Turning Chinese

I often hear of people in the world complaining about American influence on their culture. Since our culture is pure, awesome and undiluted American goodness, I have no idea what its like to have another culture pervade my daily life. However, the following clip gives us a taste of what life will be like once the rapidly growing Chinese economy engulfs our own:

Personally, I don't think I'd mind having a ton of ultra productive women running around. Let's all head down to P.F. Chang's and make a toast to turning Chinese.

Road Trip Part 1

My family makes an annual migration to So. Cal and visits relatives along the way. I'm taking a siesta from the trip to go home and WORK. Here are a few thoughts from the trip so far:

• "Actually, this is my song." Thanks RIAA. My kids definitely got the message that music is property, not art. Nearly every song we played in the car was claimed by one of the kids. Once claimed, no one else can sing it (contrary to parental rules). They fought tooth and nail over every line of Elton's "Yellow Brick Road." As you may have guessed, we gave up on music until the crew fell asleep.
• The Female Mind - During a road trip, many random things wind up in Mom's purse. The question is whether or not you can find that item later. I've decided that a woman's purse is like her mind. To a man, it is total chaos; an unknowable abyss of stuff. Its been said 'women don't know what they want.' If so, I say Eureka! This explains why a purse seems to be an impossible labyrinth, reflecting a woman's state of mind. No wonder the "Man Bag" never worked out for Seinfeld. Like wallets, men are small minded, neatly compartmentalized and stripped down to essentials. Of course a few of us get lazy about cleaning out the wallet and we get fat. If I could easily find items in my wife's purse, it would mean I finally understand her mind. Clearly this will never happen in this lifetime.
• Red Rock Resort - Since the day it was built south of my former residence in Summerlin, I've been wanting to stay at this hotel. Thanks to 10 wonderful years with my beautiful wife, we had a good excuse to drop the kids with family and visit this hotel. I love modern architecture and contemporary furnishings so this was a perfect retreat for me. The pool was very comfortable and tame by Vegas standards. One of the best hotel experiences I've ever had. The wife reported the spa to be amazing and is plotting a return trip. 5 Stars in my humble traveler's opinion. A perfect anniversary. It took 10 years, but I finally got something right. http://www.redrocklasvegas.com/virtual_tour/

I'll rejoin the expedition later next month in So Cal, away from the breath of Satan that punishes the Las Vegas area. Until then, keep on claiming songs and threaten all who dare to sing them.

P.S. I realize my purse thing is a GROSS COGNITIVE DISTORTION. But I welcome all angry, bitter and salty feminazi comments. I'll read them as I splash on some Brute aftershave.

The Father's Lounge

Before you dismiss my proposal, just hear me out. In the modern era of gender equality and our preaching this doctrine; I think its time Father's Lounges were installed in all chapels. Women think they have a good reason to use them (see below), but I have a host of reasons why men need them too.

• Men sometimes have to feed babies too. This is very intimate bonding time that should be enjoyed without distractions. Plus falling asleep during the feeding in a comfy chair would help work productivity during the week.
• A nice quite room out of the public eye is a much better place to teach rowdy kids about "the laying on of hands" than dragging them out to the car.
• It would make an excellent place for the Bishop to catch a 15 minute power nap in the middle of a long day.
• The FL could also serve as a decompression chamber for the father about to loose his temper.
• We could get some of those awesome $5,000 sharper image massage chairs for worn-out dads that couldn't pay to get a back-rub at home.
• Men would have a place to talk sports, work and vent frustrations about our modern culture treating them as drone ATM machines and IKEA credit cards. Let's face it. This sort of meaningful discussion doesn't happen enough during moves.
• The FL would have awesome La-Z boy recliners with in seat speakers to hear talks as if they were right in their ears. The absorption of messages could increase 10 fold.
• Changing diapers in the FL would save the rest of the guys from having the reek in the regular men's room.
• Informal meetings could get tons accomplished, BBQ's, pizza parties and other ways to blow the $20 EQ budget could be arranged.
• While changing diapers in the FL, men would be free to utter phrases of shock, awe and the unintentional swear word after a massive blow-out. He'd also spare himself the jokes from deacons and disapproving stares from "has-been" dads as they shake their heads.
• The emotional comfort to the guy who lost his tree-house in a fire and now has a new "fort of security" could be a boon of celestial wonder.

