Enchanted & Sentimental Stuff

Merry Christmas!!!

Its that time of year to lay out my holiday thoughts. First thing to note are some books by Mitch Abloom, "For One More Day" and "Tuesdays with Morrie." I think this guy writes books for people like me that put a lot of time and energy into their work and sometimes miss the sweet, simple things in life. They are at bit much to read in one sitting (though they are short enough), mostly because its heavy emotional content. Plus, I don't want to shed any tears while reading them on the airplane (I'm sure Julie and most women would think thats wonderful and sensitive - but I don't). Reading these books has helped me keep some perspective and cherish my time with Julie and the girls. No financial success is better than memories I have of our tickle wars, bike rides in suburbia, hikes in Red Rock Canyon or just snuggling while watching a movie. Yes, I recommend these two books to anyone.

Last Friday night, Julie and I went to see Enchanted, the Disney movie that spoofs fairy-tales. It starts out briefly as a cartoon, but becomes a live action film after about 15 minutes when the heroine/princess is pushed by the evil queen into a well that sends her to a place with "no happy endings." So of course she winds up in New York City and meets a divorce lawyer. Prince charming chases after her, but in the meantime, the lawyer uses his persuasive words and talks her out of her engagement. It ends in a typical hand-to-hand combat thing at the end and everyone lives happily ever after.

For any of you keeping track, James Marsden (Cyclops in X-men and Richard "the other guy" in Superman Returns) seems to keep up his streak of being the boyfriend who gets hosed for the other guy. Maybe he's like this in real life - or his agent has a cruel sense of humor. However, he was my favorite personality in the movie. Why? This movie was all about the cheese, and he was the cheesiest. Just fun to watch. Amy Adams also did a good job as a sugar-sweet Disney princess, and her song with all the NYC vermin was fabulous. As for the guy from Grey's Anatomy? ... he did his usual McDreamy thing (I guess). This is really a rental, but it was a good wholesome popcorn movie for adults and kids.

On to my last thought and them I'll slip into the madness/holiday bliss of the 2nd half of December. This is my favorite time of the year. Christmas was huge for my father and he always pulled out all the stops to make it special. He decorated like crazy and made sure Christmas morning was something for kids to loose sleep over, even when he was financially hurting. I didn't have many personal moments with him, but Christmas always showed me how much he cared. This will be my first Christmas at home, in my own house, with my family and others coming to visit us. Since I can't decorate for beans, I've put my efforts into the lights on the house. While its not amazing, it helped me connect with that feeling my father must have got when he made the holidays special for us kids. It fills me up inside to see my kids have that look of Christmas wonder in their eyes and all my other cares settle into proper perspective.

My Christmas wish for the three people that read this blog is that you will be able to make those wonderful, lasting memories with your loved ones this year. I've set a goal to read the Four Gospels in the New Testament this month and it has truly helped me to remember the real reason for the season. I hope all of you are able to do things this year that bring you closer to Christ and your family; as that is where I've found my greatest happiness. God bless all of you and Merry Christmas!!!

Writer's Cramp

Some of you may be aware of the recent strike that is on from the writer's union in Hollywood. In a very rough nutshell, the writer's only get 1% of DVD and other sales and they'd like it to increase to 2%. Producers and studio execs say "no way" and the war is on. Who is right? Should writers get more bling for their efforts?

Part of me says yes. These guys are the creative guts and heart behind every movie and TV show. Many people can produce and many can act, however good writing is very difficult to come by (at least in my opinion and I'm no English major/minor). If I'm a producer, and I got results from a talented writing team, I'd pay them well so they would continue to work hard. Word of mouth would spread that top writers work for me and I'd have the best competing to work with me. Pay people what they're worth and it will come back to better business for yourself.

But this herein lies the problem. What are good writers worth? I suppose I could start to quantify it with revenue from ratings or ticket and DVD sales, but that would be boring and not get to the heart of the matter. Writers get treated like dirt because they are seen as idealistic, passionate communists who will suffer for their art (the same could be said about most actors too) at any cost. Shouldn't these guys be living underneath some brothel on the Sunset strip with a scratchy wool blanket and concrete block for a pillow? Just make sure there is a power outlet for their Apple Laptop to plug into. Let them live on Top Ramen, cigarettes and caffinate them with cheap black coffee to keep them producing. If they die, it is a good tragic death that will fuel more good writing. No sense in paying an idealist a ton of money.

These guys collectively got sick of their bohemian lifestyle and decided they wanted more. I recently read an article from Rabbi Bourch Leff where he quotes the following from George Bernard Shaw:

"If at age 20 you are not a Communist then you have no heart. If at age 30 you are not a Capitalist then you have no brains."

It appears that writers collectively gave up communism and decided to become capitalists. IN YOUR FACE MARX!!! ADAM SMITH WINS! Ha ha!

Frankly, I'm ashamed for these writers. All TV and movies are about to go to crap. But my guess is that if one asked a truly socialistic person, they'd say this has already happened. Then again, ask any right-wing nut job like me, and I'll tell you its all gone to crap too. So if everyone hates your work, you may as well get paid more for it right?

This is the part where I say NO!!! I predict that several writers will die under their scratchy blankets after the Ramen runs out and the coffee goes cold. Well connected ones may make more dough, and consumers will get hosed with higher movie ticket, cable and dvd prices. Why? The guys with the money have certain things called "investment goals". Let's say their criteria is that they get a 10% return on their investments. If writers get their 1% increase, the cost will be passed on to us so the producers can continue to get 10%. That's what people with the $$$ do. They don't eat costs, they pass them on or write them off. If they don't, they need to get a new CPA.

So enjoy the hike in prices America. I sure won't.

