Zales, Kay, Jared, etc. all push heart shaped necklaces during this holiday. Do women actually wear those heart-shaped diamond necklaces on any occasion other than Valentines Day? I'm no expert, but I don't recall seeing many - ok never. But that's not the end of it. Then we get the "theme" jewelry that has symbolic meaning - like a cheesy union of two silver bodies wrapped around a diamond? To make it worse, these commercials come with corny one-liners and women swooning . Seriously? Why would an unwanted, unnecessary, and tacky gift bring out the passion?
Next, I get a barrage of YOU-ARE-AN-IDIOT sports radio spots for everything from jewelry to massages to restaurants.... "Guys! Want to control the remote all day? Send her to our spa so we can treat her like a queen. You get to watch sports and be the hero, and your princess will come home very appreciative." I nearly puked in my mouth when I heard that one.
Not to mention how many ads start off with "Guys! Don't forget..." How could I?? I'd have to be living under a rock. Plus, most people don't usually celebrate right on the 14th, so you have plenty of opportunities - Women especially enjoy this as it turns the holiday into some sort of love Hanukkahesque festival lasting nearly 3 days.
The message I've had pounded into my head can be summarized as:
- You are an idiot who can't remember Valentines Day
- You hate romance, let someone else do it for you
- You need tacky jewelry and one-liners to get some action
- You'd better not screw this up
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The worst part of this patronizing barrage of commercials? They reinforce the notion that men should pay money to get sex - and women love it! Why does any woman find it romantic to be treated like a prostitute? The advertisers would turn us all into mindless Johns and 50 cent hookers. Men are nothing but glorified ATM machines to their women, who return soulless sex for gifts. The satanic notion of "anything in this world can be bought with money" is sadly taught 24/7 in connection with a holiday that is meant to celebrate love - a selfless, ideal that implies sacrifice, not bribes.Do I have some solutions? No. This is a blog, not a place of answers. But we can be sure to blame Repulicans and corporations for these problems. Have a nice Valentines Day.
11 comments:
Only one man can stop the madness: Bush.
Stop the madness, Bush.
Bush?
Anyway, the commercial I hate the most is "you made me feel all warm and fuzzy." I have to agree about the hearts and chocolates. First off, the heart things are dumb. Secondly, the chocolates are usually bad. I do wonder about that jewelery though. I guess girls in high school might wear it.
I think we still implicitly imply money for sex all the time. Why does "the man" pay for dinner? Our culture is set up around the man seducing women through some sort of value: career, money, morals, etc. Sex is just a value exchange, and just because it isn't directly done with money doesn't mean it isn't about money in my opinion.
CCF
I love how you said that you would have to "live under a rock" in order to not know about Valentine's Day. That cracked me up.
CCF, great stuff. A toast to Seduction in all its forms!!
Im guessing it even goes way beyond this day or days of St. Valentine and a relationship of man and woman, husband and wife or whatever gender and relationship.
Unfortunately our culture has established and constantly reinforces buying love as well as anything else desirable emotionally traded for objects. Emotional prostitution. I imagine it starts in our lives with children who are bribed to do the things they should just do as an expectation or to set them up for success later in life.
A year of good behavior gets you presents at Christmas at minimum, a tacky diamond necklace results from love, birthday gifts to prove you care. And what is worse is it then enforced that if you don't, you don't care or love some one. That is capitalism at it's best, focused in on the most powerful buying nerve they can hit. Your emotions. You buy things so you have the desired emotions/responses coming in or behaviors you want out of others.
What you do all year should reflect your love for someone(s) at large and although we all need reminders maybe to be sure were stopping for a minute on our day to day treadmills, communicating we care, does seem a little odd to be pushed to do it and in one specific way: dinner, diamond, candy and flowers one specific day or string of days. Probably one should show someone they love them all year and communicate more than annually and maybe not bride others including starting first I believe with their children to get desired results or feel guilt if they don't.
Although adult life does reward a bit this way, but not a huge amount (so could be misleading for children) for following a path, behaving, or doing what others want you to do, but it is a larger reward and personal success to strive to be good and loving to just do it because it is maybe the right thing to do and we as humans obviously enjoy and flourish that way.
But then it seems most things are an "if you do this, you will get the big reward 'x'" and have been in many societies for a long time. Look at many religions for example. They pay off for good behavior. If you behave and follow the rules you will get "x" and you WANT "x" don't you? When instead it should be you're smart enough to know which is right and what helps and which is wrong and hurts, so do the right thing and experience the results. Think through the situation instead of being lead somewhere pursuing that "x" reward. Or so I think anyway.
Do you help by finding a missing child and returning it to their home because it gets you a reward, because it buys you a pass to an after life which no one regardless of what they say can guarantee or because it helps the child and family which creates positive momentum and actions and reactions here and now which elevates the everyone to a better place to live...
We have been rethinking holidays and who is in charge on that. I think we need time to celebrate life, but I tend to lean towards just themes, good food, friends and family as a desired holiday. I think we can reclaim holidays and take it from the company's and marketing if you and you family reject it. It is just as you stated a flood of marketing to reject. I would like to not celebrate most of them. So far we are doing Mardi Gras, Halloween, St Patrick's day (for me)which none of thes einvolve gifts and I like Christmas, but more under a time for friends and family to gather, to eat good food and enjoy the company. The gift thing is stressful and over rated. The rest is the same as this Valentine's day Holiday to me. Rewards for an expected behavior or proof of love or else you must not love...
JRF
JRF - excellent comment. And I now award you the triple cross for the longest post I've ever seen on this blog...
Not that you wanted a reward...
Oh forget it. It was well said and something we can all benefit from.
Im great for lengthy, when i have the time. Sorry! Darn unemployment!
Ha ha. So true, so true. I hope you don't mind that I linked this posting on my latest post.
Who needs Twilight men or gifts when you have these blokes on your side.
http://www.pumahardchorus.com/
Please tell me I didnt scare you with my LONGGGGGGGGG reply form posting on your blog again!
- JRF
Ha! I've just been swamped at work and sadly, I haven't really had anything I've felt like blogging about. Don't worry, I'll be back with more useless comments...
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