The Father's Lounge

Before you dismiss my proposal, just hear me out. In the modern era of gender equality and our preaching this doctrine; I think its time Father's Lounges were installed in all chapels. Women think they have a good reason to use them (see below), but I have a host of reasons why men need them too.

• Men sometimes have to feed babies too. This is very intimate bonding time that should be enjoyed without distractions. Plus falling asleep during the feeding in a comfy chair would help work productivity during the week.
• A nice quite room out of the public eye is a much better place to teach rowdy kids about "the laying on of hands" than dragging them out to the car.
• It would make an excellent place for the Bishop to catch a 15 minute power nap in the middle of a long day.
• The FL could also serve as a decompression chamber for the father about to loose his temper.
• We could get some of those awesome $5,000 sharper image massage chairs for worn-out dads that couldn't pay to get a back-rub at home.
• Men would have a place to talk sports, work and vent frustrations about our modern culture treating them as drone ATM machines and IKEA credit cards. Let's face it. This sort of meaningful discussion doesn't happen enough during moves.
• The FL would have awesome La-Z boy recliners with in seat speakers to hear talks as if they were right in their ears. The absorption of messages could increase 10 fold.
• Changing diapers in the FL would save the rest of the guys from having the reek in the regular men's room.
• Informal meetings could get tons accomplished, BBQ's, pizza parties and other ways to blow the $20 EQ budget could be arranged.
• While changing diapers in the FL, men would be free to utter phrases of shock, awe and the unintentional swear word after a massive blow-out. He'd also spare himself the jokes from deacons and disapproving stares from "has-been" dads as they shake their heads.
• The emotional comfort to the guy who lost his tree-house in a fire and now has a new "fort of security" could be a boon of celestial wonder.

Feminist Mormon Housewives agree:

"I reflected in the breastfeeding incident thread that I believe the mothers’ room at church to be the place in LDS chapels where some of the most important work of the kingdom is done...The rite of passage to motherhood including birth and adoption stories are shared and integrated. Baby showers, playdates, and moms’ nights out are arranged. Parenting exasperations and joys are shared, advice requested and given, different approaches discussed, tips about second-hand stores, preschools, etc. passed on. When our new chapel was built, I heard rumors that some of the stake leaders (women included) commented that they didn’t want to make the mother’s lounge TOO comfortable for fear that young mothers would “take advantage of it” and skip their meetings “just to chat” instead of taking care of their business (nursing, diaper changing) expeditiously and returning to their meetings. Heaven forbid mothers should bear each other’s mothering burdens, too! Well, no great harm done. In spite of the physical discomforts and disadvantages (stinky diaper pails included), the mothers’ room remains a haven, a community center, even sacred space." http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=373

If women consider these place sacred, then men should not be denied equal opportunity to these blessings! By now I'm sure you are convinced. Join me. Let's email a petition with the yes votes from my poll to SLC and request a remodel of all chapels world-wide to accommodate this essential need. I hear that sort of thing works all the time! And by the way, my wife is totally in favor of this. I love you baby! Wooo!!!