Dan in Real Life

No Daniel, this is not about you. But I did see a fantastic movie last Friday night with a main character that shares your name. "Dan in Real Life" was one of the best movies I've seen this year. Humor, love, family, death and "drama" all brought together in a wonderful package. It was in several moments very difficult for me to watch and it struck a few chords that probably wouldn't have hit their mark if I had seen this 10 years ago. (Probably because I would have been on my mission and feeling really bad about watching a movie).

The Plot - Dan (Steve Carrel - The Office) is a middle aged man who lost his wife four years ago. He writes a column about parenting teenagers, but in "real life" its much more difficult to practice what you preach. Dan is taking his three daughters to a family reunion and meets a woman (Juliette Binoche - Chocolat) the first day on his trip. Its love at first sight and after an hour of chatting, he gets permission to call her even though she just started seeing someone. Unfortunately, that someone is his brother who brings her to the family reunion later that afternoon. The movie is then filled with fun romance/family chaos over the secret love triangle.

I was very impressed with Steve Carrel that he could maintain being very funny in a serious character. Reminds me of Jim Carey and the Truman Show breakthrough. Most of the movie seemed well cast. I heard they ditched Jessica Alba for Binoche, which was a good move. She has a certain emotional aura that makes it believable that Dan could go head over heels for her in a couple of hours. However I've read several other reviews that put this movie well beneath Binoche and the idea that she could be dating the hated Dane Cook (comedian). But I thought it worked well. She liked Cook's character because he was using Dan's lines from his books and columns to woo her. Once she found the real source of inspiration she would go for the real thing. As a result, I thought the casting worked quite well, despite this not being some sexual French drama of Oscar proportions beneath one of the most "luminous" women of all time.

Another aspect of the film that I really liked was seeing a family have lots of fun together. I read several other supposedly "high-brow" reviews where the family was decried for being too cheesy and reviewers would rather slit their wrists that deal with people like that. (WOW. Good thing most of these "happy" people are not procreating - they just love angst, and frankly I'm not a fan of angst 24/7). But was the family cheesy? Yes, but THAT'S WHEN YOU HAVE THE BEST FUN! They had crossword puzzle competitions, talent shows, football games, kayaking... nothing perfect, but good times. This had to be one of the most positive portrayals of family life I've seen in years (which is why some people hated it so much). Ah, to each his own.

What made this difficult to watch is that it made me consider what would happen if I became a widower with two girls. How hard it would be to relate to them without mom around to interpret their actions. Especially love sick teenagers - YOU ARE THE DESTROYER OF LOVE!!! That title is coming to me in about 9 years. Love isn't a feeling - its an ability. And if that's true, I must be a superhero.

Overall, what I liked the most is that this movie had me flat-out laughing several times. Hard. And it was good humor. This is definitely a daddy-daughter movie that I can re-watch in the years to come with my girls and hope things never get that way.

Sign of the Apocalypse

Sports Illustrated has an interesting section in its weekly publication where unusual sports events are presented as signs of the impending apocalypse or end of the world. In an effort to be a blogger who beats the traditional media to the punch, I'm going to declare that the Rockies winning 17 of their last 18 games, winning a one game tie-breaker, and sweeping the NLDS, 3-0 to be a sign of the apocalypse. If this feat were accopmplished by the Red Sox or Yankees, it might seem stunning, but certainly not a sign of the end of the world. So why it it?

Growing up in Denver, we had the Broncos and the Nuggets. But baseball was always missing. The Denver Zephyrs just didn't cut it. We wanted the big leagues. I remember well in 1993 when the expansion team opened on April 5, 2 days after my birthday. The first batter hit a home run. Destiny was on our side. The whole town was crazy for the new team. Everyone had a Rockies ballcap. We heard that Cryps in the hood had adopted the hat as identifying paraphernalia. Despite our good feelings, we stunk that year, but it was OK, we had MLB at last. We continued to be awful until 1995, when Coors field opened and the Blake Street Bombers (Galaraga, Bichette, Walker and Castilla) combined to hit 139 home runs in the thin mile high air. We went to the post season for the first time and people thought the team had arrived. Then we got swept by Atlanta. I remember thinking that if we couldn't do it with that kind of hitting, we'd never get anywhere. And that's exactly what it was for the next 12 years. I'll admit, I barely kept up on the Rockies, did not watch games and just occasionally noted how pitiful and inept my home team was. But we had a cool ballpark and most figured the team would labor on as a way to watch other MLB teams that came to visit. Following a dismal 67 win season in 2006, another blogger made a photo-shop picture at the beginning of 2007 to show his apathy for the team (kitties on the right).

You can imagine how surprised I was to see the Rockies sustaining a winning record this year and contending for a playoff spot and claiming they had an MVP in Matt Holliday. I still didn't watch, figuring the playoff push would not bear fruit. Finally, when the tie-breaker game came around with San Diego, I decided to watch and feel the Pavlovian call to eat sunflower seeds and scratch. It was a very suspenseful game and the team really did look good. It went to 13 innings and a stunning come-back win after SD scored 2 runs in the top of the inning. Three runs seemed highly improbable. But to show that the world is near destruction, we rallied and a bloody Holliday rose from a controversial slide into home plate to send us to the post season. I was stunned. My shock continued when we won the first two games AT Philadelphia, the best offensive team in the NL, in a ballpark that favors hitters. Then came last night. A pitching duel, that ended in a 2-1 victory. 3-0. Sweep. I remember doing an ESPN sports nation poll before the series started and only 13% of the respondents thought the Rockies could sweep. During game 3, the crowd sounded like it was watching football or basketball game. Following the final out, the jumbo-tron showed the word: ROCKTOBER. Could it be that we already had a post-season slogan? The Rockies? THE ROCKIES? Yes. The world is coming to an end. We could get swept by the D-backs and it wouldn't matter. I'm just glad we got a small taste of winning before all the elements melt with fervent heat and the earth is wrapped as a scroll.

