A.M. Book Club: What Alice Forgot... IN THE MEAT GRINDER

In some ways, this was a pretty painful book to read. The truth cuts to the center sometimes and this book made me agonize about what an idiot I've been, but also appreciate how far I've come in life.

A good neighbor down the street gave me a recommendation to read this book. She is a teacher and an avid reader so I figured I'd give it a shot; even if it seemed like a wet blanket book club offering. To understand what I mean: http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/wet+blanket

To get my ultra-testosterone male ego motivated, I looked at this book from the perspective of time travel via amnesia. What if you woke up and didn't remember the last 10 years of your life? This book follows 39 year old Alice after falling off her spin bike at the gym in 2008 and waking up thinking she is 29, in 1998. Not being able to remember your children is a pretty unsettling thing.

How would I react if the 2005 version of myself woke up in my 2015 reality?  To anyone who hasn't been married more than 5 years, this may not seem like a big deal. Isn't a decade of marriage and raising kids dull? The obvious and dramatic changes of childhood, puberty, high school, college, finding a career and a spouse are huge. But what about the more subtle changes we make after the proverbial die has been cast?

I never realized when I was younger that our late 20s to early 40s are a huge change. We go from "its all about me" to "its all about we" if we have married and had kids. People lose themselves and get re-defined by parenting roles, careers, service, sacrifice and ambition both for secular and domestic glory... What I affectionately call "The Meat Grinder" of young married life. Make as much money, kids, and STUFF, as humanly possible in 10 years.

In Alice's case, she becomes the hard core, PTA, gym-rat, sacrificing, high-powered Domestic Engineer that could get on the cover of O-Magazine or Real Simple (if you don't get this pun, I shun you). Her husband worked too much, made a bunch of money and things have fallen apart. Can 29 year old Alice see through the haze of middle age to connect herself back with what matters most? With muscle memory and family/friends to gently guide her, Alice takes us on a journey of self-examination in THE MEAT GRINDER.

This book has a few good twists and the ending is actually quite refreshing and affirmed my desire to never ever get divorced.

My biggest takeaway if I forgot the last 10 years? Much more practical. New kids? Whatever, call me when they're 2. The wife always looks good and accepted my abnormal behavior a long time ago. Roll into the EQ any given Sunday anywhere and good times will be had, even if it is in a ward and house I HAD NO INTENTION OF SETTLING IN. But where I'd really be up the creek is at work. I've gone from being the low-man on the totem pole to the managing director. 10 years ago I wasn't doing any business development or quality assurance work. Not to mention the experience gained in the crucible of affliction. Half of the deals I work on today weren't even on the menu then.

Yes, the 2005 F-word would be in major trouble at the office. But the Dilbert Principle says people rise to the level of their incompetence, so I guess I'd be fine eventually. Plus I'd have missed diapers for two kids, repeated punches in the nuts from Las Vegas, the Great Recession and the stress of opening an office. Yes, I would marinate in the basement and revel in the fruits of my future self. The meat grinder actually turned out some pretty good bratwurst.