Am I a bad person? Most would probably say yes - if they were in the room while I watched My Sister's Keeper. The film is an adaptation of a Jodi Picoult novel designed to do two things. 1. Get you seething with anger 2. Make you cry.
On the other side of the coin, G.I. Joe had two purposes, 1. Make me say words like cool, awesome and rad 2. Fill me delusions of grandeur that I could be a super-solider fighting alongside hot solider chicks, hunting down hot villain chicks and Scottish guys with metal faces.
Both of these movies share the same annoying problem. Blatantly pandering to my emotions and lack of a safety tip at the end of the film.
Obviously all movies have some sort of agenda when telling their story. But when the agenda takes over everything... I check out and go into ridicule mode. A mode I dislike because it usually gets me in trouble with the boss who hates my sass; but I can't help it. So on this evening, I spent two some-odd hours ripping on a film with a girl puking blood and her family disintegrating. Yes, I am a bad person.
Don't get me wrong, I tear up all the time. Here is a quick spontaneous list of flicks that got me misty (which does not mean full on tears, just the welling of the eyes):
The Shawshank Redemption
UP
My Life
Armageddon
Charlie (I had no idea she would die)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Its a Wonderful Life
Steel Magnolias
Top Gun
Schindler's list
Saving Private Ryan
Bridge to Terrabithia
Shadowlands
Fellowship of the Ring - LOTR
The Mail Box
Cypher in the Snow
Glory
Ponet
Big Fish
P.S. I Love You
The Fountain
Cinema Paradiso
Hoosiers
The Blind Side
OK. I'll stop, you get the picture. When I left on my mission back in the day, I couldn't get tears to save my life. I actually prayed once to be able to more fully feel emotion so I could relate to others. Ask and ye shall receive. Some of you may be mocking me right now.
I'm going to state something each of you intrinsically knows deep down... with every fiber of your being - The Best Meal of the Week happens after Church. Why? Here are some possible reasons:
Your brain associates the end of church with breaking a fast and therefore you have a "Pavlovian" need to consume food, which always tastes better after a period of abstinence.
We rush so much to get to church that we don't have a proper meal before leaving, making us famished during the 3rd hour.
After feasting spiritually, our physical stomachs throw a tantrum for being left out.
It is a special time to reconnect with our instinctive roots to hunt and gather, scavenge and use our cunning to acquire food before others do, thus ensuring our survival.
Leftovers Rock!!
Ravenous eating ensures a stellar nap afterward.
Unfortunately, my last reason also brings me to a lament. - "OH THAT CHURCH COULD ALWAYS START AT 10:00 AM!! THEN WOULD MY STOMACH AND MY NAPS BE AT EASE!!"
Some of you might be thinking you love church in the afternoon because it means you get to sleep in. If you are thinking that, I hope you enjoy not having small children. Adorable as they are, they vaporize the very thought of sleeping in. So naturally, my catching up has to be done via naps. But naps aren't the only reason I loathe "the start time" of afternoon church. Here are a few more.
The post church feeding frenzy is dampened due to the fact a real meal will likely be ready in 1 hour. This causes wifemom to yell at you for only doing what is RIGHT and NATURAL after church!!
1-4 PM is natural nap time for infants and toddlers who take revenge on all with ears to hear when their schedule is thrown off.
Home teaching at 10:00 AM is not as cool as 4:00 PM. End of story.
The ward before you messes up all of the chairs.
The day or WEEKEND is pretty much over when you get home. Tears.
So today I rejoice in my 9:00 AM start time, for the last time this year until 2011 when I shall once again know the beauty of Sunday, Lovely Sunday.
Some random thoughts from my trip today to Copper Mountain.
Never go to a major resort during the Christmas season. This place made Disneyland lines seem like a fast food joint. It took nearly an hour in line for the first lift, while my ankles cursed me.
Which leads me to my second thought. Ski boots could be the most painful things invented since the corset. I thought I was going to break my ankle getting my foot into the boot. 18th century Victorian chicks have nothing on me. $2o says the CIA is putting those things on terrorists and making them walk around until they talk.
I used to fancy my attitude on the slopes in a Stone Temple Pilots sort of fashion. The problem with that is I have no skill for moguls or the vertical limit. I therefore accept my style has changed to James Taylor, which was playing in my mental ipod during a few relaxing runs down the hill. Like good cheese, I age well... with all kinds of fungus.
