Rocky IV = Inception

During the last 4th of July gala at my house, we were feeling patriotic and decided to watch Rocky IV to celebrate one man ending the cold war and help secure American freedoms.

Towards the end of the film, I started to wonder how this movie would have been accepted by a member of the Politburo and then it hit me.

ROCKY IV WAS A SECRET GOVERNMENT LED FILM USED TO PERFROM INCEPTION ON MIKHAIL GORBACHEV. 

Imagine watching a movie and seeing yourself stand up and applauding the mantra, "If I can change, you can change... EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!!" 

Christoper Nolan was obviously inducted into the inner circle of the Illuminati and the New Word Order years ago, otherwise he would not have been entrusted with such large budget films to shape the views of millions with his work. His film on the concept of inception was very interesting, but the idea of shared dreaming always seemed a bit ludicrous to me. In fact, the whole point of the movie Inception was make us believe that the real thing was not possible or out of the realm of reality.

Think about it. What experience is closer to shared dreaming than watching a movie with several close friends? How many people have pointed to a movie as changing their world view or outlook on different people, places or ideologies? Everytime you watch a movie, you make yourself vulnerable to inception at the hands of the Illuminati.

In this case, the NWO wanted the fall of the CCCP and so they used one of their most reliable tactics. Inception through film... AND IT WORKED. Once again, we may hate the Illuminati and the NWO, but they sometimes produce results that the rest of us enjoy... for the moment.

Brother Husbands - Pioneering the Future

Mormon Feminist Housewives Rejoice!

Today while cleaning the house with my B.I.L., I realized we were accomplishing much in a short period of time. Soon my mind began to dwell upon the fantasy of cloning myself to achieve my Highest and Best Use in life. Since that is highly unethical, I decided the next best thing would be to go out to the male market and find myself... a Brother Husband.

Let me just say it now: Its not about the sex. In the modern economy where the ideal is a woman staying at home with the children and two or six incomes are required, this makes total sense. Full pay for the same work, no glass ceiling and no maternity leave to disrupt the family revenue stream.

Since the number of children would not explode like polygamy, children would benefit from a mother's full nurturing attention. The best schools and tutors could be attended, all sporting interests embraced with no lack of fatherly coaching or support on the sidelines. Christmas and birthday parties? Off the chain...

And let's not forget the benefits to men.

• Six income against 1 mortgage? You could qualify to live in a SICK home with an infinity pool, home theater, steam room, full gym, basketball court and massive spa. 
• Imagine only having to cover Valentines day once every six years! 
• Buying the wife diamonds only represents one month's salary.
• Six Dudes for a child to fear... child defiance disappears. 
• Facial hair with no guilt. Even handle bar mustaches.  
• Mowing the lawn once every other month.
• Putting only 1 to 2 children to bed at night. 
• Dishes once per week (kids have to do at least one night)
• Camping every weekend and its not just survival, its MEN vs. WILD. 
• Genuine need for a male nursing lounge in every chapel. 
• Full basketball team with one man to stay behind in rotation to keep the wife happy!

I could go on, but I welcome your ideas.

Brother Husbands, I know what you are thinking. But you are wrong. If you divert all of that pent-up energy to other ideals, imagine the good that could be accomplished! The following blog details ideas from Napoleon Hill's classic THINK AND GROW RICH.

http://boldanddetermined.com/2011/10/24/how-to-harness-your-sexual-energy/

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1612930298/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=boldanddete-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399373&creativeASIN=1612930298

Did I mention Twinkies came back today?

Just set aside your ego and jealousy, read the blog and you will be convinced polyandry this is the way to go.
Its time for the pendulum to swing the other direction and for families to embrace their full potential. Soon marriages of any kind will be permitted in society. Its time to Pioneer a new family for the new economy in the 21st Century. Not every man has what it takes to be a Brother, but for those willing, the maximum productivity and satisfaction in life awaits.

How to Create a Horcrux - Wikihow

Years ago I found this article on Wikihow that has since been deleted so I now post it here since this blog is my own horcrux. http://fletchword.blogspot.com/2010/01/truth-about-this-blog.html It just a shame they take themselves so seriously that they deleted it. 

HOW TO CREATE A HORCRUX

1. Become an extremely powerful witch or wizard. This will take years of study and sacrifice which lie beyond the scope of a WikiHow article. As a general guide you should not attempt to create a horcrux until you can cast non-verbal killing curses.