But could the winning be due to the team's recent adoption of so called "Christian Rules" of conduct and faith in a low payroll? Here are some encrypts on it from Wikipedia:

"On June 1, 2006, USA Today reported that Rockies management, including manager Clint Hurdle, had instituted an explicitly Christian code of conduct for the team's players, banning men's magazines (such as Maxim and Playboy) and sexually explicit music from the team's clubhouse. The newspaper reported:

Behind the scenes, [the Rockies] quietly have become an organization guided by Christianity — open to other religious beliefs but embracing a Christian-based code of conduct they believe will bring them focus and success.

From ownership on down, it's an approach the Rockies are proud of — and something they are wary about publicizing. "We're nervous, to be honest with you," Rockies general manager Dan O'Dowd says. "It's the first time we ever talked about these issues publicly. The last thing we want to do is offend anyone because of our beliefs."

The article sparked controversy, including criticism in a column in The Nation, which stated:

San Francisco Giants first baseman-outfielder Mark Sweeney, who spent 2003 and 2004 with the Rockies, said, "You wonder if some people are going along with it just to keep their jobs. Look, I pray every day. I have faith. It's always been part of my life. But I don't want something forced on me. Do they really have to check to see whether I have a Playboy in my locker?"

Soon after the USA Today article appeared, The Denver Post published an article featuring many Rockies players contesting the claims made in the USA Today article. Jason Jennings, a Rockies' pitcher, said:

"[The article in USA Today] was just bad. I am not happy at all. Some of the best teammates I have ever had are the furthest thing from Christian," pitcher Jason Jennings said. "You don't have to be a Christian to have good character. They can be separate. [The article] was misleading."

While the initial USA Today article caused some controversy, the main claims have been repudiated by the ballclub and its players in the subsequent Denver Post story."

Not all Major League baseball teams have similar revenue streams, which contributes to a disparity of "haves" and "have-nots" amongst franchises. Major League Baseball franchises average spending 48.9% of every revenue dollar on player payroll while the Rockies spent 28.4% of team revenues on player payroll. Only one team in all of MLB spends a lower proportion of team revenues on player payroll than the Rockies."

After learning about these controversies I became more proud of my team. I'm not a fan of people making obscene money for anything, much less playing a sport. I'm also all for organizations that uphold good moral conduct codes. Am I saying that the recent success is due to their claimed moral conduct? NOT AT ALL. Like many of you, I thought the way many of the the Rams players claimed that God supported them in their victory over the Tennessee Titans in the Super Bowl was ridiculous. However, I do believe that virtue in thought and spirit fosters strength in body and confidence in your ability to do your best. Clearly something changed in a team that was just awful. I don't believe that God helps sports teams win (even BYU). But I do believe that following Him allows you to be your best. Apparently, the Rockies found a way to be their best before the end of the world and I got to witness it.

Saturday Warrior

Nothing much going on today. There are a host of things I could/should be doing right now, but I'm feeling awfully neglectful of my blog. Movies, books, sports and a few social theories. That's what I comment on. Not sure I've got anything good to write about. So if you are crazy enough to read past this point, you are either very bored or a freakish speed reader with a thirst for lame blog commentary. Right now I'm a guy who has almost everything going good for him, but can't seem to enjoy what he's got. Always thinking about what's on the horizon (Yoda wasn't fond of that). I often feel happier thinking about the future or past than my current state. Perhaps it works that way for most people too. So here is a thought for the day. Be happy. RIGHT NOW.

Eat your heart out Zig Ziglar.

- And I'll see you at the top.

The 7th Results

!WARNING! This article is full of spoiler info if you are not caught up on the books or are just watching the movies. Read at your own peril. Mild as it may be.

This is my old Post. I'll put the results and my comments in blue.

What are the odds on who will die in book 7? After some searching on the "net" I found little information. No one in my home town has any odds on it, so as a "Las Veegan" I'm making my own. (Send check or money orders to me to place bets - j/k). I'll go through the major characters and then discuss what I think will happen in book 7.Before that gets rolling, I had to check up on what odds actually meant. (Despite my Stat 221 class). If I say the odds are 4 to 1 (4:1) the odds of the event happening are 4 chances for the event to happen compared to 1 chance that it won't. In this case 4:1 is 80% in favor of the event happening (4/(4+1)). Good Grief. On to the predictions that I made with my crystal ball and tea leaves (Don't call my Bishop). Most are just my hunches; I don't do hours of research in the books for this so don't send me a howler. Part of the reason I'm doing this is to go on the record with my predictions and for posterity's sake.

Hairless Potter: 1:10 - There is a popular theory that J.K. will kill Harry off so no one can use him in the future, but I don't buy it. I know the prophecy says "one can't live without the other" but I just don't see the books ending on such a dark note. Rowling said Harry may die and mentioned that a character got a "reprieve", but I doubt its Harry. I'm banking on "kids books" Happy ending.

BAM!!! 1 for 1. Off to a good start. Clearly Harry was never meant to die and was not the reprive.

Ron & Hermione: 1:10 - Once again, I think there is a very low chance of the "Big 3" being killed off. These books are "triumph over evil" tales, not Greek tragedy or some other high-brow stuff where you feel cool for reading something that was "real". This franchise will sacrifice some secondary characters, but not THE main characters. Besides, these guys are set to propagate the future Order of the Phoenix crew (which will be necessary - read on) and no Dark Lord or pesky blond haired bully is going to get in their way.

