Getting My A$%# Handed to Me

Last night the Lizard and I threw down on Black Friday shopping and decided to play some Nintendo Land when we got home. This game has a mode where you can go head to head or have a group competition over a bunch of mini-games. It really is quite fun... until you kid absolutely takes you to the woodshed.

Yep. My girl now owns me at video games. Normally I hear of young men that secretly cry or feel bad after beating their dad in one-on-one basketball or chess. I guess little girls missed that memo. Slammed my face into the floor and mopped it. I got every insult Mordecai and Rigby ever came up with.

Truth be told, I wasn't even that upset. Heck, I might play for 30 mins a month vs. this kid who is playing on a regular basis and has Gen Y powers. And that's what makes this a true end of an era in my life. I suck and I don't care. I've moved on from being good at something younger people tend to do.

I'm officially OLD.

 

NO MORE PATIO SHOTS

I know this has "gone viral" but I must post this for posterity. The mic drop at the end just puts the icing on the cake... or the snow on the table... shoot me.

http://www.9news.com/news/local/article/365622/346/9NEWS-anchor-pleads-for-better-snow-pictures

Catching Fire - Merchandising!

Catnip. A Baker's son with a name that sounds like Pita and the boy named Gale. Love triangle shoved down our throats for all the Twihards. And a bloody revolution. These are the 75th Hunger Games and it definitely caught fire on the screen. Rarely do I say this, but I think I liked the movie better than the book. 

WHY???

It simply spares you the one thing I detest in this series. Endless insufferable whining from Katniss. Instead, it focuses on the pain and courage required for a rebellion. I honestly don't feel like all of the detail of the book made it more enjoyable. I'd say I liked it better than the first movie as well. Plus, Caesar is even more fun to watch in this installment. 

My personal favorite moment. Early on, Katniss is about to shoot some wild Turkeys. As she draws back for the shot, I heard the Boss chanting, kill, kill, kill, kill... She really hates those animals. Ask her about it sometime. 

So back to the point of my heading. This is one of those movies where you can sell action figure dolls, but not much else without serious backlash. But if we threw out the whole PC issue, here is some merch I would totally love to buy:

• Finnick's Trident - The Gator would flip out with that featured under the tree. 
• Peeta's "Easy Bake" Bakery - If girls can make brownies with light bulbs, then my son can make a lovely rosemary olive loaf too. 
• Dresses and Suits that burst into flames for teenagers. Prom. Legendary. 
• Dream Light - Let your child find soothing comfort in a favorite tribute doll that plays the capitol theme song while shining the dead of the day on the ceiling. They could customize it so you can upload photos to show the bully from school or the mean girl who said your arms look fat. I always sleep better pondering the death of my enemies. 
• And Chocolate bars for each of the 12 districts. Nothing sweeter than feasting on the oppressed. 

Yeah. Like my merch, this whole book series for teens is pretty messed up. My only hope is that since this film largely succeeded in removing all of the Katniss drama, perhaps they can do the same with the third book and let this trilogy end in something other than disgrace. 

NYC - THE ASSAULT

Last weekend the Boss and I crossed one thing off our bucket list, a full blown trip to the Big City. We arrived Thursday afternoon and went back on Sunday staying in the W Hotel in Times Square off Broadway. Trip was sponsored by our Venture miles and home renovation! Many thanks to the Google Maps App which had all of the train routes and compass pointing me in the right direction. Here is a brief rundown of our mission to ingest as much of NYC in four days as possible. I hope you are warm and comfortable. Here is a pic with one of the new world trade center towers that we saw.