2. Locate an object of extreme significance to you. An emotional attachment to the object will aid the process and make it easier on your body and soul.

3. Bathe in the Water of Sorrows and eat 1 cup of paste made from the Herb of Undeath no sooner than 12 hours before committing the principal act of the ritual.

4. Cast the preliminary incantation in the presence of your object. Bring your wand from hanging medial at your side to in front of your heart at approximately 45 degrees from your waist. At this point you should flick the wand in a circular fashion 146 degrees and then whip it outwards to the full extension of your limb. During this last movement issue the following command: "Voces fallacis amicae"

5. Perform an act of unspeakable evil while carrying the object you wish to turn into a horcrux. Murder is dirty but very effective in this regard.

6. Within 15 minutes of performing the act, clutch the object you wish to turn into a horcrux with both hands and yell the following incantation: "Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem!"

7. You will lose consciousness. This is a normal part of the process. When you have awoken the object in your hands will be a horcrux. You will feel very different (some have described the feeling as if you are "half empty") and will have an almost motherly affection to the object.

8. Cast protective spells on and around the horcrux, and do not tell anyone of its existence. You must eliminate anyone that finds out.

Tips 

• Although you should choose objects which are significant to you, be careful not to choose objects that can be linked to you with relative ease. This will generally send hordes of jealous followers or irritating enemies out to destroy your horcrux, leaving you half a soul closer to death. 
• Don't ask your potions master about the creation of horcruxes, as it may undo all of your plans at a later date when he feels sympathy for a boy whose parents you killed a decade earlier. It is easier to figure out the general process through this wikiHow article, through books in your school library (please remember to wear an Invisibility Cloak while browsing to avoid attracting attention), or ask general advice from the Dark Lord himself (avoid seeming too curious, or he may see you as a threat and set out to destroy your horcruxes). 
• Don't make your horcrux your pet snake. Remember, driving somone's parents to insanity MAY make them want to destroy you. 

Warnings 

• Do not attempt to split your soul into seven pieces. It sounds very fashionable but will turn you into a psychopathic maniac, assuming you are not one already. (Note: If you are a psychopathic maniac, it may be simpler to avoid the process all together, as it will simply cause you to appear more unhinged and cause man to avoid you).
• When a teenage wizard comes to challenge you without a weapon in the midst of an epic battle, DO NOT attempt to kill him with the same curse which has already backfired on three previous occasions. He probably knows something that you don't.
• Don't even bother trying to find the Deathly Hallows. Honestly, just don't.
• While a teenage wizard is attempting to make an epic fight-to-the-death speech, realize that you do not need to listen to him. It would be much simpler to just perform the Avada Kedavra (Killing) Curse on the spot (or at least use the Cruciatus Curse.)But also remember warning #2 just in case
• Do not leave behind any memories people may have that your old professor could use to figure out your plan and annihilate your horcruxes

JJ Abrams is SAURON

This morning I was in the shower day dreaming or more accurately fantasizing... about the next Star Wars movies. And then like all good showers or baths, I had an epiphany! How does one man become the central force behind the two greatest sci-fi franchises of all time?

Black Magic & The Illuminati

Most of you recall the story of Sauron in the Lord of the Rings. He desired to rule the world (or at least the middle part of it) and forged several mystical rings that would be given as gifts to power hungry men, little people and supermodels. Secretly, he made a master ring to control all of them and revealed his evil to the world as the most powerful being alive... until someone cut his finger off and he exploded.

JRR Tolkien was not writing about some fake history in LOTR. He was attempting to uncover the methods by which the Illuminati enslave the world. Tolkien was lucky and got away with it; since up until recently, Fantasy novels where largely mocked and shunned by society. Stanley Kubrick blew the lid off the Illuminati in Eyes Wide Shut and was shortly killed thereafter. He had reached staggering heights in the film arts, had been allowed into the inner circle and tried to expose them through his work and paid the price.

Abrams is the puppet master. Using black magic (or blackmail) from the bizarre rituals depicted in Eyes Wide Shut, JJ used  the power of his ring to enslave several influential producers in Hollywood. He then took control of Star Trek and made it AWESOME furthering his hypnotic spell over not just his Nazgul producers, but the whole of Geekdom. There was one lone hold-out who seemed to be immune to any kind of criticism, manipulation or advice... George Lucas. Abrams used his Nazgul to remove the power structure at Disney by forcing the production of John Carter (a staggering defeat) so he could place Bob Iger (AKA the Witch King) at the head of Disney, the most powerful and magical place on earth (also controlled by the Illuminati). The stage was set to pressure Lucas into giving up the franchise and inexplicably relinquishing his power. Now that Abrams has control of Star Wars his grip on sending messages to BILLIONS will be unmatched. One Ring to to rule them all... AND IN THE DARKNESS OF THEATERS ACROSS THE WORLD BIND THEM!!!

