HEATED Thoughts

I feel the need to put many sweaty thoughts in the blog today. Yes , it is hot here in Las Vegas, but it is a DRY HEAT. I kid you not, I'd take this any day over 95 and 35% to 50% humidity. I can get cool in the shade, I don't sweat for at least five minutes in the car, and cold water makes a difference.

We are half-way through the year and six months removed from Christmas - "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Therefore, the current time is antithesis to Christmas or "The Most Terrible Time of the Year." You may be thinking I don't like the 4th of July, Pioneer Day, the Pool, BBQ and Vacation. Not true, I love those things. They make this time of the year bearable. But nothing can seem to overcome the summer drought of sports action that summer months produce. Baseball? - Tons of inconsequential games within a never-ending season makes watching HGTV more entertaining. Tennis? - Should be interesting, but I always get bored with it. Bring Back McEnroe!! Golf? - How does one even get into watching that? I know many guys love it, but it seems like a sport that should only have highlights during sports center. Competitive Eating? - Kobayashi falling was interesting to see even though he had lock-jaw or some sort of ailment, but still, this sport is disturbing to watch and makes you want to hurl. Arena Football? - Nice try, but still unsatisfying. Its interesting to see a different venue, skinnier goal posts, high scoring games and laugh at cheesy team names, but I can't sink my teeth into it. I can't get over that fact that I'm not watching the ELITE. The best of the best. As the Great Ice Man once said - "the plaque for the alternates is in the AFL" (OK I changed it a bit). NASCAR? - I'm not from the south or a Gasoline family. Poker? - I don't gamble and never intend to; so learning the game and watching a bunch of dudes in sunglasses sit around a table is no good to me.

So what is there to slake my thirst for Sports in the Summer? NOTHING!!! I get Dan Patrick and the Herd guy talking about who will be the next host of the Price is Right? NBA trade rumors? NFL stories about who won't show up for camp or got thrown in jail? KILL ME KILL ME!! COME ON! DO IT NOW!!! (Thanks Arnold). Here are my solutions to the problem. If nothing is to be changed, I suggest that ESPN 2 start carrying nothing but re-runs of American Gladiators and Classic 80s NBA, NFL and MLB. PERIOD. However, if I had the power, I'd make the NBA start in February - When people would give a rip and not miss any football and thus prolong the season through the Summer and have the finals sometime in August before Baseball playoffs get too close. If only it could happen, and I could quench my thirst, but alas, I am tortured year in a year out with no end in sight and hence, this is The Most Terrible Time of the Year.