• Tons of subway travel. I love subways so we used this system to-and-from the airport and everything in between. Which also meant a ton of walking. We never took a cab and the Boss confided at the end of our trip that she was sad that she had never hailed a cab. Normally, I'm a sucker to make her dreams come true, but this one didn't happen. No crazy people or encounters on the trains. It was largely a model showcase for the MTA to these tourists. 
• Accidentally went to Brooklyn. TWICE. I thought the sign for DUMBO (not the Disney Elephant) was talking about me. 
• So much walking demanded some Gellin insoles for the Boss's boots. Apparently they were not made for walkin. 
• Snackbox in Times Square. Best donuts I've ever had. Period. Heck, go there just for that. Coconut Creme and Peanut Butter. The texture was amazing. Krispy Kreme really is white trash. This place has ruined my opinion of all other donuts... not that I'm going to quit eating them anytime soon. 
• LDS Temple. Its awesome. You should go... but it may have technically been the priciest thing on our list. Steve Young basically told Jerry Rice the same thing. 
• BTW we met a great couple there that we hung out with off/on for several days: the Today Show, Empire State and the MET.
• You know I don't do names on here, but one of our new friends is a full-on doppelganger for Stephanie Meyer. I was half expecting her to get stopped over it. 
• And no, for once in my life I did not ask any embarrassing questions about it. (although I should have).  
• LOTS AND LOTS OF PIZZA. DURING THE DAY AND LATE AT NIGHT. By far the best was John's on Bleecker Street. It was condemned last year for infestation... its that old and yes there was still a serious line to get in. Its that good. I'm that much of a tourist. Go look it up. It was fantastic. Thanks to "The Sweat" for that recommendation. 
• Second place was some dive directly southeast of the Empire State. Yes, the pizza made me giddy. 
• Jersey Boys - This musical had everything you'd want in a Broadway show, good story, laughs, lots of fun music and tons of swearing. Yes, leave the kids at home for this one and rat me out to my Bishop so I can become the hymn book coordinator. 
• TOURIST JUNK SHOPPING IN CHINATOWN - I have no idea what possess people to want to buy lame tee shirts, statues and knock-off designer bags from theses places. Hence, the reason I still find my wife full of mystery. But hey, this whole trip was not just for me. 
• MoMA - I'm sure the Boss would say "I have no idea what possess people to want to blow $25 to look at kids paint splotches and see pointless works of art where silence is a 4'33 song." And she is totally right. I actually had more fun at the San Francisco and DC MoMAs than this one. Its got all of the Picasso's, etc. but I want the truly crazy stuff like rooms filled with machines cutting paper into art. 
• The MET - Don't know what to say. Its the MET. We went and saw nothing good. Nothing good? What do you mean!? We saw priceless works of art.. we ate pancreas!? (name that reference!)
• Grand Central Station - Nice architecture. Lots of trains, beams of light and a clock. 
• 9/11 Memorial - The museum was not yet open, but the waterfalls in the foot prints of the two towers was spiritual and haunting. The holes seems to just drag you down to the sorrow of that moment and the water has a cleansing aura. Very well done. The new towers look cool, it will be nice to see the whole thing completed. BTW - they are making a killing off the entry fees.