This is usually where I go off on a rant and beg you three readers to wake up and fight this sadistic blood cult that is preparing for the New World Order after the oceans are flooded from their global warming scheme. But today, I've taken the bait and can't wait for the next move by our friends at the Illuminati. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

Minimalist Mormon Housewives

A few days ago the Boss commented to me how much she enjoyed not having a ton of stuff on our walls. We've always been a house of mirrors and not much art work or pictures of our family. I used to chide her for our lack of displaying what is beautiful or the people we love in our lives. But recently, I've come to the opinion there is a trend in our culture regarding our beloved Domestic Engineers and its impact on our lives. The Collins Dictionary has a definition of this new lifestyle that goes beyond art/nick-nacks to what I'm talking about:

Minimalism: 3) design or style in which the simplest and fewest elements are used to create the maximum effect.  

Perhaps due to the depression and the nature of our economy changing to a service base, women are getting away from collecting or hoarding household goods and decorations. I grew up in a era where the more nick-nacks you had from Homemaking demonstrated your prowess as an LDS mother. Pictures and paintings of Gospel significance were everywhere. In my house, there was individual portraits of the kids in our main bathroom. (Just in case you forgot about who was making all that noise outside). In addition, your family needed to be involved in a TON of activities. I recall the Sunday night scheduling meeting where 50 things for that week were discussed and I watched my mother's blood pressure go through the roof. Back then, it was always more, more, and more. I know that sounds like today, but now we are heading in a different direction where "less" is supposed to be "more." Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

• This is the information age where we are overloaded with too much stuff. The goal of most thoughtful people is how to cut through the haze of information/opportunities to what matters most. A talk by Elder Oaks is often simply referenced almost like WWJD in our culture --- Is it Good, Better or Best?
• Cut out the fat. I suppose this has been going on for ages, but these days, controlling your eating/weight/food has nearly endless ideas on Pinterest and MMB's (Mormon Mommy Blogs) or just food blogs. Some are all about cutting everything out of your eating life to look minimalist or maximizing your cuisine to eat the tastiest things ever made, just not all the time (sorry to The Girl who "reportedly" Ate Everything and Pioneer Woman). 
• Last Christmas I ordered a subscription for the Boss to the magazine Real Simple. Its a monthly magazine of about 300 pages detailing how to simplify your life. The physically oxymoronic nature of this magazine still cracks me up but I know many women love to dive into its pages seeking ways to simplify their lives and breathe easier.  
• De-clutter. Along the lines of Real Simple, this is a mantra I often hear repeated by DE's at various church and social functions. "Guess how much stuff I got rid of last weekend!" (audible gasps and approvals). Can you imagine hearing that as a kid? Its all too easy these days to walk out of Target with hoards of goods and later wonder where did all this stuff come from? This is a consumption culture. Here are a few lines of sage wisdom from Tyler Durden in favor of minimalism: 

• "Do you know what a duvet is? It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then? Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession."
• "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."
• "The things you own end up owning you."

• Christmas. In yesteryear, conversations about how to cut-back on Christmas presents would have been unconscionable  Now they are common. We know we are drowning in the piles of stuff we consume, but can't seem to break the cycle and the happiest day of the year is a painful time to take our medicine, but we've got to start showing kids that presents don't equal love and acceptance.
• Never enough time. I wont' say more so I don't run out of it.
• My mom used to come home with stuff from Homemaking, but I rarely see the Boss bring anything home from Relief Society activities. (maybe its just her?)    
• Going digital. Thanks to smartphones, computers, internet, etc. we can now keep our schedules, photos and STUFF in one convenient place, often small enough to fit in the palm of our hand. Virtual British women enslaved and given the name Siri are at your beck and call to find recipes, give you directions, look up answers to kid's homework.
• My house is all now various shades of white/grey with little "pops" of color. The words traditional, open, fresh, clean and crisp were often used during our remodel. Open it up, maximize the space, but don't fill it with crap. Sounds like a mantra for life. 

