Predicting Whoremongering

Since I'm obsessed with divining the future by my golden key medallion, I must put out my predictions on the ghastly whoring taking place with collegiate conferences. Here is a look at the future.

Does any one else find it pathetic that the only way CU can get national attention for athletics is to jump conferences? I'm not sure their football program will ever get back to its former glory. All of the meat eaters have been driven out of town and I seriously doubt a football program can survive under the iron fist of the "People's Republic of Boulder" eventually demanding women play quarterback and six weeks paid vacation for Ralphie. This program is dead forever, soon to become the doormat of the PAC-1,000

The PAC ??? will become an Ultra MEGA CONFERENCE with Texas, A&M, OU, OSU and little Baylor and of course, the original whore school - CU. That puts it up to 16.

The Mountain West will make a desperate move to pick up the dregs of the Big 12 to make their own BCS conference. But I doubt it will happen. KU, KSU and Missouri will go to the Big 10 (actually 11) but now 12 with Nebraska making it the Big 15 - but wait! Good ol Notre Dame will come over to form another ULTRA MEGA 16 SCHOOL CONFERENCE.... GLORIOUS!!

So what will happen to the little MWC? Nothing. At best, they may pick up Texas Tech and BSU. Since this is all about adding media markets and $$$$$$$$$ Lubbock and Boise don't add much luster to an already snubbed conference. Quite frankly, most of the nation is not worried about how to capture the Utah TV market. Yes, BYU travels well, but its just too annoying or "evil" to include a bunch of religious wackos with real academic institutions (remember its all about 'academic' uh political um - bigoted standards). The MWC, but most notably both BYU and UofU will be left in tears when this is all over. It will get even more difficult to recruit after the mega conferences are formed since players will want to know a perfect season will actually mean something at the end of the year. Sad, but true. I'm not even looking through a glass darkly. Its clear as crystal and self-evident like the Declaration of Independence. Do ribs taste good? Yes, friends, this prediction is going to happen. I can taste it.

Now that the pitiful facade of 'academic standards' has been blown away from conference membership can all of the elitist academics out there get off of trying to kill football and basketball? You are like Pimps. Embrace the whores who bring you money so you can research ending all of the problems caused by Republicans and corporations. The masks are off. Our universal greed is on display. Can you hear that one piercing piano note being played over and over? We're all obsessed with TV markets and money. All I'm asking is a little gratitude for the revenue producing power of sports.

Finally, no legitimate playoff will result from these newly formed mega conferences. Money will always get in the way, especially now. Not even Barry can fix this. My only regret is the pure children... collegiate athletes will be denied competition's pure flame into perpetuity.