hike and is easily accessible off Highway 285 about 1 hour from the C-470 beltway in Denver. The trailhead is right off the highway and parking lot and within moments you are instantly in a lush Aspen wood with wild flowers, which I think my Dad would appreciate. After a gentle 1 mile hike, through the aspens, the trail opens to a beautiful view of a valley and peaks in the distance. The day of our hike was a bit overcast due to forest fires. I'll admit, I had a bit of a lump in my throat initially on the hike, but once we got rolling I realized how grateful I was to be there with my own son enjoying nature together. Here is a slideshow.

   

And now onto a different subject with a different tone...

CONEY ISLAND BOARDWALK - BAILEY, CO

In the above slideshow you can see some photos of where we had dinner after the hike. For many a moon I've passed by this massive stucco hot dog and wondered if it was any good since it looks like a total tourist trap. If I were General Calrissian someone might yell at me:

No joke, it took 45 minutes to get food with 8 people in front of me. At 8:03 PM I was admitted to the register to order. at 8:18 with nearly 2 people looking at me for 15 minutes, someone came up to take my order. During that time, I realized this is one of the last places left in America where white kids under the age of 16 are still working and eating onion rings in front of the customers while they work. This place is a complete joke. Sub-par braut did not justify the wait. Apparently making milkshakes is the kryptonite of this place. The kids in front of me waited 15 minutes for theirs... BECAUSE IT WAS MADE FROM SCRATCH??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? HAVEN'T THESE PEOPLE EVER BEEN TO COSTCO!?!?!!? IT JUST HOT DOGS!!! PULL OUT SOME BUNS, SLAP A WIENER IN THEM AND YOU ARE GOOD TO GO!!!! 

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

How do you yell at some poor kid about the service when his father will likely belt him for it? Its almost genius. 

For more light reading on how much I despise waiting for food that will kill me:

http://fletchword.blogspot.com/2011/11/steak-n-shake-worth-wait.html 

FYI - I went to Wendy's in Conifer instead of getting a shake after what I saw there. It all took less than 45 seconds. After I paid at the first window, they were standing there at the next window ready to hand me my frosty. I narrowly escaped crying.

THANK YOU CORPORATE AMERICA! Family businesses operated by kids ARE A COLOSSAL WASTE OF AMERICAN TIME AND BLOOD. 

Rock of Ages

If you know me at all, you know I'm a huge hair metal fan. Teenage years filled with Def Leppard, Winger, Van Halen, G&R, Metallica, Whitesnake and Motley Crue practically broke my neck and my fingers bled on my air guitar. Naturally Rock of Ages was a must see event.

But I cannot recommend you see this film. However, here are some stupid comments that should not stop you from seeing it:

It was all just a bit too much "Broadway." I'm not a fan of bringing American Idol style singing to rock music. Only one man has ever done that right and NO; A-Lamb was not in this movie... although he would have been great.

Much of the lip syncing was slightly off or too obvious. Most of the scenes with Da Huff and classic 80s wuss guy did nothing for me. Overall, the music was fun and often clever with the story, although a little too "CUTE" for my taste as I love the angst and power of metal vocals. I'm sure I've posted this before but this is a good example of how to sing metal. NOT LIKE MARIAH CAREY. (skip fowrad to the 2 minute mark for full effect)

Alec Baldwin and Russel Brand were a good Broadway comic relief duo and Baldwin was truly that creepy old metal guy that probably raped an average of one groupie a week at his bar.

I know I'm complaining about a Broadway musical being too Broadway on the big screen, but I'd like to say I probably would have the same issues after paying $300 to see the play in person.

Best reason to see this movie? TOM CRUISE. His performace basically justified the whole thing. the codpiece, "Heyman" the monkey, it was all freakin hilarious.

But this movie honestly pushed PG-13 beyond my comfort zone. If I had more salt in me, I would have walked out. While I enjoy Yoga, Pilates and Planking upside down as much as the next man, I don't need 8 minutes of it in a strip club, even if the women keep their tops on. There is an entire Tom Cruise song that is basically 'singing sex' and let's just leave it at that. I know the point was to show how sex crazed the Rock scene was in LA, but either go NC-17 and leave me out of it or make it so I don't have to shower when I get home.

Despite the tone of this post, I tremendously enjoyed the movie but am sad to say I cannot tell you to go see it unless you want to check some things at the door. I seriously doubt this is a movie I'll ever watch again. In the meantime, here is a classic from DOKKEN that embodies the spirit of the movie and which I'm sure none of you have seen:

Amnesia Fails Against My Love

So I just finished watching THE VOW and had a very pleasant realization. First, I should say I'm usually a bit reluctant to watch anything under 30% on the tomato meter, but the plot interested me. What would happen if your spouse lost their memory of life until a month prior to meeting you? Could it all work again? Of course in this film its the man trying to win back his wife. But perhaps it would have been more interesting the other way around.

Since I don't have any idea what is going on in my wife's head [understatement], I can only put myself in the shoes of the amnesiac in this scenario. Indulge me as I re-write the story for my life.