BAM BAM!!! 2 for 2. And after reading the last chapter, I was quite prophetic in my predictions about propegating the future.

Ginny Weasley: 50:1 - You heard it here. Ginny is TOAST. Burnt Toast. I see her as the classic girlfriend gets murdered and drives the hero to victory. Harry just gets to survive this book. If you have a vision of Ginny and Harry flying into the sun-set on a broom forget it. Ginny has not been a major character in the majority of the books and is easily expendable. She was already used by Voldermort and will get hosed again. SHE IS NOT THE REPRIEVE.

SPLUT!! I knew this was a risky prediciton, but thought it might work. Even in this book, she didn't have much letter time. Oh well...

Voldermort: 375:1 - This is a no-brainer. I won't even explain. Death & Taxes. By the way - these are the odds R2-D2 gave Luke and Han to survive on Hoth when shut out of the base at night.

[New Year's Whitle Blows] I'm a genius!!!

Snape: 4:1 - If he is good, then he's a worthy sacrifice to get rid of V-Mort. If he is bad then he deserves to die and most likely will. I leave in the 20% chance he could survive, just to cover my big ol white butt.

4 of 5. I'm feelin it!!!

Order of the Phoenix Characters: 1:1 - Hagrid, Lupin, Tonks, Fred, George, Bill, Fleur, Mr. & Mrs. Weasley and any other contenders. I lump them all together because I'm not sure about any of them. 50% on any of them. If its the twins, I say they both die. YOU JUST DON'T SEPARATE TWINS OKAY? As for RAB - I think he is dead. If I had to pick one to get waxed, I'd say Lupin in a steel cage werewolf death-match with Greyback.

R.A.B? - bam. Twins? - Reprive. I think George was the reprieve. Lupin- pop. I was right, but the manner of death was not as I predicted.

Death Eaters: 3:1 I think the casualties for these guys are likely to be heavier. In this sort of story, more bad guys die than good ones if there are to be casualties on both sides. Wormtail, LeStrange, Lucius, Mrs. Malfoy, Draco, Crabe, Goyle, etc. All on the chopping block. Most likely to die: Wormtail. Harry saved his life and he will re-pay Harry with his life (as is the Wizard code or whatever). Least likely to die: Draco. Just feels wrong. Aint gonna happen. Mark my words fool!

I'm getting tired of being "generally" right. Draco lives on to propegate the next great pro-wrester of the modern era - SCORPIO!!!

Dursleys: 1:1,000 - What would be the point? Dud-ums and his family are going to continue their life in suburbia - a fate worse than hell.The reprieve: I think this went to Ron. He and Ginny were going to both die, but that was a bit much. Harry would have hooked-up with H-Money in their grief and loneliness, but that would have been too much drama. After all, this is witchcraft, not a day time soap opera.

Darth Vader says: All too easy... The Dudley thing was a bit of a shock. The reprieve could still have been Ron... I'll have to look this up.

Predictions (Quick & Dirty): Dumbledore is going to give Obi-wan type assistance to Harry through fawkes. RAB is dead and was Regulus Black. Harry is not a Horcrux - You don't try to originally kill something you are putting your soul into. Harry will get hosed throughout the whole book, will not gain much in the ways of skills, abilities or powers, but will win on sheer luck and LOVE. Wormtail will kill Voldermort to settle his mystical bond with Harry for saving his life. (If you read LOTR this is going to be a disappointing rip-off of 'WORM-TONGUE' and Saruman -- GOSH! They can't even change the names up! Good thing Voldermort and Saruman don't sound similar.) Bellatrix will be killed by Neville. Lupin and Tonks will get together (although it will be temporary). Snape is good and will die tying to kill V-Mort. (I know, call me if you want that explanation).

OK. This is where I got lit up. Harry was a horcrux. But - BAM! Harry got hosed, no significant new powers, and won due to LOVE. - DO I HAVE A BEARD AND SOME SEER STONES??? (no). Wormtail? I was close. Bellatrix was killed by her antithesis in the book. Not forseen by me. Ouch. BAM!!! LUPIN AND TONKS TOGETHER temporarily AND THEN DEAD!!! WOO-HOOO!!! And I was right about the HPB.

This was easily my favorite of the books. Probably becuase it was outside of school and loaded with action. The one thing I really wanted when the 6th was over was to see a 7th book about a long quest out of Hogwarts to destroy the Horcuxes and my wish was grated. I was very pleased with that. The reminising feeling was appropriate, but never over-bearing. Just right. The resolution was well thought out and meaningful on different levels. Fantastic way to end such good books. And the door is wide open for more...

Shorter Potter & The Order of the PHX

Happy Friday the 13th! Time to spout my review of the latest of Dan Fletcher - I mean Dan Radcliffe flick. Although I didn't make the 11:59 PM Tuesday night show like a die-hard, I saw this last night at a comfy 7:20 PM showing in Red Rock Staduim. I called the theater before going and grilled some poor teenager about which screen is the largest and whether or not I should see the film digitally. Suprisingly, the kid knew the answers. The digital version was on a much smaller screen, so I opted for the grand scale of the 480+- seat theater. With Cafe Rio in my gut and Hot Tamales in Julie's hands, I was ready.

Just one problem. During the eternity of previews and commercials, Jules mentioned to me that Dan Radcliffe (the actor who plays Harry) is a short guy. I'd never really noticed before. OH HOW IGNORANCE IS BLISS!!! First it was Rocky's painted eyebrows, now this. The first scene with him and Hermione, she makes him look like a WUSS. Then I kept thinking about him wearing platform shoes, standing on boxes in every scene, etc. Kinda ruined things a bit for me.