I believe the principles of minimalism will help us maximize our happiness in our information and consumption saturated world. But we seem to be failing. I'm overwhelmed and you are probably feeling that way too. Life should be about the journey and not the destination or stuff we have. Perhaps our children will take our minimalist reformation we've started and really make the tough choices that we can't --- Just one TV in the house? Uniforms at public schools? 2-3 meaningful presents for Christmas? No video games? One car and the rest bikes? Debit only and no credit cards? It could go on but I've got to get to work to pay for our minimalist lifestyle. If anything, the obscene amount of money I've spent over the last year has re-confirmed the notion that money and material possessions will not make you happy. This whole minimalist business should be pointed at men as well. Time for me to get with the reformation (and quit writing such long blog posts). I open my arms to this new era of Mormon Domestic Engineering and hope it allows us to experience  maximum, joy, productivity, relaxation and happiness .      

Its Alright to Cry

In keeping with the last video, I recall a nasty mock song we used to sing as kids:

"Its alright to cry, it help take the pain away...
Its alright to cry, EVERYDAAAYY!!"

(It usually got no further than that as a fist fight was on at that point.)

Let's Get Vulnerable!

A friend of mine shared this video with me and I found it to be very profound. Like most of you, I don't enjoy being vulnerable, but it really is the key to unlocking real joy in life. For my LDS friends, ideas about opposition in all things will resonate.

I especially enjoyed her ideas on scarcity and being extraordinary. In the ordinary moments is where our greatest joy is found. Hope you enjoy and find some inspiration from this.

Mole Man

A couple weeks ago in Elder's Quorum I announced to the group that I would be making a Mole (chocolate) Chile to represent us at the Ward Chili Cook-off. I was met with skepticism and doubt, seasoned with a pinch of mockery. Nevertheless, I persevered and used the following recipe.

http://www.food.com/recipe/eds-chicago-cocoa-chili-chocolate-chili-18414

Almost all of the reviews were positive and I was ready to start my quest to ROCK THE ESTABLISHMENT OF CHILI. My first photo:

THE KILLER COCOA CHILI SPICE MIX

The first step was definitely the most tedious. Many of the spices called for were not in our pantry and thus, I wound up blowing a lot of time and coin at the store to make this dish... would the results justify the costs?

COOKING WITH CHANTICO & INDUCTION

 The above shows all of the wonderful color that goes into this dish before adding the spice mix and chocolate which tends to darken the color (just a little bit :). In case you are wondering, here is some background on Chantico from Azteccalendar.com

"She Who Dwells In The House, the goddess of hearth fires, personal treasures and volcanoes. Chantico broke a fast by eating paprika with roasted fish, and then was turned into a dog by Tonacatecuhtli. Chantico is closely related to Xiuhtecuhtli. In the tonalpohualli, Chantico rules over trecena Ehecatl (wind)."

CHANTICO - MY CHILI GODDESS

 I especially like her mustache.

The final touch - 2oz of 100% Ghirardelli dark chocolate. I watched as they settled on the top of the mix and slowly devoured the stew. After the Boss intervened and doubled the brown sugar, my creation was ready for competition. I was aware that presentation would be considered, so I searched the house for something Mexican that would add a layer of artistic appeal to the dish beyond salivating, sweaty men greedy for a fattening stew.

Over the past year, I've been cleaning out the ol basement and came across a figurine that was prominently displayed in our home for many years. He was gawked at and often dismissed as "lame" or "weird" by my associates. But he hung in there against the establishment. My chili must do the same. And so he became the symbol of my passion.

I took everything to La Iglesia for final judgement and was forced to wait in a sealed chamber while the judges practiced their analytic skill on the 13 entries. I honestly expected nothing as my work was outside the norm for typical Mormondom. As I said, I only hoped to rock people's world view. To my surprise the chili actually won second place in the judges voting. In the popular vote, I got nothing. Many confided to me afterward that they shunned my chili due to the bizarre owl man and the "DARKNESS" of my offering.

So in American political terms, I had a good run in the electoral college but got slaughtered in the popular vote. But it still felt like a strong moral victory for Mole Man and the art my father preserved for years despite its unpopularity.

Hopefully Dad got to take a quick peek at his creation draped with a silver medal and a side of chips.