• I go through a windshield due to a recklessly wild and passionate make-out session in an ice storm. (good start)
• I wake up in the hospital and see what I think is a female doctor (The Boss) and some nurse staring at me. The doctor has something about her, but I can't tell what it is. 
• The nurse says I've suffered an acute case of defenestration. 
• The last thing I can remember is being a lowly college student in Provo, stargazing out my window and playing that 80s song "I wanna know what love is" song over and over. 
• I look down at my body and see the young, robust man I thought I was is GONE.
• The nurse hands me a mirror...  Lamb Chops and bottom half of my goatee... GONE. 
• I see my face has aged terribly. Lack of a $120 nightly facial moisturizer, stress and excessive carbohydrates have ruined me... my hair line continues to recede and ear hairs are growing.
• I ask, "how old am I?"  - The doc replies with a grin that I'm 35, but I really think I'm 41 due to some age adjustment that I made up... my confusion only grows. 
• The nurse asks me if I can remember the accident.
• [Crickets] - As I scan my life I see myself wandering the concrete halls of UVSC, a sub-woofer, Maddona's Ray of Light CD and dodging a stalker that can bench press 500 pounds.
• A chill of horror sweeps over me as I put it together that my body and my memories are over 13 years off.
• Shaking my fist I silently ask: how could God do this to me? Now I'm middle aged, out of shape and working with half a brain.
• The despair of the moment nearly overpowers me; and then I notice the doctor is crying. 
• "What's the matter?" I ask.
• She looks at me and says you don't remember me? 
• Taking a smug page out of Obi-wan's book I politely reply, "Should I have?" 
• She says with a smile: I'm your wife. 
• I laugh and say, "Seriously? You're joking. This isn't some sort of prank?"
• "Yes, that's the sick kind of hospital we run here" replies the disgusted nurse and I realize its no joke.
• That vision of those blue eyes and flowing blonde hair is still married to this? 
• But... my youth is gone. I probably now like music that teenagers despise. I bet that even though I suck at golf, I play it just for the greenery, peace and quiet. I follow politics, read the business section and prefer wheat bread or maybe none at all? I probably even sound like my father when I yell at my kids. 
• If I don't accept that she is my wife... HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I EVER FIND SOMEONE LIKE HER IN MY CURRENT CONDITION? 
• And then sunlight bursts through the window of the room, illuminating her hair as she waves it in the sunlight and it hits me. You don't have to worry about it. That's my woman! 
• Despite whatever I've become, I'm the luckiest man alive and I shout out FETCH YES!!! HAHA!!!
• I rip the oxygen and IVs out of my nose and arms, hop up and down on the hospital bed like Tom Cruise and cry for joy as I run around the recovery center with my gown flapping open behind me. 
• The nurse turns to The Boss and says, "its still not too late to have him committed." [and scene]

OK. That's a bit overblown and it condensed a feature length film to a 10 minute YouTube clip.

But this movie made me realize how much more I like and love my wife today than when I first met her. If I truly woke up, remembered nothing and spent just 15 minutes with her, I would know right then what I knew on my first date with her: This is the other half of my soul. Its why silence between us is comfortable and time alone in her presence seems to slip away. I might not recall everything our life was to that point, but that connection will always be there. And here is the thought that really made me happy. If she can become so much more beautiful, lovely and challenging in 13 years; how much more will I love her in 30 million! It may sound ridiculous in those terms, but I'm starting to see how our marriage for time and eternity is such a tremendous blessing beyond description.  

Mr. Fox & The Wolf

I recently watched The Fantastic Mr. Fox with the kids and was impressed with a theme running through the movie of being a wild animal. Since I'm currently reading Wild at Heart, the point of the movie suddenly jumped out at me.

Mr. Fox was a happy Bachelor stealing chickens for a living. But upon being trapped with a wife and child (literally) he promises to give up his wild profession to become a newspaper man.



12 fox years later (2 human years) he is having a mid-life crisis and recklessly moves into a tree near some of the most dangerous farms in the valley. He forges a master 3-phase plan to reclaim his masculinity or wild side without his wife and child knowing. All goes well until the farmers track him down, shoot off his tail and force his family underground. At this point his wife asks him why he broke his promise to never steal chickens again (or be a real man) and he can only respond with, "because I'm a wild animal." She then points out you are also a husband and a father, and he has no further answer only to accept his actions will ultimately kill the family.

Up to this point, it would appear Mr. Fox's masculinity or wild nature have doomed him to failure. It doesn't seem right or fair since that is what nature designed him for. However, thus far he has only used his wild nature for selfish purposes.

Just as Mr. Fox is about to accept defeat and be killed by the farmers for the good of the other animals (a truly selfless act), he hears his son being attacked by Rat and uses his wild instincts for a good cause fighting to save his son. He then realizes its time for all the animals to shed their civilized nature (English names) and embrace their wild nature (Latin names and abilities) to beat the farmers. Mr. Fox co. then go onto rescue cousin Kristofferson, defeat the farmers and escape what seemed to be a hopeless situation.