But, after a while the film took over. The main impression left on me after reading the book was an overwhelming feeling of Harry's anger and frustration. I would say it was the most angry of the six books I've read thus far. And this film lived up to it. For kids, this was probably not such a good thing. But to a jaded 30 year-old, it was great. The happy go lucky days of the first two movies are long-gone. The story really has morphed from ooh, cool magic stuff into a grim look at how people would deal with the rise of Hitler and Bin-Laden rolled into one man in black robes. What really frustrated me about the first four films is that you never really got the feel of how much Harry suffered in the books. It all seemed too happy. I think anyone who has not read the books can get a good feel for Harry's emotional struggles (in all books) by watching this one.

A theme that I found in the film was the idea of how to deal with anger and fears. Do you isolate yourself or share your burdens with others? I think I'm more of an isolation person so I could identify with this. Cutting ourselves off from people who love us because we want to spare them pain dosen't work. It was a good theme that can be applied to everyday life. Toward the middle of the film Harry wonders if he is becoming evil because of the anger he feels all the time. Sirius teaches him that we all have light an dark within us, but its which we choose to follow that defines who we are. Some days we loose, but most we win if our hearts are in the right place and we keep the people we love close.

A word about adaptaion. This was the longest book and the shortest film. Hence, it came off much more like an actual movie than a re-hashed book in pictures. Yes, TONS of things were left out, but the critical items remained and that is enough for me.

The action in the Department of Mysteries was great, and the battle between D and V was highly entertaining. I did wish that D got a little more angry (I just couldent' get enough anger!) but he gave the "You shouldn't have come here Tom" speech well. The best stuff in the movie? Voldermort. Black suite at the train station, the battle with D and inhabiting Harry - FANTASTIC. Ralph Finnes does a great job and while its not Oscar material, he makes the character very believable and sinister. But, I actually found myselft hating that Umbridge lady more than anyone by the end of the movie. And let's not forget the Weasly twins and their exit from Hogwarts. As characters in the book would say, "Brilliant." Overall, great movie. Not sure I like it better than POA, but I'd hold it equal with GOF. The PG-13 is well deserved and my kids will not be seeing this one for a long time.

HEATED Thoughts

I feel the need to put many sweaty thoughts in the blog today. Yes , it is hot here in Las Vegas, but it is a DRY HEAT. I kid you not, I'd take this any day over 95 and 35% to 50% humidity. I can get cool in the shade, I don't sweat for at least five minutes in the car, and cold water makes a difference.

We are half-way through the year and six months removed from Christmas - "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Therefore, the current time is antithesis to Christmas or "The Most Terrible Time of the Year." You may be thinking I don't like the 4th of July, Pioneer Day, the Pool, BBQ and Vacation. Not true, I love those things. They make this time of the year bearable. But nothing can seem to overcome the summer drought of sports action that summer months produce. Baseball? - Tons of inconsequential games within a never-ending season makes watching HGTV more entertaining. Tennis? - Should be interesting, but I always get bored with it. Bring Back McEnroe!! Golf? - How does one even get into watching that? I know many guys love it, but it seems like a sport that should only have highlights during sports center. Competitive Eating? - Kobayashi falling was interesting to see even though he had lock-jaw or some sort of ailment, but still, this sport is disturbing to watch and makes you want to hurl. Arena Football? - Nice try, but still unsatisfying. Its interesting to see a different venue, skinnier goal posts, high scoring games and laugh at cheesy team names, but I can't sink my teeth into it. I can't get over that fact that I'm not watching the ELITE. The best of the best. As the Great Ice Man once said - "the plaque for the alternates is in the AFL" (OK I changed it a bit). NASCAR? - I'm not from the south or a Gasoline family. Poker? - I don't gamble and never intend to; so learning the game and watching a bunch of dudes in sunglasses sit around a table is no good to me.

So what is there to slake my thirst for Sports in the Summer? NOTHING!!! I get Dan Patrick and the Herd guy talking about who will be the next host of the Price is Right? NBA trade rumors? NFL stories about who won't show up for camp or got thrown in jail? KILL ME KILL ME!! COME ON! DO IT NOW!!! (Thanks Arnold). Here are my solutions to the problem. If nothing is to be changed, I suggest that ESPN 2 start carrying nothing but re-runs of American Gladiators and Classic 80s NBA, NFL and MLB. PERIOD. However, if I had the power, I'd make the NBA start in February - When people would give a rip and not miss any football and thus prolong the season through the Summer and have the finals sometime in August before Baseball playoffs get too close. If only it could happen, and I could quench my thirst, but alas, I am tortured year in a year out with no end in sight and hence, this is The Most Terrible Time of the Year.

Rocky Balboa

It may have taken awhile, but I finally saw this movie. The first possible attempt was at Dan's "wild" bachelor party, but the Italian Stallion got denied for a healthy plate of Nacho Libre. Two weeks ago, I came home on a Friday night with the movie from Red Box and Julie laughed me to scorn. Rocky didn't get watched that night and I took him back the next day. However, last weekend while Julie and the girls went to So Cal, Rocky finally got his shot. So what did I think? First I have to give you some history and education.

Growing up as a kid the 80s, you watched the Rocky movies - and then tried to knock your buddies out in the basement. These were inspiration films. You got a crazy notion in your head that you could take 20 clean shots to the face and keep fighting. You wanted to lift weights, go running and become a champion. You thought you could do anything, even end the Cold War.

I used to have a tape of Rocky quotes that Linnie and I would listen to at UNC. "Clubber Lang is in there he's trying to hit you! He's trying to hurt you Rock! - He's hookin, he's hookin, he's hookin! DAMN ROCK COME ON! [tomorrow, let's do it tomorrow] THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW!!

