I'm Dreaming of a White Mother's Day

The undisclosed Rocky Mountain location of my residence has been getting a ton of rain for the past week. Last night, it turned into snow. I know why this happened. Someone with no social tact thought a blanket of white snow would be a nice gesture.

At 11:30 PM on Monther's Day Eve, I went out to shake the trees and spare the branches from breaking. This is what I saw:

Yep, nature reminds us that motherhood leads to things beginning to sag as new life emerges. While smacking the trees like a moron without a hat, I got 30 lbs of snow in my face. It was the first time in my life I've gotten a brain freeze from the outside. Let's just say it was quite painful... and a reminder of what happens to fathers when mothers dump their icy wrath on them. 

Earlier that evening I hung out with the Boss but she left to get her nails done by a neighbor who makes excellent Virgin Mint Mojitos. I began to panic that she wasn't coming back so I sent the following text message:

I've got this emotionally vulnerable/available thing down! I bet the Boss brags on it all the time. 

Next, in an effort to reduce my carbon footprint and do Mother Earth a solid, I texted the Boss my Mother's Day card as follows:

Yes, I really know how to lather it on. We're talking hot. barbershop. menthol. LATHER. Here's what I mean. Check out this amazing breakfast I prepared and served for the obligatory meal in bed. 

$20 says none of you have ever had such a novel breakfast in bed. But this isn't all. While walking in with the above plate of culinary genius, I had the following song playing:

Coco absolutely loved it! Can't say the Boss did, but I think its a precious song that will have to come back each year. Maybe I can get Salt Lake to add it to the Children's Songbook for extra legitimacy. Its been a wonderful day and I'm so blessed to have my own exemplary mom and a beautiful partner whom my kids call Mother. 

Minimalist Mormon Housewives - STRIKE BACK

It must be something about the lusty month of May and Spring Cleaning that gets the minimalist drive going in The Boss. Two years ago, I posted about the burgeoning phenomena in my life known as Minimalist Mormon Housewives. http://fletchword.blogspot.com/search?q=minimalist. Now this trend is back... WITH A VENGANCE.

Somewhere in the Ether that is THE WOMEN'S CIRCLE it was determined that closets bursting to the seams are of the devil. Why can't we just have a renaissance view that a little extra (clothes or junk in the truck) is a sign of prosperity and should be enjoyed? Google "minimize clothing" and you'll see a tsunami of minimalism coming for your closet.

Thanks to this trend, I have now divested 50% of all my clothes. Not kidding. I'll admit I do feel better. I feel one step closer to that ultimate living space I've fantasized about ala Flynn's pad in Tron Legacy.

This all sounds good, but I'm worried about the future. We somehow accumulated all those clothes and shopping is like a competitive sport for my better half. Have we just removed all of the older stuff so we can buy newer stuff? Time will tell, but I'm hopeful. Just remember:

SPENDING MONEY IS NOT SAVING MONEY.