My most profound cursing moments have generally occurred either skiing, snowshoeing, or installing a ceiling fan. As you could guess, they all stem from my tremendous ineptitude in both major and minor motor skills. However, I'm proud to say that despite trying to teach Julie to ski today and suffering a few wipe-outs, no string of profanity passed my lips. Once again, cheese... fungus, and my first born appears to be a natural, showing the gene pool can be spared from its predecessors.
Here are some looks at what I avoided today by adapting the James Taylor philosophy of skiing. The music is PRICELESS! Yeah. That's why I don't do moguls.
My wife shared this with me yesterday and I was shocked to see an old college friend in this hilarious spoof of Twilight. Carl, your delivery of "someone brought a snack" was worthy of winning a Road Show Oscar. I wonder how many times he's been to Duck Beach? If you are not LDS, this will probably go over your head, but I'll be happy to explain if you have questions.
Its freezing here and the roads are continually coated in ice. My car is turning into Lot's wife. I can almost hear it screaming. On to the book reviews.
Catching Fire - Part 2 of the Hunger Games Trilogy or should I say SAGA? The death match is over, but our hero must show she can love two hunky men at the same time... yeah, I read this book. Now that the movie rights have been purchased by Lionsgate, I wonder who they'll get to play Katniss. Perhaps the idea of a deadly bow-hunter woman will become all the rage in fashion trends? The fashion designer Chinna (in the book) will become an icon for designers everywhere. Personally, if Julie ran around the house dressed like a warrior princess sporting a headband, magical bracelets and a set of bow and arrows, I'd be a very happy guy. She'd truly be living up to the last name. Tangent.
I burned through this book, but it didn't have the same zing of the first. I don't want to give things away in the plot, but Christy's comments became a self-fulfilling prophecy for me. Beginning - good, middle - meh, end - good. Ms. Collins appears to be doing the love triangle to sell books in Stephanie Meyer fashion, but I'll withhold judgement until the final book. I still recommend getting into this series and can't wait to get over the nearly punitive cliff hangar at the end of the book.
Good to GREAT - Fantastic business book by Jim Collins. Best part? Its actually a bit of a page turner and loaded with principles that can be applied to almost anyone in any walk of life. Gospel resonance with no Stephen Covey. It chronicles companies that made the leap from being good to great companies over a 40 to 60 year time frame in comparison with similar companies that didn't have success. It was something like watching a special on the History Channel. Which I think would be a great idea for a spin off from the History Channel. Many of the concepts and principle are simple, timeless and easily understood. The first four chapters are great reading on successful leadership principles (Level 5 Leadership), confronting brutal facts and creating a culture of discipline.
The following clip from Batman Begins demonstrates the pitiful state of the good who have not yet become great... until the invitation arrives.
Yes, in my quote world this captures the essence of the book - "If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal... and if they can't stop you... Then you become something else entirely - A legend."
WAR OF GIFTS - I've become a fan of Orson Scott Card and really enjoy his Ender character, even if he turned out to be an empathetic wuss afraid to open up a can at the end of his life. This book is about a kid raised by a fanatical minister drafted to attend Battle School. The book centers around this boy ruining the last shred of Christmas at the Battle School. Why? He has serious issues with Santa. Check out his old man's sermon:
"Saint Nick is a Mask!... He is the false beard and the false laugh worn by the drunken servants of the God of Frivolity... Greed and covetousness are the gifts he instills in the hearts of our children! O God, save us from the Satan of Santa! Keep our children's eyes averted from his malicious, predatory gaze! Do not seat our children upon his lap to whisper their coveting into his stony ear! He is an idol of idolatry! God knows what spirit animates these idols and makes them laugh their ho, ho whoredoms and abominations and braying jackassery!"
"Satan is a liar every time! When Santa puts a lie on the lips of parents, the seed of that lie is planted in the hearts of their children and when that seed come to flower and bears fruit, the fruit of that lie is faithlessness. You do not deserve the trust of your children when you lie for Satan!" "Yes! your children whisper their secret desires to Satan and he will answer their prayers, not with the presents they seek, and certainly not with the presence of God Immanuel! No, he will answer their prayers with the ashes of sin in their mouths, with the poison of atheism and unbelief in the plasma of their blood. He will drive out the hemoglobin and replace it with hellish lust!"
Now I've ruined Christmas like I did Halloween. But who cares? Have some more chips and guacamole. Thanks for being a part of my one man book club.
Am I a bad person? Most would probably say yes - if they were in the room while I watched My Sister's Keeper. The film is an adaptation of a Jodi Picoult novel designed to do two things. 1. Get you seething with anger 2. Make you cry.