And how about the music? Eye of the Tiger, Gonna fly now, Training Montage, War, the fight music. My blood gets boiling just thinking about it.

Clearly these films embody some the best cinematic moments of my childhood. So back to Rocky Balboa. I heard it was a good movie. Had a good message, but I had no high hopes. First thing off in the movie, I realize it has been a while since I've seen Sly on the screen and he looks OLD. A couple minutes later, they do a close-up on his face. All I can think is Botox and Meg Ryan. Then, I notice the crow's feet by the eyes. Normal right? I don't have anything against crow's feet, but when an eyebrow is painted over them, then I have problems. I think there is a strain of OCD that runs in my family and I could not ignore the painted eyebrows. The fact that they went down to the corner of the eye was flat-out disturbing along with the overall botox feel that his face had. I know this sounds heartless, cold and cruel, but I've never seen an action hero look like this before and it made it very difficult to enjoy the film. I guess I'm cheap, vain and don't value my elders or I'm afraid of aging myself. You have to give Stallone credit, he was in good shape for this movie. And one more thing - his son was as awful in this movie as he as in Rocky V (which doesn't exist). Overall, this movie does the usual Rocky thing, drama, training and the fight. There are some good speeches about following your heart, being accountable to yourself, etc.

What about the boxing and training? The film's catalyst is a simulated ESPN fight between Rocky and the current modern champ Dixon "the line" something. (Ooooohhh) Rocky wins (making Dixon furious), and when the current champ hears that Balboa is interesting in fighting again he asks for an exhibition match - which in Rocky IV land means "death match." Rocky trains with Pauly and Duke, where they focus on strength training, thinking the only chance Rocky has is to KO the champ before going too many rounds. The usual training music is there, but it just made me miss the old sequences from I through IV. Fight was good, but the sound effects on the punching were too real. I wanted to hear those huge "BIFF! SMACK!! WHTHOCK!!" sounds that made you want to growl for joy like Mickey. Still a great fight, but not in the class of I-IV.

Aside from the eyebrows, the other errie thing about this movie is that it parallels the actor's own life so well. Frankly, I felt pity for him. Its almost like the movie should have been titled, "Sylvester Stallone." It felt like the whole film was Sly pleading, "I'm still relevant, my career isn't dead, I'm moving forward and you should too." Perhaps he should have just redone his speech that ended the Cold War, "If I can change, then you can change. EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!!!" - Well Stallion, "I DON'T WANNA CHANGE! I LIKE WHO I AM!! I'M BORN WITH A KILLER INSTINCT YOU JUST CAN'T TURN OFF AND ON LIKE SOME KINDA RADIO. WE HAVE TO HAVE A REAL ACTION HERO, BECAUSE IF THE WARRIOR CAN'T FIGHT THEN THE WARRIOR MAY AS WELL BE DEAD STALLION! Now I'm asking you, as a fan... please retire into the sunset with dignity. Don't make us go through this again."

Age in "Real People Years"

As some of you are aware, I recently left my young and vigorous 20's to reach the ripe age of 30. Yes, three decades of lame techno music, hair-metal, Broncos, 1,001 weird nick-names, no broken bones (knock on wood), no stitches (KOW again), K-12, little league, weight lifting, mission to Boston, 4 colleges, 1 hot wife, 2 adorable kids, one fat mortgage, valuation dreams, tinted windows, butt-loads of chocolate and tons movie quotes. Despite all of this frivolity that would serve to preserve my youth like salt to a great hunk of meat (which I am), I have aged prematurely and am well beyond my actual age in "Real People Years".

I was married at the maverick age of 22, a cradle robber, who used all of his powers of persuasion, charm and animal magnetism to wed the 19 year old blond-bomb-shell Julie of San Diego. At the robust age of 24, a brazen stork came crashing through my living room window and delivered a 9 lb. 11 Oz. Lizard into my life. At that moment, my place on the space time continuum was altered. My theory is that I instantaneously transfered to the age of 30 when that happened. Now how could I support such a cocka-mamia theory?

Dr. Dating recently revealed on a morning radio show that most people in their 20's forsake romance and love for education and career (and let's not forget almighty travel - which always seems to be a fantastic reason to delay marriage, kids, etc). In their 30's many people of my generation find love and family and spend their 40's trying to reconcile their 20's and 30's. As I was saying, at 24, I was robust. Then I had my first kid and gave up the roaring 20's for family life doubled with career aspirations. I was doing the 40's thing, trying to reconcile family, career and romance all at once. Therefore, I conclude the effective age of my life at the time of the birth of my first child near the middle of the decade range (2o's to 40's) at 30.

So when you ask if I feel older, I say yes, because my effective age in "Real People Years" is now 36. But don't cry for me Argentina. In the words of the great singer Frank Sinatra:

Ive loved, I've laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

Review: Music & Lyrics, The Prestige, Stranger than Fiction.

Over the last several weeks I've seen three films that I liked quite a bit and wanted to share my thoughts on them. If you have not seen them and want to avoid spoilers, read no further.

Music & Lyrics
This is the only film I saw in the theater. The occasion was for our purposefully bleated Valentines day, where Jules and I were so sick we just ate bowls of won-ton soup for dinner before the show. (Nothing can stop us from celebrating this holiday - and the Burr should be grateful). After 20-mins of commercials and previews, I'd almost forgotten what we came to see. The lights went down and everything was quiet. In the darkness the studio's logo began materializing and I heard this steady synthesized keyboard rhythm, that only the Roland Juno 106 could produce. Being a huge fan of synthesized 80s music, a grin spread across my face from ear to ear. The opening sequence was an original 80s music video that was everything you loved about the 80s. Cheesy lyrics about gold and silver, Flock of Seagulls hair-dos, lots of awkward male dancing, over-dramatic relationship storyline, you know, the works. I laughed my rear-end off and so did most of the theater.