Several times during the film, Kylie (the Opossum) mentions Wolves and Mr. Fox always stops in a dead panic saying he has a phobia of wolves. After their ultimate escape they encounter a wild wolf on the way back home. Mr. Fox tries to communicate with the wolf in English, Latin and French to no avail. All the wolf seems to understand is Mr. Fox raising his fist in a "fight the power" salute which he returns. Mr. Fox remarks with a tear in his eye, "what a beautiful creature" and they drive away. Here is the scene:



The wolf represents the wild side of Mr. Fox, out in the mountains that he was always afraid of because he never knew how to control it... until then. He realized using his wild instincts to fight for his family, rescue the captive, and liberate his people was good. The wolf does not speak any language because it represents pure instincts that need no language to function. Mr. Fox's encounter with the wolf affirms that down at his core, his wild heart is good and nothing to be ashamed of when used in the service of others.

Interestingly enough, cousin Kristofferson is an example in the film of a boy/man who has mastered his wild instincts and uses them for good or happy expression like jumping off the tree and making a perfect dive into the small pool.

All this stuff is great, but will young men pick up on it when watching the film? Obviously not on an analytic level, but their wild hearts will see a father who did wild things the wrong way and then embraced his wild side to help others. It models rejecting an incorrect use of masculine instincts and embracing them when called for. Great lessons for a young man to learn and a great excuse to re-watch this movie with your kids. Here is a good montage of being different which is another good lesson kids can get out of this movie.



Of course, I'll put down some thoughts on Wild at Heart when I'm done with the book.      

The Worthing SAGA

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things."

How do you write a science fiction novel that teaches this doctrine without anyone knowing? Read the Worthing SAGA to find out. I think half the fun of reading Card is to see how he manages to get doctrine across to the world like Seinfeld's wife puts broccoli into brownies.

This is the story of humankind spanning hundreds of worlds with a capitol planet like Coruscant (big city planet in Star Wars). A few humans have developed the power to read and explore people's minds, however they are tremendously feared and executed if discovered. One such boy has this gift/curse and the story chronicles his life and the downfall of several civilizations, brought on by ABNER DOOM.

But it gets better from the how-do-I-teach-LDS-themes perspective. Jason Worthing, the boy who can read minds has grown old and wants someone to preserve his story so future generations will know of his struggle for true happiness. With the help of a mysterious woman, they get Larid, a blissfully ignorant 14 year-old farm boy to write his story in the language of his people. The woman gives Larid visions or actual memories of Jason's life as if he experienced them himself. As the story of Jason unfolds, Larid learns to embrace the realities of life and is now ready to begin his own journey into the unknown.

Hopefully multiple things that I just said ring some Book of Mormon bells for you.

One of my favorite elements about a few Card novels is his use of people leapfrogging through time via hyperspace travel or in the case of this book, a drug called Somec. The elite of society are preserved through the centuries by waking for 1 to 2 months or sometimes weeks and then sleeping for five to 50 years so they can guide the rest of the pathetic human race to greatness. But is it really working or crippling mankind?

Once again, Card manages to have a vision of future technologies or ideas that in some cases have already become "reality" for us today. Overall, I really enjoyed the book and highly recommend it for your summer sci-fi pleasure.  

Snow White & The Hutsman

I consider myself a reasonably informed moviegoer, but not a professional critic. So when I'm watching a film and the literal expression "Wow, this script is kinda bad" goes through my mind, you know you have an awful movie on your hands. Where to begin?

The premise looked great. LOTR meets sappy fairy tail and puts some hair on its chest. RARRR. Charlize Theron wearing exotic costumes, taking milk baths and eating bird hearts. RARRR.

   

Thor fighting a Troll, swarthy Dwarfs, EPIC battle sequences and a 75 point white buck. WHAT WENT WRONG? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AWESOME!?

I shall now list the ways:

• Terrible dialouge
• Unimaginative script
• Kristen Stewart speaking
• Kristen Stewart wearing FULL plate armor? She couldn't lift a dutch oven.
• Kristen Stewart giving a Braveheart speech
• Thor not wielding a hammer at least once - Like Arnold's "I'll be back." Doesn't have to be major, just at least pick one up for a moment during the film. 
• Not giving women what they want - a little romance and prince charming or at least sexy Thor
• A paradise earth sequence on LSD.
• Ultimately an excuse for someone with a Charlize Theron fetish to dress her up in a bunch of bizarre outfits and be really mean to people.
• An ending sequence that almost made me scream. Its like they took one shot, no one could remember their lines, but they figured it was good and the poor editor had nothing to work with.
• OR MAYBE KRISTEN STEWART JUST CAN'T MAKE A MOVIE THAT ISN'T INCREDIBLY AWKWARD AND MAKES ME WANT TO RUN OUT OF THE THEATER WITH A BAG OVER MY HEAD. I SWEAR SHE IS GOING TO THE MOVIE PANTHEON HALL OF SHAME. 

I will give them credit for forming a shield wall and some cool special effects. And of course the scenes in the village where the people were so dirty I half expected some Monty Python & The Holy Grail lines... Bring out yer dead! Perhaps that saves the movie for some of the riff-raff. Whatever.

GO BACK TO YOUR SHANTIES!