Nut Kick Monday | 2014 Motif

Today I got kicked in the nuts. Again. I wish I could say it was a literal kick in the nuts. Pain like that is fleeting and I've retired from procreation. No, the shot I took today was a recurring theme of 2014. A symphony of foot swinging:

• Broncos go to the Superbowl and snap the ball... I'm so psychologically damaged by reopening my childhood trauma that I get Sports E.D. for nearly eight months.  
• Later this year, my eldest needed screws in her knees. Insurance says $5K please. 
• Next Sally blows a tire. The rest "magically" must be replaced.
• Sally then decides to quit steering and have her breaks die.
• Once Sally is feeling better, the next day Trophy Son fractures his femur.
• Giddy people at hospital say they want a down payment... I bend over and stroke a check for $5K. 
• And then the golf ball hail descends on the roof annihilating it. 
• Meanwhile the soul sucking leeches at State Farm in their 3AM Khakis just smile; and drink my fresh warm blood out of a Christmas mug spiced with nutmeg.

Some of you are familiar with Gator's precious fractured femur x-ray with the Lego men in his pocket:

Very sad and painful, but an adorable silver lining.

Here is my x-ray for the year:

Dads don't get a silver lining in the jock.