Some have said that this move is the Wedding Singer, but substitute Hugh Grant for Adam Sander. That is somewhat true. BUT - The main difference is in the title (Wow - I'm a GENIUS!!) Okay. This one is not set in the 80s, is not focused on weddings, has no love triangle, and is about a washed up star, not a wannabe star. It is a great film about has-beens and how they interact with the world. The thing I liked the most about the film is that is had a tight time line, that keeps good tension in the plot. The humor was pretty clean and the overall feel was light-hearted. It was a good escape from the worries of the day and revel in my 80s nostalgia. Perhaps the best part of the movie was the music. Most of it (as far as I know) was original and clever. If you like music, this should at the least, be interesting for you. Apparently, it was the #1 album on itunes after its release. Overall, I highly recommend this for your next romantic comedy. It is one of the top 3 chick-flicks I've seen in a long-time.


The Prestige & Copy Cats
Magicians operate on a three-act basis: The Pledge, The Turn, and The Prestige. This is a hard movie to write about because I SERIOUSLY don't want to give anything away. Hands down, this is the best movie I've seen in 2007 (it came out in 2006). When I first saw the cover, I thought "Its Batman vs. Wolverine!", but there is much more to it. The film is directed by Chris Nolan (Batman Begins) and the main supporting actor is Micheal Cane (Alfred- Batman Begins). So if you liked the chemistry of Batman Begins (which I did immensely) then I guarantee you'll love this flick. This movie has multiple layers of meaning and I'm looking forward to a second viewing.

The film chronicles the rivalry between two magicians in the 1800s. Both pull some good tricks on each other that are great to watch. The movie has very little swearing, violence or strong action. But it was intellectually and emotionally tense the whole time. If you hate to think during a movie, avoid this one. But for those of you that do, I guarantee you'll be watching it a second time.If you liked the Illusionist (I did), this one is 5x better. The Illusionist is a similar film about a magician set in the 1800s, with a surprise ending. This brings me to a good opportunity to discuss an interesting phenomenon in Hollywood. Ever noticed how two similar movies come out at the same time? Here is a list:

Armageddon & Deep Impact
Harry Potter & LOTR
Star Wars & Flash Gordon - That's not a stretch!!
Tombstone & Wyatt Earp
Speed & Blown Away
First Knight & Braveheart
Dark City & The Matrix
Mission to Mars & Red Planet
Pirates of the Caribbean & Master and Commander
Conspiracy Theory & Enemy of the State & Arlington Road

Please comment and tell me if you come up with more.

Is there a conspiracy? Or Hollywood just stealing each others ideas because they have no originality? I guess other businesses do this all the time too. One of my favorites is Gillette and Schick. How many blades can a person shave with? 2 blades, 3 blades, 4 blades, 5 blades or 6 blades with battery power? Soon I'm going to be shaving with something that won't fit between my nose and upper lip and I'll have to buy a special blade from them just for that. Let's hope they don't read this.

Stranger than Fiction.
Whew! If you are still reading this post from the beginning you must either be really bored, or my mother. (No offense mom). I don't think Julie reads my Blog, but that is another topic for another day. --- On to the movie. Very interesting. Reminds me of a mix between John Candy in Delirious (where he is a soap opera writer that can write his future) and Her Alibi (a Tom Seleck Movie where he narrates the story as it goes) - (I recommend both those to your Netflix list).

The film is about a boring, rain-man esque I.R.S. agent who starts hearing a British Woman narrate his life with stunning accuracy. Will Ferrell can make anything funny and does a great job of going from a mild mannered auditor to a freaked-out guy discovering himself. He finds out through the help of a literature professor that his life is being narrated by a woman who always kills off her heroes in a tragedy. He then tries to find a way to stop this from happening. I think my favorite line from the movie was "This may sound like non-sense to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy" My other favorite moment is when the whole bakery (run by his love interest that he is auditing) boos him as the "TAX MAN! - BOOOO!!!" The movie also has a bunch of special effects that measure and count things on screen showing how his mind works which is very interesting to watch (especially for someone like me who has zero math power). Overall, you'll have a good time with this one and I highly recommend it.

The Female PHD and Honesty

Recently my wife hosted a Mary Kay party. During this time I was relegated to taping Smallville, and watching re-runs of Oprah and Dr. Oz. Throughout the answers to questions about cellulite and skin cancer I overheard this constant "Awww" sound coming downstairs. Usually, I'm in the middle of such situations so I hear the actual words and don't focus on the "Awww". Alone in my thoughts I realized it is the sound of women being cute to each other. It is the sound of masks, manners and manipulation. It is the sound of female honesty, designed to do one thing. Get men in trouble.

No man can live up to the principles of female honesty. Why? Becuase we don't have a ton of estrogen, a crazy, irrational, emotional streak, and a capacity to follow 1,000,000,000 flowery rules simultaneously. Perhaps the 10 Commandments were more for men than women. We can't handle any more than that.

Case Study: Man's answer to PHD. I recently listened to an FM talk show that featured a castrated man apologizing for calling his wife's recent hair cut "fine". The woman was suffering from PHD (Post haircut/style Depression). She wanted her man to say something like "good, great, wonderful, beautiful" etc. In the world of emotions, fine is a word that couples use to end arguments. FINE!! In the dictionary, fine is an adjective meaning: "of superior or best quality; of high or highest grade, choice, excellent, or admirable". This is a perfect example of the superiority of cultural context in language. This guy got hung out to dry on city-wide radio because he failed to live up to a bogus notion of honesty. Was he trying to be cruel or insensitive? No, he simply thought the hair looked good, nothing amazing, but definitely not bad. To say more or less would have been dishonest in my opinion.

