Yes, I have finished the final installment of the Twilight SAGA, Breaking Dawn. For once, I’ll actually get into some serious spoilers, so don’t go any further if you don’t want the surprises ruined. I heard a song the other day on a CD given to my kids after a birthday party that made my blood run cold in fear. Listen to it if you wish on the sidebar (See You Again - near the bottom). I have renamed it, Bella’s Theme. Since it is a Hannah Montana song, it becomes even more relevant to the teenage boy-crazy theme of the SAGA.First off, I think this was my favorite book. The Edward obsession was thankfully dialed back big time and there was more plot development. However, if you read a lot of suspense books, the action in this book is still painfully slow, but entertaining nonetheless. I actually re-read two chapters I particularly liked: New and First Hunt.
Curveball #1: The Pregnancy. This didn’t surprise me too much, but I felt like the justification for it was a bit lame based on the rules she had created for her world. At least it spared us from Izzy Swan going to Dartmouth and being insanely jealous over every chick that ogled Edward in his letterman’s sweater. The Honeymoon stuff was pretty funny, we never got much from Superman and Lois Lane, so it was certainly novel reading. Knowing how intense some women are about their young, I wasn’t too surprised by her 180 on having a kid. Anything from Eddie is to DIE for.
Curveball #2: The Imprinting on the Loch Ness Monster. This still creeps me out. I remember saying DAAAANG! as I read it, but it was fun. “So mom, remember when you used to make out with my soul-mate and he was totally obsessed with you?” Yeah. Good times. I guess it felt OK by the end of the book. She still seemed like an exorcist baby to me. I kept waiting for her to flip out and feast on someone.
Curveball #3: The TOTALLY HAPPY ENDING (Yea!). This was a bit hard to swallow, being the bitter, cynical, sarcastic dude that I am. Tragedy mystically makes things meaningful and helps us feel better about how much our lives stink. Uber-happy endings are too sweet. Like eating an entire ball of cotton candy, with that clenching pain in your jaw. Bella got everything she wanted. So did Eddie and Jake and Nessy and Alice and Charlie and his dog and the Vamps from Ireland. Only one salty chick of no consequence died. I guess this is teenage girl fantasy land, and in that world none of the people you like are on the chopping block.
Either Mrs. Meyer was writing the stuff that genuinely makes her happy or she was just trying to mess with all of us. I’m betting on the first, it seems consistent with the way The Host ended. I bet Meyer's husband has dreams of killing Edward, or loves him for making his family millions...
Did Meyer just finish a best-selling series that tells young girls that everything in life is centered around getting swept off your feet and married to a hot guy, having babies and ignoring your education and anything mature in life? Probably. Am I trying to rip on Utah women? No, but I’m sure many will not be pleased with the outcome of this book and its total lack of feminazi principles. And let’s not even get started on this being a let-down in terms of great literature. Come on people, this is FANTASY!!! I don’t expect to get accepted to
Hogwarts any day soon, I won’t become a super-hero, dungeon master, or a transformer. Let’s live a little.Maybe the reason girls went gaga over this SAGA is because it gave them everything they yearned for, forbidden by our feminist/politically-correct culture. Gotta fight the power. You go Bella. Chasing down those perfectly chiseled dreams and making them yours. GO TEAM EDWARD!!! WOOOO!!!
!PREDICITON! – If any movie has a shot to beat the insidious $600M mark set by Titanic, Twilight is it. Never underestimate the power of teenage female movie goers with daddy dearest’s $$$. Good thing my daughters are too young for all this. Anyhow, The SAGA is now over for me and I can get back to being a greasy, swarthy, Star Wars guy.
2 comments:
I must admit that I didn't read the post, but I just want to know one thing:
If you consider yourself to be a true Stephanie Meyer fan, where were you when she was signing mint editions of her new book in the BYU bookstore less than a fortnight ago!
Let me know when it becomes the latest and greatest LDS hit movie. (Then I'll see it in the dollar. Maybe.)
But in all sincerity, lots of love for keeping your mind open and actually reading something of your own volition (unlike this guy). Just don't become a host!
I would say I'm a connisour more than a fan. Its not really an LDS thing, but it is big in the LDS scene as one of our own hits the national stage.
I said in the post that the movie has potential, but after watching a few previews, I think it will be HORRIBLE. Hopefully, I'll be proved wrong.
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