70s Night at the Pepsi Center

A friend of mine recently hooked me up with some tickets to go see the Nuggets tangle with LeBron James at the Pepsi Center or more affectionately known by locals as "The Can." (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepsi_Center for hard, undeniable facts that I don't care to re-hash). Can is hardly an appropriate description for this lavish modern-day gladiatorial area. Unfortunately for me, the Nuggets had all the fire of a bunch of pixies in pink tutus. Most of the game they were down by nearly 20 as King James showed his prowess while lame 70s themed promotions occured. Groovy Baby Yeah!! Here a few quick thoughts:

1. LeBron is a FREAK OF NATURE. For some reason seeing him person and at eye-level gave me an appreciation of how tall the guy is compared to everyone else and how the dude is built like a tank. It reminded me of how Karl Malone made the other guys on the court look like girls. Melo looked like some punk kid next to him.

2. The Nugz have the best PA announcer in the world! Kyle Speller has 1.21 Gigowatts in his voice, but due to extreme apathy from our team, he could not ignite the crowd despite his best attempts. I secretly wish I had the pipes to do something like that for a living. I'd live in a stone castle with the "Bulls Warm Up" theme (on the left if you care to listen) playing over and over and me introducing my favorite athletes of all time and doing NFL Films lines "Larry Czonka played full-back like a horse ploughs a field... with a high pain threshold and great determination."

3. The Dancers. Dude. If you went to a game and had seats placed in front of these girls, you'd get cold-clocked by your girlfriend/wife. Its about 1 or 2 steps away from the ol Spearmint Rhino.

4. Games go by quickly when you are poaching a good seat. I snuck down to the first level after the first quarter and nearly wept like a child with fear. Everytime someone would pass by, I'd notice out of the corner of my eye and start forming plans to explain myself. One might say I have authority and punishment issues, but it sure made a horrific game go fast.

5. The parking was awesome. And that's all I'm gonna say, because I don't want anyone else using it.

6. Handle the hot stuff. Thanks to my sneaky seat maneuver, I had to hold the fort and was unable to score any grub at half-time. However, a jalapeno bratwurst was presented to me before the start of the third quarter. It looked like hell on a German Sausage. There must have been 10-15 small peppers on there. I dared to nibble a few and found that the bun actually helped significantly with the heat. Perhaps I'll start taking some Costco rolls with me when I dine Mexican in the future.