Let's say that God came to visit you at your house. How would he respond to the question "How do I look?". I don't presume to know the answer, but I strongly feel that he would not be looking at your clothes when answering the question. He would look at the heart, the intent and soul of the person. What would he say to you if you asked him this question? I believe that we should try to follow God's example in all things (and for the record I'm not great at it, but I try). So when my wife asks me "how do I look? or what do you think of my hair?" What should I be focusing on? The outward appearance? In this context, I think I would say "you look beautiful" and that would be an honest answer. Even if she was wearing grey sweat pants, white sneakers and flock of sea-gulls hair-do. She is the love of my life. I love her regardless of hair, clothes, etc.

So why is it that when most men give their Ladies an honest answer: "good, fine, beautiful, great" they get this "exhale" from the woman and she goes looking for another woman's opinion? GUYS, WHEN YOU MARRY A WOMAN, YOUR OPINION NO LONGER COUNTS. This is because IF she knows you really love her, she can no longer use your opinion. Here is the example:

Sometimes when you are a kid, your mom gives you a compliment and you brush it off, because you think "my mom loves me and will always tell me something nice - I want the truth!" WRONG!!! You had the "real" truth from mom, you just want your pride gratified. You want that feeling of being praised and adored by others. So you go and get it. And if you don't you will be offended by anyone who is less than gushing. I think this applies to men as well, but in terms of work, physical ability, etc. Women want validation from their own set of rules and not the genuine ones. Hence, no man can live in the land of 1,000,000,000 rules and not get shot.

What I don't understand is why women would accept such watered-down, bogus and fake compliments all the time? Who wants to live a life where you are not sure if anyone is ever telling the truth? ESPECIALLY WITH REGARDS TO THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE? How can one expect to never be offended? Everyone should just "know better". I'm not saying its okay to give cruel comments to people. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything or find something that you do like and comment on that.

Last example. The phone voice. How many times have you had your mother, wife, sister etc. yelling at you, hear the phone ring and flick an internal switch and answer with this honey sweet "hello?... Oh hi!! ... yes!... sure! ... okay mmm buh-bye" and then go right back slamming their fist down your throat? The phone voice almost always cracks me up. If I were are woman, I'd have sappiest phone voice ever. I once heard a man say: "Sweetie, I'll do anything you ask me to; if you'll ask me in your phone voice".

The sum of my rant? GIVE US MEN A BREAK!!! We cannot possibly live up to the 1,000,000,000 rules. If you need your ego waxed, go find someone who plays the game. When you want the straight "loving" dope, come to your man.

For another blog on this topic visit: http://jmdougherty.blogspot.com

TOP 10 CHURCH FILM MOMENTS

I got thinking about his the other day with my esteemed co-worker and decided this would be fun. Here are my top 10 favorite moments in all Church/Mormon cinema.

10. Family First:

[Dad] "Let's all play Chinese Checkers!"
[Kids & Mom] "No! Let's jump on the trampoline!!"
Dad frowns, followed by them all holding hands and jumping in a circle on the trampoline. Hilarious moment. You'll have to watch it again. The dad playing basketball with his kid after getting fired was pretty good too.

9. Our Heavenly Father's Plan:

The narrator guy in this cracks me up with his camping antics. Here are some of my favorite things he does (they have to be combined for this list):
-Drinks from a stream with is hand and wipes his mouth from the elbow all the way to the hand.
-Does a massive nostril flare after saying a prayer.
-Fries fish during an important speech.

8. God's Army:

Richard Dutcher throwing the table after the Elder bolts to go home. I think this was the first time anyone put a missionary doing something really crazy on film. I have it here for sheer originality and shock value to me when it happened.

7. Together Forever:

[Bow-tie Dad] "And pretty soon the women and the office start looking better and better and your family starts looking worse and worse and before you know it? Boom. You've lost everything" - I just like the line. What can I say? I did a parody of this on my mission:
"Pretty soon the picture of your girlfriend starts looking better and better and your companion starts looking worse and worse and before you know it? Boom. You're going home."

6. Singles Ward:

[Kirby] "I'm going to Boise Idaho...I'm going to BOISE IDAHO!!!"
The dance that follows was great.

5. Book of Mormon Movie:

I hate to say it, but I was honestly embarrassed walking out of the theater. But what really capped this off was Laman and Lemuel growling into the fire. I laughed out loud (LOL for you texters). This was a fantastic unintentional comedy moment.

4. Charlie:

In my humble opinion (IMHO - texters), this is probably the most well made film in terms of serious acting, dialog, etc. I don't have any one particular moment, just an overall good film that surprised me and then made me shed a (much restrained) tear or two.

3. Cipher in the Snow:

When that kid finished building his snowman with a horizontal piece of chewing gum, it gave the snowman a look that said "suicide". I have rarely felt compelled to laugh and cry with pity at the same time, but this one did it. Actually, the whole film could be one of the most emotionally confusing things I've ever seen.

2. The Prodigal Son:

[Older Brother] "I've been the good guy! --- I'VE BEEN THE GOOD GUY!!"
I love this for its comedy, but it does teach a powerful lesson about pride, and everyone needing Christ. Great moment.

1. Christ's Ministry in the Book of Mormon Seminary Video / Helam meets Christ in the Testaments

I put these two together since they are roughly about the same thing. Both are basically silent, but powerful. Goes beyond words to describe, but I guarantee you'll feel the spirit when you watch it.