Free Day

Thanks to the Make-A-Wish foundation, my kids elementary school won free tickets to Elitch Gardens yesterday. We were the highest fundraising elementary school in the state during the year. The local news was there to report, but they spent most of their time talking about how those rich, spoiled brats at Cherry Creek HS raised over $19,000 for 3 kids. As if kids who get $20 per day for lunch and have a trust fund would have a hard time putting up that money. I bet half of it was "daddy's" company making charitable contributions to avoid taxes. But this is a day where money couldn't spoil my mood, it was all free and at least the children won in the end. Here are some random items from the day.

• First ride on the swings, 5 seven year old boys start singing "ga ga oh la la!!" at the top of their lungs. The kids have truly fallen for Ga Ga. At least they weren't dressed in Kermit the frog suites.
• Waited 30 mins to shoot Boocifer, but just as we're about to get on the ride, we get word some kids freaked out and jumped off the ride. As a result, they have to shut everything down for a while. Good thing it was free or I would have been ticked.
• All water rides in the amusement side of the park were shut down. I even wore my suit in anticipation. Once again, good thing it was free.
• I'm getting old. That happy tingling sensation in my stomach on the Sea Dragon was actually uncomfortable this time.
• First time I've ever been to an amusement park and been on a roller coaster. I now turn in my adrenaline badge to the Man Council and am too ashamed to ever drink Mountain Dew again for fear of being a poseur.
• After some PBH in the car, we headed to the water park, where I realized all of those reality tattoo shows are really having an impact on young women.
• After waiting 20 mins to do the half-pipe I was thwarted by kid #2 at the last moment and had to make the walk of shame down the tower. Once again, I took a deep breath and repeated to myself... its all free... chillax.
• Next I had to move the kids away from a couple in the wave pool giving each other a tongue bath. The further you go into the deep end, the more you encounter the dregs of society. (What does that say about me?) My biggest fear was not the kids drowning, but taking a gulp of water. - Yes. I'm a total snob.

Despite these moments, I had a good time knowing it cost me nothing. Not worrying about money really allowed me to enjoy the kids. So what's the point of all this? I've realized I'm never going to blow money on family activities again. I'll achieve maximum happiness if all our outings are free. Thank you Occam's Razor! Now that I've realized this truth, I feel free and can enjoy my life to the fullest. I'll see you at the local park sometime after dumpster diving for bagels.