World War Z

Just caught up with this audio book of the Oral History describing the zombie apocalypse. First off, let me say I'm not a huge zombie fan and was more interested in this book for its allegorical messages than fan-boy fiction. I should also say the pending film appears to be a MASSIVE departure from the book. I knew this going in, which actually made me more interested to hear it as the film will probably be much thinner on substance.

The book is supposed to be oral accounts of survivors across the world compiled by a UN historian years after the war. He makes it clear the point of the book is not to detail numbers, logistics and the science behind the war, but the human spirit involved.

So onto the allegorical applications:

• An actual outbreak of a virus. This has to be taken seriously regardless of whether you favor science fiction or fantasy, God or evolution. Here is some light reading and video on the subject. Of course, Michio Kaku is in the video. (I love that guy!!) 
• http://www.christadelphianbooks.org/agora/art_less/p-q22.html
• Spiritual Plague - How would people have to band together and fight to overcome tremendous evil sweeping the earth and turning all casualties into enemies? To a certain extent some of us probably think this has been going on since the beginning and is essentially how Satan does his missionary work. 
• What if we allow vampire culture to overrun the earth? We will all turn into Zombies. 
• Others might argue this story is an allegory of the kind of disaster it would take to return mankind to sound conservative principles such as public flogging, hard work, courage and a strong military complex. Hollywood would lose all of its value when people are constantly faced with death by un-dead cannibals. That is way more exiting than any 2 or 3D movie. 
• It is interesting to note that no reason is ever given for the outbreak and no cure is ever mentioned. It was simply war for warm blood. This again implies the allegory of the book is get us thinking about pure life and death struggle and what would we sacrifice to win. 

All I have left now is to wait for the movie and hope that Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) gets at least a cameo after his fantastic voice work on the book. 

Docu-MANIA!!!

Two quick reccomendations on stellar documentaries:

1. The Queen of Versailles - Chronicles the fall of a billionaire and his shopaholic wife. It was fascinating to see the cameras continue to roll after the recession and how these people can't quite seem to catch up with reality. Its like rolling in the slop with the greased up pigs of capitalism. Disgusting is the word I keep coming back to... and loving it.

2. Searching for Sugar Man - If you don't know anything about this... keep it that way and watch this flick. Totally awesome to see how things turn out. Needless to say, I love the singer-songwriter genere and bought the soundtrack right after watching the movie. If you watch the film, the music will honestly be about 5x better. Favorite track would probably be "A most disgusting song."

And yes, I did just give two glowing recommendations for documentaries. For some of you, this is a sign not to watch these films.

Getting Real with the Bible

Recently a reality TV producer set his hand to making a high-impact production of the Bible. I tried watching about 20 minutes and couldn't stomach it. It was all about violence and the spiritual message seemed lost. Apparently, they missed the message that the Bible is primarily a spiritual book and not meant to be an action movie.

This is a reason why I really enjoy the Church's Bible videos. I'm assuming they are much more quiet than the real life events. But its intentional, and allows us to feel the spiritual message conveyed by the book. Current film tastes push for that "real/gritty" factor, but I'm not sure it works when telling spiritual messages. They need to drop the grit and just get real to the purpose of the book.

The following video is of Peter and John healing a crippled man outside the temple. But the focus is ultimately not on the healing, but the quiet moments after the healing as the man realizes what his new legs can do.

I HATE Tortillas and Demand Universal Calorie Postings

Today the wife snagged me some lunch from Chic-fil-a and when she called me I thought of my options: greasy breaded sandwich, grilled sandwich or wrap. Thinking it was less of a calorie hit, I chose the wrap.

That stinking wrap had 410 calories!!! The greasy sandwich (which tastes about 1,000x better) was 440. For a measly 30 calories, I would have picked the latter.

Since last April I've become a calorie counter and generally know what I'm up to. But on this day, I was not thinking. For some reason, me and many others have tortillas in their heads as less calories than buns. (I don't blame you little girl... I BLAME YOUR MOTHER!!!) Generally tortillas are just as bad if not worse than buns. I can't even remember the last time I got the tortilla at Chipotle or Cafe Rio for this very reason.

But the real issues here are calories, information and the free market. I definitely lean conservative on most issues, but posting calories on menus is something our country has to do. EVERYWHERE. We have an obesity epidemic and I think it would be very helpful to the general public if this information was required on all menus (especially drive-thrus). But this sounds like another big-brother government program right? WRONG.