Feminist Mormon Housewives agree:

"I reflected in the breastfeeding incident thread that I believe the mothers’ room at church to be the place in LDS chapels where some of the most important work of the kingdom is done...The rite of passage to motherhood including birth and adoption stories are shared and integrated. Baby showers, playdates, and moms’ nights out are arranged. Parenting exasperations and joys are shared, advice requested and given, different approaches discussed, tips about second-hand stores, preschools, etc. passed on. When our new chapel was built, I heard rumors that some of the stake leaders (women included) commented that they didn’t want to make the mother’s lounge TOO comfortable for fear that young mothers would “take advantage of it” and skip their meetings “just to chat” instead of taking care of their business (nursing, diaper changing) expeditiously and returning to their meetings. Heaven forbid mothers should bear each other’s mothering burdens, too! Well, no great harm done. In spite of the physical discomforts and disadvantages (stinky diaper pails included), the mothers’ room remains a haven, a community center, even sacred space." http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=373

If women consider these place sacred, then men should not be denied equal opportunity to these blessings! By now I'm sure you are convinced. Join me. Let's email a petition with the yes votes from my poll to SLC and request a remodel of all chapels world-wide to accommodate this essential need. I hear that sort of thing works all the time! And by the way, my wife is totally in favor of this. I love you baby! Wooo!!!

My Take on The Half-blood Prince

I'm fresh off viewing the latest Harry Potter flick, The Half-blood Prince. A very well done film and of course when it comes to adaptation, some things were right, others not. (At least from my perspective.) If you haven't read the books or want to keep adaptation surprises fresh, don't read further. If you haven't done so, read the books. Half the planet can't be wrong.

As with all of the Potter films, this one feels incredibly rushed to someone who has read the books. As a result, there are fine details or nuances I've built into scenes and characters that I miss on screen. HBP's trade mark is the teenage infatuation or puppy love moments. Snogging. Books convey thoughts and emotions with much more power and clarity, rather than trying to read an actor's face (Twilight a good example of this - too much of it). Likewise, Harry's anger, sense of loneliness and realizations of who he is are also hard to get out of Radcliffe, although I can't say an actor could do a finer job.

The opening sequences with the Death Eaters went well and I thought Michael Gambon (Dumbledore) turned in a wonderful performance. His work in the cave sequence was excellent. Most of that passage was exactly as I imagined it. Drinking all of the "Bitter Cup" in an act of sacrifice, was very powerful to me. Additionally, the Felix scene (perhaps my favorite in all the books), while impossible to replicate on screen worked well for me.

I can live with most of the modifications in this movie but the ending sequence didn't do justice. In the book, Dumbledore paralyzes Harry before he is killed. Harry has to watch Dumbledore die in a state of total helplessness. Much more effective than watching from below. Later a huge battle errupts in the castle between the DE's and the Order as well as some students. Severe harm is inflicted on many characters. In the film version, a few acts of vandalism occur, but the sudden violation of the Hogwarts safe haven and the devastation left in its wake seemed grossly understated in the film. The raising of the wands to abolish the dark mark seemed a reasonable substitute for the funeral.

Overall, I have mixed feelings. I really did enjoy the film, perhaps I just need time to digest this alternate idea of the story. If anything, this film has made me very happy that the 7th book will be split into two movies so adequate time can be given to the details, as I'm sure most fan will savor them. Until November 2010.

Double the Pleasure

Recently something my native Colorado blood called out to me and I felt compelled to hike some of the 53 peaks in Colorado over 14,000 ft. Heeding the call, I helped organize a non-sanctioned event yesterday to assault Gray's Peak and the neighboring Torreys Peak, some of the easiest hikes on the list. Here is a brief run-down of how it went:

• 7:10 AM - Arrived last at the trail head. Shawn, Mark and Paul greet me with smiles and tell me we'll have to double-time it to catch up with the others.
• 5 minutes later I am winded and wondering what I've gotten myself into.
• 15 minutes later I meet up with the rest of the pack consisting of Kevin, Bryce, Jake (the Juggernaut) and Jared. (FYI - I don't do full names on my blog).
• Shortly after hiking with the entire group, I realize I'm the weakest link and will be happy to reach the summit with them.
• I gravitate to the back of the pack and take in some of the gorgeous scenery. Lord of the Rings music echoes in my mental ipod.
• 10:30 AM - We reach the summit of Gray's Peak (14,270 ft.) to follow the journey, click on this link: http://www.14ers.com/php14ers/qpick.php?parmpeak=9 and go to routes. The views are remarkable. Regrettably, I did not stand on the rocks, fling my arms into the air and scream: "DRAAAAAGOOOOOOO!!!"
• Succumbing to peer pressure (or provoking it), I decide to go down about 1,000 ft and tackle the neighboring Torreys Peak (14,267 ft.). This ascent is more direct and taxing since the body is ready to keep going down.
• Around 11:30 AM we achieve the summit of Torreys and relax a bit. I chatted with a gentleman who has done all but six of the 53 14er's. He tells me these were his first two peaks when he started years ago and he was out of shape just like me.
• Descending to the saddle of the two peaks, we find a slushy snow field to get back to the main trail. One bad slip and its onto the human cheese grater of rocks below. (Of course, I'm crazy enough to get a photo in the middle of this.)
• Blessed with shock absorbers for knees, I bound down the trail and arrive back at the trail head around 1:40 PM.

