The Break-up

I this weekend I just witnessed the longest road ever taken by a man to do the dishes. Normally, these sort of movies have a plot where you can at least sympathize with the man (Harry Met Sally, War of the Roses, etc.) but in this one guy was just a plain idiot. The main characters of this movie are D.I.N.K.s. Dual Income No Kids. Aniston spends all evening cleaning the condo and fixing dinner for their families who come to supper. After dinner, Vince, a 30 something guy grabs a seat on the couch and starts playing grand theft auto. Aniston asks him to help with the dishes, he says no, because he worked all day and needs to de-stress. She say she's worked all day and then cleaned and cooked. At this point the "break-up" begins with a fight about her being too anal and clean and him being too much of a slob and not caring.

At first I assumed this must have been written by women portraying a heroine stuck with a self-absorbed oaf. A modern indictment of the state of men and their immaturity. But then I looked it up and the story is written by Vaughn and some other guys? What!? Can't you at least write yourself a good argument? I WANT A MOVIE WITH SOME DAD-GUM MAN POWER AND THESE YAHOOS CAN'T DELIVER! This guy was clearly the guilty party from the beginning. It drove me nuts the whole movie. DO THE DISHES YOU MORON!!! TAKE 10 MINUTES AND IT WILL BE OVER!! As they say, the lazy man works the hardest. A wise prophet says in a break-up it is usually the man's fault. Painful experience says DO THE DISHES. IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU WILL DO ALL DAY. (Don't ask Julie about how well I walk my talk.)

Towards the end, Vince does some thinking and changing. He cleans up and realizes what this woman means to him. He reaches the point where he is willing to sacrifice (i.e. go to the ballet), because he realizes that its the best way to show your love. But too much too late. Perhaps the writers were tying to show men that you are idiots and need to change, regardless of the outcome.

I didn't care about the ending. I guess some filmmakers feel better about themselves for creating a realistic movie without a happy ending. Often I like that, because life does have hard lessons. But in a case where one small act could have fixed 90 Mins of yelling, I wanted to see something good happen. GENERATE SOME POSITIVE KARMA YOU NEGATIVE CRAZY BITTER PEOPLE!!! Alright. I'll go do the dishes now.

Harry Potter & a/(a+b)

!WARNING! This article is full of spoiler info if you are not caught up on the books or are just watching the movies. Read at your own peril. Mild as it may be.

What are the odds on who will die in book 7? After some searching on the "net" I found little information. No one in my home town has any odds on it, so as a "Las Veegan" I'm making my own. (Send check or money orders to me to place bets - j/k). I'll go through the major characters and then discuss what I think will happen in book 7.

Before that gets rolling, I had to check up on what odds actually meant. (Despite my Stat 221 class). If I say the odds are 4 to 1 (4:1) the odds of the event happening are 4 chances for the event to happen compared to 1 chance that it won't. In this case 4:1 is 80% in favor of the event happening (4/(4+1)). Good Grief. On to the predictions that I made with my crystal ball and tea leaves (Don't call my Bishop). Most are just my hunches; I don't do hours of research in the books for this so don't send me a howler. Part of the reason I'm doing this is to go on the record with my predictions and for posterity's sake.

Hairless Potter: 1:10 - There is a popular theory that J.K. will kill Harry off so no one can use him in the future, but I don't buy it. I know the prophecy says "one can't live without the other" but I just don't see the books ending on such a dark note. Rowling said Harry may die and mentioned that a character got a "reprieve", but I doubt its Harry. I'm banking on "kids books" Happy ending.


Ron & Hermione: 1:10 - Once again, I think there is a very low chance of the "Big 3" being killed off. These books are "triumph over evil" tales, not Greek tragedy or some other high-brow stuff where you feel cool for reading something that was "real". This franchise will sacrifice some secondary characters, but not THE main characters. Besides, these guys are set to propagate the future Order of the Phoenix crew (which will be necessary - read on) and no Dark Lord or pesky blond haired bully is going to get in their way.

Ginny Weasley: 50:1 - You heard it here. Ginny is TOAST. Burnt Toast. I see her as the classic girlfriend gets murdered and drives the hero to victory. Harry just gets to survive this book. If you have a vision of Ginny and Harry flying into the sun-set on a broom forget it. Ginny has not been a major character in the majority of the books and is easily expendable. She was already used by Voldermort and will get hosed again. SHE IS NOT THE REPRIEVE.