Proprietors complain that posting calories will hurt their sales. Why? Because its easy and cheap to make nasty food that tastes great and we buy a ton of it, unaware of exactly what we are consuming. This is not a market transaction. Here is a slightly abbreviated OCC definition of a market transaction between buyer (consumer) and seller (business).


Market Value - The most probable price... in a competitive and open market under all conditions requisite to a fair sale, the buyer and seller each acting prudently, knowledgeably, and assuming that the price is not affected by undue stimulus.

1. Buyer and seller are typically motivated;
2. Both parties are well informed or well advised, and acting in what they consider their own best interests;
3. A reasonable time is allowed for exposure in the open market;
4. Payment is made in terms of cash in United States dollars or in terms of financial arrangements comparable thereto; and
5. The price represents the normal consideration for the property sold unaffected by special or creative financing or sales concessions granted by anyone associated with the sale.

At a restaurant, motivations are generally clear for both parties (they offer food, we pay and eat). The big question is on point two. The proprietor knows what is in their food, but you don't. Its like buying a house but not knowing what may be wrong with it. That transaction is nuts for a buyer, but we do it all the time with food. We are therefore not well informed or advised and potentially acting in what we consider to be our own best interests. 

Proprietors complain:

But its hard to re-design menu boards! (except when you have a new menu item or special)

The information is posted on our website or that chart the size of Africa on the wall! (Yes, and everyone in line can easily get there or see it or have the time to look it all up.)

So why not require businesses to compete in the open market? If their food is crap and filled with 800-1,200 calories the market will decide if they want to buy or not. But consumers need the information readily available to even the playing field. Right now the deck is stacked in the restaurant's favor. We are all going to pay the bill (thanks to our medical system) for treatment of obesity related problems. Why make it worse so a few businesses can compete unfairly (with each other and consumers)?

I know there are a bunch of studies that say posting calories on menus and at fast food joints isn't helping. A few comments. 

1. How long have we been doing these studies and under what conditions? There may be flaws in the collection and analysis of the data. 
2. Many people eating fast food accept they are eating like garbage, but what about sit-down restaurants or other small establishments? Plenty of heath-minded consumers go there and could use the information. 
3. If this information were readily available everywhere and not just a few places, it may become more ingrained in people's decision making. 

Lately, there has been a witch hunt on smoking and getting out the truth about how its killing us. Why can't this be done for calories, weight and health? Look at what we've done according to the CDC:

Clearly, we can do better. I really don't want regulate people into skinniness, or control businesses. But I do believe in a free market place of ideas AND INFORMATION.

Imagine eating out in a world where restaurants are competing to offer menu items that maximize taste and calories. Give people the information and let the market decide. Its not socialism, its responsible capitalism.

DEATH TO ALL TORTILLAS!!!

Goulet = Valentines Perfection

To most of you it will come as no shock that I am an unabashed ROBERT GOULET FAN.

I don't hold him up as the greatest singer of all time, I just love his camp. Therefore he is perfect for Valentines day. And now I give you a classic.

Next, of of his all time best songs from Camelot:

  YOU ARE NOW COMPLETELY LATHERED UP. 

GO BUY ROSES, CHOCOLATES, 4LB TEDDY BEARS AND HEART SHAPED NECKLACES. REJOICE!!

I Love Comedy

Here are some videos I've seen lately that just killed me.

1. Adventure Time - Is it pathetic or awesome when a show your kids introduce you to becomes one of your favorites? I've never done the magic card game, but dabbled in a little D&D as a kid and the following clip reminded me of many a ridiculous evening with tons of tedious rules.
2. Next, a new take on the song I'm Sexy and I know it. All credit to M.I.L. John Mayer?
3. Key & Peele Sucher shared these with me and now I share them with you. Some mild profanity, but simply hilarious. You have to watch this one to the end. The photos on the side are priceless!

Fathers

Loved this clip from Mormon Messages. The symbolic use of sunlight is beautiful. Makes me proud to be a Father and a member of the church.

Movie & Book Club - Pathfinder and The Words

Dudes. Time for another iteration of my media breakdown for all outcasts from real book and movie clubs.

