MY RED BADGES OF COURAGE

WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS SEMI-GRAPHIC MALE NUDITY. LEAVE NOW IF YOU WANT... DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU. 

Paint-balling. An extreme sport that causes a lot of bruises. But its great fun and I finally went this weekend with Paul, Matt and Tom thanks to a generous contribution from the local women's circle.

For the uninitiated like I was, what is this all about? 10-20 minute games where you try to raise a flag or pretend its the Alamo without getting shot... but if you do, you can come back into the game after touching base and get shot some more. Getting shot isn't overly painful, but it hurts enough that you don't want to get hammered by 20 consecutive hits either; so you truly want to take cover and treat it like a "real" gun fight.

Too bad us 4 aging married guys had to get stuck on a team with 20+ people, most of them in high school and no balls to charge up to the front. At the start, we were stoked because we had two guys that looked like they just walked out of a Soldier of Fortune catalog, but they were complete wimps and never got into the fray. Apparently tons of $$$ and gear does not make you a better combatant. We had one tool for a teammate that managed to shoot Matt and Tom. Outside of that, there were two girls that actually had some guts. The rest just hung around the base. I don't get it. You paid money to shoot people and get shot. I guess I now know why armies have leaders that give orders and flog soldiers that don't follow them... cuz it would suck to have your life in their hands. The other team had some sweet guns and knew exactly what they were doing. We got our A$&!'s handed to us. But enough chit chat. You came to see how nasty I got. So here is the aftermath.

Got hit in the arms several times. Leaves a nice gelatinous glob of gook on you. NOT PAINT. What's worse is when you get shot in the mouth. The mask stops the ball from splitting your lip, but you do get stung and the stuff tastes awful. Spent a few minutes spitting it out while returning fire. 

Leave it to me to get shot 2x in the left boob and then have to walk about like I've been lactating. 

There were more welts, but I don't' think you want to see where they landed... 

The Gator was a bit upset about his dad getting shot. "Why'd you do that???"

I should add that Paul got a NASTY welt on his neck. After seeing what happened to him and me, I suggest every dude wear a cup when paint balling. Until next time.

Wheel of Time

Some wind blew and trees rustled and it was not the beginning, but it was a beginning. My nearly six month reading or listening affair with this EPIC fantasy series has come to an end. To give you a sense of how much listening I did in less than six months, check this out:

Nearly 20 total days listening to this series. So here are some highlights:

• Reincarnation / Balance: This book is all about creation as a Wheel that spins and people are reborn into the cycle over countless lives throughout the ages. The pattern the wheel weaves is all about balance and this is most apparent in how the One Power (magic) is used in these books. Women and men balance each other and when they work together achieve the greatest good. Overall, a big nod from Mr. Jordan to Hindu and Buddhist traditions. Of course many other aspects of the books have a Christian point of view (Creator vs. Dark One) but was interesting to see these belief systems reorganized into this world.

• Bechdel Test: Do female characters in the book do anything besides talk/worry about men? To
  understand this, check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test. Its almost as if this series was created to win the ultimate Bechdel Test award. The WOT universe is largely dominated by powerful female characters and they often have nothing to say about men. This is due to the male channelers of the One Power being corrupted for the last 3,000 years and women have become symbols of power, wisdom and authority. Allegory to how we have often come up with reasons to oppress women in the last 6,000 years? Maybe. Regardless, its interesting to read a series where in a way, things are kinda backwards on gender politics.
• Books 6-10: I'm not the first one to say this, but dang are these difficult to listen to. People say they love how epic and detailed the series is. That's true, but its amazing how little plot moves in 4,100 + pages. I was ok with it due to burning time in the car. If I was up burning the midnight oil reading, I would have likely walked away and I've read about many people who did. Just feels like Jordan was needlessly milking the story with never ending detail about fairly mundane moments. If you are reading and getting tired, just read some summaries and move up to book 11. No shame in my book if you skip them. 
• Twilight (Movie) Ending: Many have complained about a lack of suspense due to no main/major characters dying. Well without giving spoilers, there is an all-out DEATH FEST ala what should have been the real Twilight ending portrayed in the movie. I wish they would have killed a few off earlier, but whatever. 
  
• Sanderson: Took over the last 3 books after Jordan's death in 2007. I was worried it would ruin the series. If anything, he made it better for me. The plot got moving again, no more spankings and I was engaged again. Well done Brandon. 
• Ending: Sanderson said that Jordan wrote the ending. So from that perspective, I see why it abruptly ends. Everyone basically knows what is going to happen, but I wanted some details on what would come of it all... kind of like the scouring of the Shire in the LOTR books (also a flaming shame that didn't make it into the movies). There is so much along the way that doesn't have to be explained, but considering this series reputation for ENDLESS detail on everything, this abrupt ending was very unsatisfying. But I"m willing to concede that they didn't want to overstep the author's ending so I'll let it pass and be grateful it was finished at all. As one commentator said, Elayne taking a bath (very PG) got more time that the aftermath. 
• If you are looking for a way to MAXIMIZE your audible account, good. Just hang in there. 

So where does this leave me? I loved the world created by Jordan, but it really could have been done in half the books and made itself much more adaptable to film and then it could be come a household name. But now that its an effectively unadapatble saga with no author left to negotiate with, it will slowly fade into history without movies or a TV series. It not the end, but will be an ending.