Fixing Overtime

During a long road-trip this week I had an epiphany while listening to endless coverage of the upcoming Superbowl. The topic was NFL overtime, some love it, others hate it. I'm make it clear right now that I'm a hater.

Why should any athletic contest be decided by a coin toss? Of course the defense has a chance to stop the offense, but let's face it, the game is geared for offense, most of the penalties favor offense and teams don't even need to score a touchdown. All it takes is a few first downs, a kick, and its over.

Boo.

For instance. Earlier this year the Chargers may have beaten the Colts regardless of the overtime format, but the refs handed them three very questionable calls that kept their drive alive until they scored. No chance for the venerable Peyton Manning to create some drama and answer back. That would be too interesting. Just cut to commercial, pay your taxes and shut your mouth. NFL overtime stinks.

I have not come to just whine today, I have a solution. Let's put the "foot" back in football. Let's get the equal opportunity of college football back into overtime. Give me a shoot-out. I say we can have it all. Here is my ideal overtime format:

• First overtime, college format but from the 40, not the 25.
• Second overtime, if the first ends in a tie, we move on to the shoot-out. Each kicker gets a try with an opposing blocking unit from the 45. If they tie, keep moving it back 5 yards to a 55 yard field goal.
• If both teams survive that, we repeat the process. Until a winner is PROVEN.

This allows the NFL to remain unique from the college game, and will create tremendous drama for America's #1 sport, making it even better than before. Think of the pressure upon scoring a touchdown and deciding whether or not to go for 2 in an NFL game. The nerve-racking anxiety of multiple field goals, Can you feel it? - Just do it!! I'm lovin it!!

If you disagree, I hope you enjoy your Vegas CRAP-shoot games where the refs significantly control the outcome. For all those with the competitive flame burning bright in their souls, who dream of a better tomorrow and the dawning of a new era... join me. Change is what we need, not overtime as usual. We can change the system. We will change the system and the future has never looked brighter. YES WE CAN!!

Hot Razzies

Today I have to rip on a movie I just watched under the guise of scoring "wife points." Then, I discuss a recent and potentially dangerous obsession. First up, the Grecco-britan musical, Mama Mia.

During my stint in Las Vegas, Mama Mia looked like one of the few things on the Strip I could go for. But I couldn't seem to stomach the idea of paying $200 to watch a play. So I took the $1 option at Red Box. Now we're saving money!! Unfortunately, that was the best part of it. Basically this movie seemed miscast and horribly sung (for the most part). I know several musically discerning people that may read this, and if you loved it, I have no more respect for you. The problem boils down to Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan. Both are wonderful actors that I've enjoyed over the years, but neither of them should be leads in a musical. It was awkward and painful every time 007 opened his mouth to sing.

Here is the worst part. This movie brought to mind "Waiting for Guffman," (a Christopher Guest flick - Best in Show, This is Spinal Tap) one of the greatest mockumentaries of all time. For those of you unfamiliar with Guffman, its about a play put on by some local-yokals in a small town in Missouri, led by a flaming, yet in-the-closet director. The cast thinks they are awesome and have a shot at going to Broadway. Of course they are terrible. Here is a sample.

To put it bluntly, these guys do a better job trying to be awful than the Streep and 007. How sad. I'm sure the play is better, the ABBA songs are great, I nearly wanted to dance, but then remembered I'm white, uncoordinated and don't know the lyrics. So I sat down.

Onto my newest obsession. Hot Sauce. Years ago in Boston I decided I needed to develop some intestinal fortitude against spicy food. (You could say I was inspired by how the Dread Pirate Roberts developed immunity to Iocane powder). So I began to gradually put more and more Tabasco sauce on my nightly dish of a raccoon meat meat, fake cheese wrap. At last, I could bear the sauce, peppers were still punishing, but I could hang in there.

I gained some sanity over the years until "The Sacramento Treat" recently introduced me to Habanero sauce. This combined with my recent eating of the jalapeno bratwurst sparked my interests to push my pain threshold higher. So I got a bottle of Habanero sauce and went to work. Now my usual Tapatio is just flavor. I find myself soaking all kinds of random foods in my Habanero sauce as my wife says: WHY??? I think I might be going insane, loosing my sense of taste or I've found another way to get an Endorphin high. Read the following blog from "The original Juan" (the pun is intended) to learn more about the science of spice.

http://www.originaljuan.com/heat_gauge/

The Wii in Review

Yes, I am breaking new ground once again, by discussing a new topic. Video Games. How many hours have I wasted/loved playing them? I'd guess 1 full year of my life. On to the game reviews. I'll rank the games I've played from from least to most beloved.

10. Wii Tamagochi. A kiddie popularity contest. We got it for free. I think they make people play this game in Hell.

9. Wii Princess. Disney Princess Stuff. No one gets hurt. Bought this for the kids. Enough said.

8. Winter Sports. The game control is detestable. I played it once and vowed to never touch it again. $10 spent, that could have gone to a trip to Casa Bonita.