PATHFINDER - This is the first book in a new series by Orson Scott Card. After having multiple people tell me that I must read this book, I broke down and listened to it on a two-day marathon trip through the mountains. If you have read any of Card's work, you'll know or love the following elements of his writing:

• Genius or gifted children
• Multiple fart or other ridiculous juvenile jokes
• Time travel or people skipping through time
• MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TIME being covered (rise and fall of empires and civilizations)
• Bizarre pseudo-scientific explanations of theoretical physics
• A ton of talking and debate about said physics 
• Political intrigue
• Smart kids mouthing off to adults and ROCKING their world view
• Very little fighting
• Main character that should be a total Haas, but just talks his way out of everything

So while it may sound like nothing is original here, I choose to say its everything I love about his writing in a complex plot that is very engrossing. I'll admit some things could have been shortened, but I always love the huge scale and scope of his books. I don't want to spoil the books, but they are another very interesting take on humanity's potential and their relationship to the planet and the things they create. So just go read it and don't be like me. 

One small complaint. If the people in this book are so smart but lack fossil fuels, I find it hard to believe they would still be living in such squalor. A society with as much advanced knowledge could surely do better than the mid-evil world portrayed in this book. 

THE WORDS - The Boss and I did our usual Red Box run last night for a movie that she picks and I finish. Before you go any further I must give a spoiler alert! I'm not sure how I can discuss this movie without giving a few things away, but its a predictable film so I don't feel all that bad about it. 

Simply put, this movie is INCEPTION using authors. Layers or stories within stories, massive amounts of guilt and the desperate struggle to escape or cope with that guilt. It also has a somewhat ambiguous ending.  

I was surprised at what is a very star-studded cast with Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Irons, Dennis Quaid and Olivia Wilde. I'll say it right now, this is not a typical popcorn feel-good movie. It probably ticks a lot of people off which is why it was not a large commercial success. So if you are more indy-minded in your movie selection, this may be in your wheel-house.   

So let's get down to it. A struggling writer steals another man's long lost book and is treated as the next great American author. When confronted by the true writer of the story, can he live with the lie or will it destroy his life? Seems like an obvious answer, but it was interesting to see how this film shows the writer's attempt to explain what happened and blur the lines of fiction and reality to numb his guilt. I think the story shows the power of finding your true self (voice) in the midst of suffering and why we can't fake the stuff that matters most - even if we have succeed in fooling everyone. 

A good example of finding voice comes from JK Rowling. I recall her explaining that the death of her parents was with her the entire time she wrote the Harry Potter series. It wasn't really about the boy who is a wizard but doesn't know it. It was about a boy dealing with life after losing his parents. Those books are not literary classics, but the power of her grief gave her a voice that rang true for millions (billions) of readers.

Writers or not, I think everyone comes to develop a voice. Some call it identity, brand or "your offer to the world." What do you genuinely do well and have to share with others? Life can be sweet when you pay the price and make the world a better place. Fiction and fantasy cannot replace it. Perhaps its why most of our media choices leave us feeling so empty. Hard to be fulfilled by someone else's work.    

No to Thank You

I was brought to my attention about a year ago that the staff at Chic-fil-A is trained say "my pleasure" whenever you say thank you. At first this didn't bother me but over my next visit or two, it started to annoy the heck out of me. I had a day trip for business a week ago and I made it my goal not to say thank you at any point during the transaction.

Rather than saying thanks I say:

Yep
That's fantastic
Good deal
Cool
Sweet
Word
Solid

Not once have they responded with "my pleasure" to any of the above.

Am I being a jerk or saving these poor workers from saying something they don't mean? Am I not saving them from four extra lies in a given day?

People don't typically say my pleasure any more instead of the more common "you're welcome." It implies something more intimate than just common courtesy or performing one's duty. Maybe our society is so over sexed that the word pleasure simply can't be attached to anything non-sexual without some level of discomfort. Regardless, I'm going to carry on in my private crusade to have a more honest interaction with the Chic-fil-A staff. Join me if you are tired of the lies.

How Bitter It Is

I can't bear to say much more than this about our loss yesterday.

I think I may have urinated vinegar at some point last night. Here's to doing better next season once the next genius head coach in the NFL is no longer jacking up our offense. 

One-ups & Youtube

Just loved this... my kids will probably know this much problem more intimately than I ever will.

EXCALIBUR - The Greatest Christmas Gift... EVER.

Here is the video I made for the presentation of a Royal Gift to Queen Julievere this last Christmas. There are some black screen moments with music. This was intentional to allow time for gathering the present from the tree and the Lizard to shine her green finger light on the blade as it was unsheathed from its box.

Tears were shed. Heads shook in disbelief.

It was a moment to remember. See if you can guess what I gave her.