• Wall Street - Yep. Satan and his minions are there with a ton(s) of gold beneath the Fed according to the Museum of Finance. The bull statue was cool, except for all the annoying people trying to get a picture touching its balls. At least I saw no one treating it like the Blarney Stone...
• Cheese-steak Cart - Famished and wanting after the EPIC FAILURE of Champ's deli to produce a sandwich worth eating (yes we actually threw away $18 worth of food. Why? Because we were better than it) we found this cart. Cheese whiz, peppers and steak? It was bliss. 
• Found Fletcher Street. Seemed like a tiny alley that time forgot.Took a picture. Apparently its getting a make-over. Go Fletcher Street!  http://www.lowermanhattan.info/construction/project_updates/30_fletcher_street_79675.aspx
• Slept in twice. Time well spent. 
• BUT DID NOT SLEEP IN on Friday for THE COMMUNIST TODAY SHOW.
• My precious Broncos Sign was made for free. "Mile High Madness | Go Broncos!"
• My precious Broncos Sign did not make it into the broadcast even though they said it would
• The only reason they asked us to be in that "so called fame shot" was becuase my wife is so beautiful... and we had Stephanie Meyer with us.
• Boss shook Al Roker's hand. I had chills. 
• Hear the news delivered from a communist perspective. I was tempted to try to get the crowd to start chanting DRAGO! DRAGO! DRAGO! 
• Stayed wayyyy too long. I ran away to Walgreens and got warm for a good clip of the time. 
• FAO - It was just like Big. The piano was there and its all 30+ years old and completely jumped the shark. 
• Dylan's Candy Bar. Tons of candy, loud music, kid friendly with a bar upstairs. New York!
• Serendipity 3 - The home of the original iced hot chocolate. Yes, I know that's an oxymoronic food but I didn't invent it. Worth the 45 minute wait? You bet. It was charming and the bizarre Summer Bries sandwich was delicious. 
• I can't believe I've typed this much already and you are still reading. You deserve THE TRIPLE CROSS. (name that reference!)
• Starbucks truly is on every other corner and the lines to get a stupid hot chocolate are insane. 
• Seems like 1/3 of all women were wearing spandex or tights. Often with no skirt and no it was not always attractive. Yep, that questionable look may be coming soon to your hood. 
• Saw lots of hipsters with ironic modes of transportation and popular counter culture clothing... Good for them. 
• Peanut Butter & Co. This was a pleasant surprise next to NYU in "THE VILLAGE" (Greenwich). I had a maple peanut butter bacon sandwich and it was jaw dropping or locking. Boss got the Elvis. Even better. 
• Central Park. Its nice. But to a guy from Colorful Colorado, it doesn't do much for me. Bought some chestnuts that were roasted, but not over an open fire. They seemed awfully bland. No wonder I've never had them before. 
• It was fun to muse over how many times this place has been mangled in super-hero battles while walking around. 
• Did I say we ate a ton of food? 
• I should also mention we walked it all off. I weighed less after the trip than before. So did the Boss.  
• EAT THAT NEW YORK CITY!!! I DEFY YOU!!!

My biggest take away from the trip was how much fun I had with my wife. Take any couple with nearly 15 years of history and get them in each other's faces for 4 days non-stop in the NYC pressure cooker and tempers could flare. Quite the opposite for us. I wish I could do nothing but tour the world with her. But alas, these are the days of our lives and at least I get to spend a few great ones like these with her alone once every three years.

Now go and do all the stuff we did. Seriously. The list is not long enough when you are with someone you love. Here are some of the pics. Don't tell anyone who we are. 

ENDER - The End of Card?

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them.... I destroy them.” A.E. Wiggin

This is a bit late in coming, but wanted to chime in with my thoughts on this book adaptation. Card is probably one of the best known LDS authors (not counting that mom in AZ) and has a TON of material that could be made into movies. I read an article with Card saying this film was like an audition to Hollywood for his other books. If this one makes it, others can follow. Which makes sense, movies on this scale need to be bankable and have some built-in measure of success or following before being made. So... does this movie do the book justice and create a huge market for adapting Card's works into film?

The short answer is NO.

According to Box Office Mojo, this thing cost $110M to make and after the first couple of weeks (where most the bling is made) it only made about $63M world wide. That's basically a death knell for adapting the rest of his works since this was regarded as his best or most popular book. Some say the gay rights activists killed the momentum of the film. HOGWASH. Are you serious? They may not like Card, but hardly have the time or inclination to do serious boycott/damage to the film. The target audience for this movie was not the gay community. Like politics, you need to energize your base and win over new/swing supporters. The base is not large or outspoken and off the cuff it looks like another sci-fi movie with explosions.

This movie in my opinion was as good as one could hope for. The production values were strong, acting was good enough, music and effects worked nicely. Can't recall anything super-awkward or silly. However, many including Card had thought this book un-adaptable since its written largely in between the ears. It did an OK job of showing you what happened on the outside, but it failed to really convey Ender's personal struggle and genius, which are what makes character and the book so popular... and that is what the rest of his books typically rely on as well. Perhaps this movie really needed another 30-45 mins to explore battle school and give Ender more time to develop on screen?

I was particularly disgusted that many of the "fart" references from the book failed to make it into the film. 

So its sad that no more Card works are coming to the cinema anytime soon. I wish they would, but my tastes don't match the budgets, electoral college or the popular vote. This flick is definitely worth a rental and may get you interested in a bunch of other books that I loved, so I guess this can't be all bad for Card and his portfolio after all.