This hike is very crowded but I didn't find that to be annoying. If anything, I enjoyed the universal feel of camaraderie among people working at a similar goal. I was stunned at the number of dogs on the trail. Ultra Sweat-proof SPF 70 still earns you a sunburn at 14,000 ft. The following link gives some more details about 14er's in Colorado: http://climbing.about.com/od/mountainclimbing/a/Fourteeners1.htm

Going up I was wondering what I'd done to myself and coming down I was thinking about which one to take on next. Perhaps the lack of oxygen and heavy breathing made me temporarily insane. But here I am the day after wanting to do more. If you would like to get involved in the next mission, shoot me an email. Until next time, happy trails to you, until we meet again.

Drenched Freedom

Greetings from Denver, Washington! I suppose I can blame my friend Tom for bringing the rain from Seattle with him when he moved back to town. I wouldn't be surprised to find Dr. Cullen and his impossibly good looking children move in across the street given all the rain and cloud cover. Of course I won't complain since I live in a house with no A/C and no house fan. Here are some thoughts from the 4th of July weekend on events and some flicks.

• UP - Took in the latest Pixar offering over the weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed it. An older man looses his childhood sweetheart after a happy life, but they were unable to have children. After his wife dies, he vows to live the adventure they never took and he winds up in South America via a ton of colorful helium filled balloons. One thing I was not prepared for: tears. Yes. I shed a few in this movie. In fact, when Julie looked over said, "are you crying?" I started to laugh at myself. Several sequences are non-verbal, allowing the music and facial expressions to carry the scene. Yes, its just a cartoon, but the message and the emotions were superb. Perhaps earlier in my life it would have been less stirring, but as I approach the 10 year anniversary, I can only imagine what the loss feels like after 40 or 50 years. I'm making it sound so serious. Like most Pixar works, there is a fun, whimsical feel to the movie that my kids loved. Especially the short at the beginning and the talking dogs. Overall, I'd say this is in my top 3 of Pixar "classics."
• Fore! - On the 3rd I went golfing for the first time in my life with my own set of clubs (which shall remain nameless). Despite the empowerment from my own clubs, my game still stunk. At least I had the "UT" clubs to help me along. I initially thought of them as the Utah clubs, giving me the power of both Zion and Mecca in one swing. But then Adam informed me that UT, just means utility club. I was sorely disappointed. Best part of the nine holes? I found a gold painted ball. My short game still stunk using it, but failure never looked so cool.
• Poor Man's Horseshoe's - On the 4th, we went to a friends house with a large backyard for a BBQ. Thanks to a simply amazing canopy, the rain did not deter the event. As the rain cleared, we began to play a game similar to horseshoes, but with bean bags, thrown onto boards with a hole cut out. If the bag lands on the board its 1 point, in the hole, 3 points. I'll spare all of the rules, etc. but can say it was a highly addictive game. I nearly screamed in anguish after blowing a 9-2 lead (the game is played to 11 points).
• World Trade Center - I watched this on the 4th to remember sacrifices made on 9/11. The movie would be more appropriately titled, "Buried under the World Trade Center." This was a difficult movie to watch. Not because it was poorly made, but it is based on a true story of 2 Port Authority cops that get buried in the rubble of the first tower. A living nightmare. Much of the movie is them talking and flash-backs of their families trying to get information about them. There are no high-tech special effects shots of the planes slamming into the buildings or fast-paced action sequences in stairwells etc. At first, I was a bit disappointed, but realized the filmmakers stuck to the story and avoided sensationalizing the violence. Many have said that anti-war movies like Platoon and Full Metal Jacket glorify the violence and instead of horrifying us, it becomes "war porn" to young men who think the action is exciting if not comical. So in that sense, this movie shows the sufferings and the horrors of the day, without glorifying the violence. And when help does come it is truly a wonderful thing to watch.
• Patriots - Lastly, the WTC movie made me realize something those cops have in common with our early patriots and all who have fought for our freedom. They put their lives on the line so others might live. Not for honor or glory, but because it was the right thing to do. In doing so, these men truly exemplified the love and courage of Christ. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." So at the conclusion of a wonderful holiday, where I enjoyed so many blessings, I'd like to express my gratitude for those who have served and those currently working to protect our rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. May God bless them and their families for their sacrifices and may we never forget what has been done for us.

I can hardly believe 2009 is halfway spent and you just lost a good chunk of it if you read this far. So eat your orange wedges, listen to the coach yell and may each of you find success in the second half!