Voldermort: 375:1 - This is a no-brainer. I won't even explain. Death & Taxes. By the way - these are the odds R2-D2 gave Luke and Han to survive on Hoth when shut out of the base at night.

Snape: 4:1 - If he is good, then he's a worthy sacrifice to get rid of V-Mort. If he is bad then he deserves to die and most likely will. I leave in the 20% chance he could survive, just to cover my big ol white butt.


Order of the Phoenix Characters: 1:1 - Hagrid, Lupin, Tonks, Fred, George, Bill, Fleur, Mr. & Mrs. Weasley and any other contenders. I lump them all together because I'm not sure about any of them. 50% on any of them. If its the twins, I say they both die. YOU JUST DON'T SEPARATE TWINS OKAY? As for RAB - I think he is dead. If I had to pick one to get waxed, I'd say Lupin in a steel cage werewolf death-match with Greyback.

Death Eaters: 3:1 I think the casualties for these guys are likely to be heavier. In this sort of story, more bad guys die than good ones if there are to be casualties on both sides. Wormtail, LeStrange, Lucius, Mrs. Malfoy, Draco, Crabe, Goyle, etc. All on the chopping block. Most likely to die: Wormtail. Harry saved his life and he will re-pay Harry with his life (as is the Wizard code or whatever). Least likely to die: Draco. Just feels wrong. Aint gonna happen. Mark my words fool!

Dursleys: 1:1,000 - What would be the point? Dud-ums and his family are going to continue their life in suburbia - a fate worse than hell.

The reprieve: I think this went to Ron. He and Ginny were going to both die, but that was a bit much. Harry would have hooked-up with H-Money in their grief and loneliness, but that would have been too much drama. After all, this is witchcraft, not a day time soap opera.


Predictions (Quick & Dirty): Dumbledore is going to give Obi-wan type assistance to Harry through fawkes. RAB is dead and was Regulus Black. Harry is not a Horcrux - You don't try to originally kill something you are putting your soul into. Harry will get hosed throughout the whole book, will not gain much in the ways of skills, abilities or powers, but will win on sheer luck and LOVE. Wormtail will kill Voldermort to settle his mystical bond with Harry for saving his life. (If you read LOTR this is going to be a disappointing rip-off of 'WORM-TONGUE' and Saruman -- GOSH! They can't even change the names up! Good thing Voldermort and Saruman don't sound similar.) Bellatrix will be killed by Neville. Lupin and Tonks will get together (although it will be temporary). Snape is good and will die tying to kill V-Mort. (I know, call me if you want that explanation).

The Fremont Street Experience

Recently I had the opportunity to visit the "Fremont Street Experience" in Downtown Las Vegas. Home to the "mall" with an LCD screen paneled dome. Sounds cool right? Wrong. I thought it would be interesting to see another part of my town, but I was sorely mistaken.

To those who may not be familiar with Las Vegas, Downtown is the arm-pit of the central business district. The Strip where the Bellagio, Wynn and Ceasars make their home is several miles south of downtown and is the stuff you see on TV and movies all the time. However, when you see a shot of some seedy place on CSI, its probably downtown.

Prior to my pilgrimage to Fremont Street, I often heard it called a mall. To me that usually means shopping. Exchanging money for goods and services. Unfortunately, no real "goods" are available on Fremont Street and if I purchased services down there, I'd be headed for divorce court. The street has been cleared off for pedestrian only use and it is lined with old Casinos and cheesey souvenir shops. Elvis would feel deep shame for having his mug all over this place. If you are brave, I suppose the $6.99 prime rib dinner could entice you to the "mall", but I'd pass.

Essesntially, I would say this is Satan's ultimate mall. Its sells nothing of remote value, the food will kill you, it has several strip clubs with huge LCD screens outside filled with naked women, you go there with false hopes to loose your money, you have nothing but shame and heartburn to show for your time and effort and even the sky is obstructed by televisions to dull your senses and cut you off from the presence of God. I just shoved the red pill down your throat.

Needless to say, I won't be returning anytime soon.