7. Wii Play. This is a standard for most Wiiers as it comes with a controller. Most of the games are fun, but not great. Good to play with the kids. The one exception is the Tank Battles game. That makes the whole purchase worthwhile.

6. Super Smash Bros. This the equivalent of Wrestlemania with every popular and unknown Nintendo character ever. It's a good time, but a bit limited in moves. There is a story to play through, but this game just doesn't quite hold my interest. Great for group gatherings.

5. Wii Sports. This is great fun. However, the graphics stink and it feels like a promo for game developers. The Bowling, Tennis and Baseball offer hours of enjoyment and never seem to get old. The training modules are also fun to do. However, this is not much of a work-out and once you figure out things can be done with the flick of a wrist, the "athletic" side of playing video games goes out the window.

4. Metroid Prime 3 - Corruption. Still haven't finished this game, probably the best Metroid game I've played in terms of graphics, etc. Still is not the classic NES or SNES versions, but a worthy sequel. This game finally got me used to rotating my upper torso and walking in a different direction (this was the reason I could never play Halo). Thanks Samus! If you enjoy first person shooter games, this is probably one of the best available on the Wii.

3. Super Mario Galaxy. Wow. This game blows my mind. The 3D nature of the game is fantastic. Its simply very entertaining to play. Be forewarned, you'll get a kink in your neck from always trying to get a better look at the screen. Some people may hate this, but I love the challenge. Nothing new in the way of story or plot, but this is just pure gaming fun that anyone can enjoy. I highly reccomend it.

2. Mario Kart Wii. Tons of levels, fun music, best interactive family game ever. Wii love it!! (Ok go throw up now). Don't bother getting the Wii Wheels to play this unless your kids beg. Totally unnecessary. My advice, unlock all of the levels playing 50cc (easiest settings) so you have more courses to choose from. If you ever feel good about yourself, go online and play other people and return to the dust of humility. This is incredible bang for the buck and we'll be playing for years to come.

1. Legend of Zelda - Twilight Princess. This is the game of my childhood - why I've lost a year of my life to VG. Obviously I'm partial to Zelda, which is probably why this is my #1, but what the heck? Its why I wanted the system in the first place. The graphics are not stellar, but better than any Zelda game yet. With Wii controlls, its now possible to swing your sword among a host of other cool, but inate functions of the game. The Temples are big and fun to discover. Great music, game control, puzzles and I really felt like I got immersed in the world of Hyrule like I never had before. I wish the first several games could be redone in this fashion. My only complaint is the enemies are too easy to defeat and many don't come back after you kill them. (Why reality on that???). One more complaint. I want more. How about a second quest?

New Year Thoughts

I've had a few things bouncing around in my brain that I'll put down for therapy today.

• New Year's is the time of setting goals and if you don't look at past performance it is hard to gauge realistic goals for the future. As I review the past I often find myself thinking "I wish I had done that better, known better, etc." Sometimes I hear the sentiment, "I have no regrets" and wonder how these people ever got to such a place and lived such a perfect life. Personally, I do have regrets, about many things and that's because I've made plenty of mistakes. Is that such a crime? It certainly fits into the negative attitude I often harbor. Despite all of that, I find some light at the end of the tunnel when I realize I don't regret anything I've learned from my mistakes. Yes, many lessons have been painful, but they have each given me a little more depth, understanding, patience and empathy. Of course it is better to not make mistakes at all, but to not learn from them would truly be a regretful thing. So my goal this year is to learn from the past, improve and have a life with no regrets.I'll spare the details in the interests of privacy and boredom.

• Shannahan gets Sacked - This was truly a shocker. Am I sad? Yes. The "Mastermind" was the best coach in franchise history and gave us the golden era of Broncos football. I can still see Terrell Davis gaining 10 yards per run in devastating fashion. But those days are over and Shannahan is an average GM at best. He refused to give up that power and lost control of his team. It is time for a change. Perhaps fans are upset because they are scared of a 3 win season. Rightfully so, but it was clear we were not going to win another championship with him as GM/head coach. If you are not playing to win, why play at all? It was a very gutty move by Bowlen. I respect it, but only time will tell if he was a genius or an idiot.

• Movie reccomendations - Ghost Town, 2 thumbs up in the sky. The Dutchess, 2 thumbs down in the manure. Its that simple on these two films.

• I stumbled across a video from Rick Astley recently. I've heard this song before and figured it was a black singer due to the deep quality of the voice. Needless to say, I was shocked to see this dude singing (youtube won't let me embed) but its the pop-up version so it will have some fun facts. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HrSN7176XI&feature=related. Classic 80s cringe material. This guy has a look that screams, "Punch me in the face and steal my lunch money." According to Rick's wikipedia site, I'm not the only one who thought he was a Milli Vanilli act. "During much of his career, due to his deep bass-baritone voice, many listeners assumed he was black. In one instance, the comedic entertainer Sinbad discussed him with a talk-show host, expressing his surprise that Astley was not "one of the brothers."

Alright, I've got 2009 off to a nice random start.